tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34735677060843972302024-03-12T18:47:30.764-07:00Heard at StarbucksDaily Dispatches from the Corner of 7th and MontanaMartyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.comBlogger2376125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-59880321934824111702014-11-28T17:34:00.000-08:002014-11-28T17:34:35.293-08:00CHAIR AND CHAIR ALIKE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEOFPq3oUCmYRAi81-faDd7kq_EtcB4FRuPxA8joWxpcEvOTac1aPEX4nTEwZ66Zho9lhgOkwnXhMRbjZQFwnRyAyc7f7tWpIuZwpv74qEQQqfRqUiqiNKnVGjwb1psphtkE3EM8XbDuk/s1600/chairs1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEOFPq3oUCmYRAi81-faDd7kq_EtcB4FRuPxA8joWxpcEvOTac1aPEX4nTEwZ66Zho9lhgOkwnXhMRbjZQFwnRyAyc7f7tWpIuZwpv74qEQQqfRqUiqiNKnVGjwb1psphtkE3EM8XbDuk/s1600/chairs1.JPG" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It
was three chairs for Bob and Joyce at 7<sup>th</sup> and Montana last week as they started a new trend at Our Favorite Starbucks: Bring your own chairs. Why? Because bit-by-bit over the last several months the Starbucks 'patio' chairs have been disappearing ... and those that remain are so old they're practically growing rusticles. Folks have complained, both locally and via the Starbucks website, but so far no one has done anything about it. Some blame the city, saying there are certain restrictions on outdoor seating. This may be true, but it doesn't explain why chairs that have broken or gone missing at Starbucks haven't been replaced. I ran a count this morning, comparing the outdoor seating at Starbucks with other cafes with the same amount of sidewalk space on Montana and the discrepancies are striking: Our Favorite Starbucks has only 10 chairs left outside. Peet's, just blocks away, has nearly twice that amount and Groundworks -- are you sitting down? -- has a whopping 51 chairs outside, plus a bench that seats three. Perhaps we should alert the Starbucks Chair Man ...?</span></span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQFX0mjKCCEjJWypB4m6B1KlpLGSpeyBoW6aBv6UdjPYq5yMCG9aXgnJP_709Xzn229E5HLiyGbywYK4Y1IpmRkn4jjmpp7qdXogBOp7lXHFhds6p53ZDWBkk0TC1plEGfOtyS-OcAbCg/s1600/chairs2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQFX0mjKCCEjJWypB4m6B1KlpLGSpeyBoW6aBv6UdjPYq5yMCG9aXgnJP_709Xzn229E5HLiyGbywYK4Y1IpmRkn4jjmpp7qdXogBOp7lXHFhds6p53ZDWBkk0TC1plEGfOtyS-OcAbCg/s1600/chairs2.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-81874023245997020582014-10-24T19:00:00.000-07:002014-10-24T19:00:07.813-07:00ONE LUMP OR TWO ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDAVXBMWimCpzvn0uw3FyZ6ubtjDJ0rK61CPDQZGhKDQYfVezs_I8EJpANbeDS4EQjaeEf8EG06Hh7gVW1R3htUZkVES0qCUO1CMiXpdITWFZ9waEK09ak8ajWHD6zw5s_ptQJrCfl8YY/s1600/Sweetie3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDAVXBMWimCpzvn0uw3FyZ6ubtjDJ0rK61CPDQZGhKDQYfVezs_I8EJpANbeDS4EQjaeEf8EG06Hh7gVW1R3htUZkVES0qCUO1CMiXpdITWFZ9waEK09ak8ajWHD6zw5s_ptQJrCfl8YY/s1600/Sweetie3.JPG" height="320" width="295" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Ladies
and Gentlemen, meet the Sugar Mama, a local loon without equal at 7<sup>th</sup>
and Montana.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually, she has lots of
Equal … and that’s just the problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Every morning, she makes a beeline for the artificial sweetener and
Equal is her brand of choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She doesn’t
just put it in her coffee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She stuffs packets
of it – one after another – into her mouth and eats them whole, wrapper and
all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes she’ll down more than
seven packets in a single sitting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“You’ve got to admire her technique,” I said, “She somehow manages to
