A JOB CANDIDATE ... IN HOLLYWOOD

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet "the Sloth," a job candidate who showed up on the doorstep of Capitol Records in Hollywood yesterday with just enough gumption to get out of bed, but not enough to really pound the pavement. I overheard him yesterday trying to convince a security guard to let him in. "I'm here for a job," the Sloth explained, "Can you just send me on upstairs? I want to be a big time record producer." "Well," said the guard, "You don't seem to be on my list here ... do you have an appointment?" "No. Do I need one?," the Sloth replied. "I can't let you upstairs if you're not on the list," said the guard. "But you don't understand," said the Sloth, "I want you guys to hire me!" Thus far, I was in the Sloth's corner, but wait until you hear what happened next. "Have you tried submitting a resume?," asked the guard. "What's a resume?," asked the Sloth. "Well, it's a document that lists your experience," replied the guard. "Why the hell would I need something like that," said the Sloth, "I've got talent and that's all I need." "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't help you," said the guard, "Why don't you just send in a resume?" "Could you create one for me?," asked the Sloth, "I'm really kind of busy today but I trust you to do a good job for me ... just make sure you mention how talented I am." That security guard had the patience of Job. Maybe he can moonlight as a Job counselor ...!