chomp all that paper – together with the artificial sweetener -- without making
a single sound.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here’s how she does
it:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She folds the packets into tiny
squares, then quickly pops them into her mouth and nibbles like crazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“That’s one way to get your fiber,” said
Joyce.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some say she puts the sugar in
meshugenah, but I say to each their own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If she wants to make an aspartame of herself, that’s her business …!<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-54516077838983057002014-10-09T18:24:00.000-07:002014-10-09T18:24:16.916-07:00A-LOON AT LAST ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeKpLTnjl1V1AEJFUJfGD4EueD5RZbAW8_ckpKouN4gwCK2xvwJq_wChoBYIviZSE6i4OG1D97tajfrBX1I2u-7iYxs0kE7G5oO4KF3VA-ECe9ypfnmxOYQCpzzSNpYbgGVeE6dc6CFK8/s1600/OldNavy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeKpLTnjl1V1AEJFUJfGD4EueD5RZbAW8_ckpKouN4gwCK2xvwJq_wChoBYIviZSE6i4OG1D97tajfrBX1I2u-7iYxs0kE7G5oO4KF3VA-ECe9ypfnmxOYQCpzzSNpYbgGVeE6dc6CFK8/s1600/OldNavy.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Watch
your step, folks, there’s a new loon in town.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Meet the Admiral, a man who can’t resist screaming “Old Navy” for no
apparent reason at five-minute intervals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I first noticed him yesterday, standing at the doorway of Our
Favorite Starbucks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Old Navy?,” he
asked me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Gap,” I replied, brushing
passed him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Banana Republic might have
been more appropriate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Twenty minutes
later, he flew into a rage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“OLD NAVY!,”
he shrieked, gesturing wildly and toppling over a trash can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Take that!,” he continued, throwing a chair
on the sidewalk and kicking someone’s bicycle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>By this point, I had assumed the standard 7<sup>th</sup> and Montana
Loon position:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Duck your head down and
stare intently at the floor. Don’t make any sudden movements.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Money, Money, Money!” the Admiral screamed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Neighbor Johnny gave him 50 cents, which
seemed to make matters worse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Starbucks
management called the police, who carted him away faster than you can say
“Urban Outfitters.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was last seen
shopping for something in stripes …</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-51697057508606917882014-09-17T17:25:00.002-07:002014-09-17T17:25:59.435-07:00A PHOTO FINISH ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHtSIABpJY9NTyQ-sLPAHu6FyPdqtRccLmUmX3fIFe2wEX5OZL57sSAkp792hmDDtsJhPGGh-86xRpMcAyfPcV2Y47RNT1ImwaaKGL1PaljkAXDRStNAqrttdKbt7OV0-iPNM_xZZdSuU/s1600/Finnish.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHtSIABpJY9NTyQ-sLPAHu6FyPdqtRccLmUmX3fIFe2wEX5OZL57sSAkp792hmDDtsJhPGGh-86xRpMcAyfPcV2Y47RNT1ImwaaKGL1PaljkAXDRStNAqrttdKbt7OV0-iPNM_xZZdSuU/s1600/Finnish.JPG" height="400" width="298" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It
was ‘Yakety-Yakety-Yak’ at 7<sup>th</sup> and Montana on Sunday as a visitor
from Finland made the scene, intent on Skyping up a storm on his iPad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At first, his loud babbling was merely
annoying, but after about 45-minutes I wanted to tell him to go to
Hell-sinki.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally, Kovar interrupted
him long enough to get the scoop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“What language is that?,” he asked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“It’s Finnish,” said the Newcomer, “It's very distinct, isn't it?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I just wish he’d
Finish,” muttered Cathy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the
conversation went on and on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t
know what sort of manners they teach across the pond, but something tells me
this guy could use a few semesters at a good Finishing School …<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-79345596128649812052014-08-15T17:23:00.001-07:002014-08-15T17:23:48.662-07:00URINE FOR A TREAT ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbWBfBNFw1oYiPUF05mC3MtnC-AUMxGQKJ1a9al5qffVAi_ULuvO3xO3RksfoDVIJ9uVifPdpgWs3sj6HBzhiZ_3iZJkM4juS90Axy5J-OPzQRYnAGO0Sz2ooH-CIrHxbMt-2Q0vYRtWc/s1600/Urine.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbWBfBNFw1oYiPUF05mC3MtnC-AUMxGQKJ1a9al5qffVAi_ULuvO3xO3RksfoDVIJ9uVifPdpgWs3sj6HBzhiZ_3iZJkM4juS90Axy5J-OPzQRYnAGO0Sz2ooH-CIrHxbMt-2Q0vYRtWc/s1600/Urine.JPG" height="500" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Bladders were bursting at 7th and Montana this morning as an Anonymous Newcomer known as "Dr. Leaky" left a few souvenirs in front of Our Favorite Starbucks: Three glasses and a carton filled with urine. "Eureka!," I cried, "At long last an end to the News Drought!" And the story gets better. Evidently, someone left a single glass of urine in the same spot yesterday. Stay tuned, folks, something tells me we're in for a gusher tomorrow ...!</span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-22358943922654908822014-07-19T16:30:00.001-07:002014-07-19T16:30:30.054-07:00DUMBBELL ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiijorjlCiI6LfKYxJQVssWxa1zUP10LmL_xR3sxq2m7BgSNeYAwzRKTZUR7ow3Tz2-waQj84eGot46D31dJbqcdcb5SU1ehT9ELPJQ3DevSnU0hLqeUYflsKUIfu1fmddhyphenhyphenwlgrKVJ4co/s1600/Dumbell.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiijorjlCiI6LfKYxJQVssWxa1zUP10LmL_xR3sxq2m7BgSNeYAwzRKTZUR7ow3Tz2-waQj84eGot46D31dJbqcdcb5SU1ehT9ELPJQ3DevSnU0hLqeUYflsKUIfu1fmddhyphenhyphenwlgrKVJ4co/s1600/Dumbell.JPG" height="298" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Boy do I feel like a dumbbell. There I was at 7th and Montana this morning, tempting fate, commenting on how quiet it has been lately, when the floodgates opened. "Gee," I said, "We haven't had any loons around here for a while." And it's true. Except for the growing pile of dog feces at 7th and Georgina, it's been a pretty quiet summer. And then it happened. An Anonymous Loon headed my way screeching "Rivers of Blood, Rivers of Blood." He was a thin, young man in his mid-twenties with a crazy glint in his eye and a baseball cap on his head. He carried a dumbbell in one hand, wrapped in paper, which he used for emphasis, much like a professor with a pointer. "Only the Pure Bloods will survive," he cried, "Hells-a-poppin'!" He babbled on and on breathlessly for 20-minutes. "Maybe he gets paid by the word," I said. And then the police arrived, donned their rubber gloves and escorted him away. Whether he was on drugs or just unstable, I hope he gets some help. Meanwhile, next time I start wondering why it's been so quiet at Our Favorite Starbucks, I'll keep my mouth shut ...</span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-15514257684096595082014-06-20T17:58:00.001-07:002014-06-21T07:22:42.469-07:00OFFICER ON DOODY ... AT 7TH AND GEORGINA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTko4bDLcMyOcPs9Sq4fKxgZjksqcDiVCarvbG2xP7Dx3UKbErZNvQim0HojpA6-KLdO6srBNIpJkAHXTM210v6-ilgPBk_6h2czamI_Ozc63-expBqtHhnw0DGcLzIbUUoxPUoy5ajm8/s1600/Poop.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTko4bDLcMyOcPs9Sq4fKxgZjksqcDiVCarvbG2xP7Dx3UKbErZNvQim0HojpA6-KLdO6srBNIpJkAHXTM210v6-ilgPBk_6h2czamI_Ozc63-expBqtHhnw0DGcLzIbUUoxPUoy5ajm8/s1600/Poop.JPG" height="298" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Sirens were blaring near Our Favorite Starbucks this week as police finally responded to mounting evidence of a scandal at 608
Georgina.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here’s the poop:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For weeks, someone has been depositing little
plastic bags filled with dog poop in a fenced-off area intended to protect a
palm tree during construction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bags
have been piling-up, layer-upon-layer, faster than you can say Shit
Mountain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No sooner does one batch petrify, than another accumulates on top of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Police have been nosing around for days now trying to identify a suspect
known among locals as ‘the Poopmeister.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Some say he’s just trying to get attention, but I think he has a loftier
goal in mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s building a
Stairway to Paradise … with a new step every day!</span></span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-42848263034060443432014-06-17T20:40:00.000-07:002014-06-17T20:40:11.118-07:00WOMEN AND CHILDREN, FIRST? ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH1_ZIBnijg5ER4WDMV0NV8Q7UbzAoww0dt4x46AdgdAW7lG-MiXNIrOFWxP-9pF0bMFNxtHbMaVrZFDLdddTmKMwBmRM8GtVE4OjCTQAW5PpnQu7F7bzy1CZlQSv5689_EXupw4737Y8/s1600/LifeSaver.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH1_ZIBnijg5ER4WDMV0NV8Q7UbzAoww0dt4x46AdgdAW7lG-MiXNIrOFWxP-9pF0bMFNxtHbMaVrZFDLdddTmKMwBmRM8GtVE4OjCTQAW5PpnQu7F7bzy1CZlQSv5689_EXupw4737Y8/s1600/LifeSaver.JPG" height="640" width="476" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">"My owner went on a Caribbean Cruise, but all I got was this lousy life-saver." If dogs could talk, that's what this sullen Bernese Mountain Dog would have said yesterday when she made the scene at 7th and Montana looking like a refugee from the S.S. Minnow. Rumor has it she was wearing an inflatable life-saver around her neck to prevent her from licking herself after surgery, but I know the real story. She was gearing-up for a trip to the 'poop deck' at 608 Georgina ...!</span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-86272138591927259532014-06-13T20:31:00.000-07:002014-06-13T20:31:41.463-07:00NO COMMON SCENTS ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipbCMfUz8BGAv_u_BEsAhybLbbsOVipLtyK2B34v7aNYjio7BiMKZQ8d-k1N0Y-viB3k5pfleXfoZHwMyRzVQHeAG2LObWY6fOIqW2pSOAb_FDlgdsjIMevf6GwmGALHt_974mqEU0sGY/s1600/Perfume.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipbCMfUz8BGAv_u_BEsAhybLbbsOVipLtyK2B34v7aNYjio7BiMKZQ8d-k1N0Y-viB3k5pfleXfoZHwMyRzVQHeAG2LObWY6fOIqW2pSOAb_FDlgdsjIMevf6GwmGALHt_974mqEU0sGY/s1600/Perfume.JPG" height="400" width="308" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">My nose for news was working overtime at 7th and Montana this morning, thanks to the arrival of a mysterious stranger wearing an even more mysterious perfume. Kathy was the first to notice it, and she wasted no time trying to identify its source. "You smell sweet," she said to Robin, who was standing nearby. Sweet was an understatement. It was the floral equivalent of a caramel-coated, sugar-frosted fudge ball. "It's not me," Robin whispered, "It's <em>him</em>." Sure enough, the smell was emanating from a man standing at the condiments bar. It followed him out the door like a cotton candy miasma. I don't know where this guy gets his fashion advice, but someone should tell him it's time to change the Chanel ...!</span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-51308817044197783942014-06-12T20:57:00.000-07:002014-06-12T20:57:34.432-07:00PILE-UP ... AT 7th AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhmG5AHqKBWjtB7T_xJf6nd7ao3TZkhRbXDIraSwsGM1jQrHdMtanz6D2xsCR2qQ7gf5pe_kZlUG55eb-DHgsNro6LclqO3ezQgIm5va6Q8rrU_4MkI1VHxKe3frolr8hBtT9xVp_n0to/s1600/crash.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhmG5AHqKBWjtB7T_xJf6nd7ao3TZkhRbXDIraSwsGM1jQrHdMtanz6D2xsCR2qQ7gf5pe_kZlUG55eb-DHgsNro6LclqO3ezQgIm5va6Q8rrU_4MkI1VHxKe3frolr8hBtT9xVp_n0to/s1600/crash.JPG" height="298" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">It was crash, boom, bam this morning at 7th and Montana as a three car pile-up blocked traffic near Our Favorite Starbucks. The problem began when a silver Cavalier screeched through a red light and took a left on Montana, leaving a trail of chaos in its wake. Other motorists slammed on the brakes. A Prius plowed into a truck and a Lexis plowed into the Prius. Fortunately, no one was injured. The driver who caused the incident was nowhere to be found.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">And that wasn't the only pile-up in town. Evidence is mounting in the local scandal known as Poop-Gate. Just who, exactly, has been leaving little bags of poop near the corner of 7th and Georgina? Stay tuned ...! </span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-45268945915519419902014-06-08T16:50:00.001-07:002014-06-08T16:50:41.432-07:00POTS AND PANTS ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixWOrHyIWm9aBCSO4vbOk3NAZTe0Ix-Urh2oqYrmUPXJAe2xyxuqDzhBY8SIAoTqolglDck2kESt88Z3SEuE7jBVjO7fMtJ-KT7wkrXMDKEbK-JCLDi0O2Snui0dM2wpYy7h9ZoDsQkws/s1600/foodpants.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixWOrHyIWm9aBCSO4vbOk3NAZTe0Ix-Urh2oqYrmUPXJAe2xyxuqDzhBY8SIAoTqolglDck2kESt88Z3SEuE7jBVjO7fMtJ-KT7wkrXMDKEbK-JCLDi0O2Snui0dM2wpYy7h9ZoDsQkws/s1600/foodpants.JPG" height="400" width="298" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Eyes were popping at 7th and Montana this morning as an Anonymous Newcomer made the scene wearing an outfit that gives new meaning to the term 'fashion plate.' She wore a pair of baggy pants that were festooned with plates, teapots and various bits of floating breakfast food. "Now there's some food for thought," said one witness. As for me, I admired her honesty. "Finally," I said, "Someone who really means it when she says that everything she eats goes straight to her ass ...!" </span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-72486201511451912282014-06-05T08:53:00.001-07:002014-06-05T08:53:39.411-07:00BLANKET COVERAGE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguwAHZ_58H5KQhaqK0h1siNPaZuxUOyKkpCtGQnFhQKrn3OO9i2QQytLWtie7B3xM8G1ftaGxcnpFr967zjWK2-dNeIfJlzedfPNDHZr6zCeh_U_2gcD1dAlQ60Ed63RMEeohJH8y1mjs/s1600/dogblanket.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguwAHZ_58H5KQhaqK0h1siNPaZuxUOyKkpCtGQnFhQKrn3OO9i2QQytLWtie7B3xM8G1ftaGxcnpFr967zjWK2-dNeIfJlzedfPNDHZr6zCeh_U_2gcD1dAlQ60Ed63RMEeohJH8y1mjs/s1600/dogblanket.JPG" height="400" width="298" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">It
was a cover-up of massive proportions at 7<sup>th</sup> and Montana yesterday as an Anonymous Loon
rolled his dog up in two blankets – like a Canine Burrito -- and placed it on
one of the only remaining chairs at Our Favorite Starbucks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Life is ruff,” I said, searching for a place
to sit, “Maybe I’ll just go crouch by the fire hydrant in case nature calls.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dog and owner, for their part, remained so motionless I wondered whether rigor mortis was setting in. Some say I should forget the whole thing, let sleeping dogs lie, but I think we need to draw the line somewhere. After all, if we allow this kind of behavior to persist, who knows what we'll see next ... Pigs in a Blanket?!?</span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-49433827399351631292014-06-01T14:30:00.000-07:002014-06-01T14:30:38.863-07:00TRASH TALK ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4aNVw4oBwFhqiAS-5kRbqa0ZKQRHWKUQsL8uOcVfR5LRMpA8kHm4XBRkI1U68KE1jC2CC_3XJ-K6CI4rnBbdJWgzfO_n6k-X5YAW-l2d-K1FhhjM_0-NU-od5WOoXumkc-IOC7ZjkVSY/s1600/Dumpster.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4aNVw4oBwFhqiAS-5kRbqa0ZKQRHWKUQsL8uOcVfR5LRMpA8kHm4XBRkI1U68KE1jC2CC_3XJ-K6CI4rnBbdJWgzfO_n6k-X5YAW-l2d-K1FhhjM_0-NU-od5WOoXumkc-IOC7ZjkVSY/s1600/Dumpster.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">The crowd at 7th and Montana was 'Down in the Dumps' this week as evidence mounted that the city's new recycling effort -- the installation of solar powered trash and recycling bins -- is a sham. Starting last year, Santa Monica spent a small fortune to install a series of Big Belly trash and recycling containers in highly-visible locations all over town. The concept is intriguing: You just put your recyclables in a solar -powered container, and they are automatically compacted and stored until the City can collect them. A built-in sensor even alerts the sanitation department when it's trash collection time. Kim Braun -- Santa Monica's resource recovery and recycling manager -- crowed about the program in media interviews last year: <a href="http://santamonica.patch.com/groups/going-green/p/solar-powered-trash-cans-talk-to-the-city">Solar Powered Trash Cans Talk to the City</a>. The only problem is, ever since these high-fallutin' trash cans were installed on Montana Avenue, witness after witness has seen the trash collectors mix recyclables with other trash and haul it all away together. One worker, when asked about it, simply said, "Sorry, we don't have the proper trash bags to actually recycle." Do town officials think we're all so Green that we won't notice a hoax when we see one? Or are they too busy doing media interviews on how Green we are to clean up their act ...? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-9781293796485380702014-05-26T12:03:00.001-07:002014-05-26T12:03:16.637-07:00HAT TRICK ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfK-8I8MZp65ix3TR0sDXCjG0izmxiZAMQaVIv5KunxbY710Vw8Pg3AinG2Tiv_ayw1T51VdB0I6kp_1Jt_FsFzd5GqDQkK3q0ODJCCNBnBK_1c61OM1U-JFZSyTqr9DscLoAqNxyd1iY/s1600/hatless.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfK-8I8MZp65ix3TR0sDXCjG0izmxiZAMQaVIv5KunxbY710Vw8Pg3AinG2Tiv_ayw1T51VdB0I6kp_1Jt_FsFzd5GqDQkK3q0ODJCCNBnBK_1c61OM1U-JFZSyTqr9DscLoAqNxyd1iY/s1600/hatless.JPG" height="400" width="298" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the Hatless Wonder, an anonymous member of the Table Hog clan who spent much of his weekend wondering where his hat was. He came by my table on Saturday, munching a banana, and looking like a lost soul. "Has anyone seen my hat?, he asked. There was something desperate in his tone, almost as if his hat had been in cahoots with his frontal lobe and, together, they'd flown the coop. "Finally," I thought, "A chance to win back at least one of the chairs he and his friends were hogging. "I saw it ... It went that-a-way!," I cried, pointing towards Peets. But he saw right through me and so did his friends. Hat's off to them, I guess ... </span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-70331098080479994352014-05-20T13:57:00.001-07:002014-05-20T13:57:39.119-07:00TOPIARY-GATE: THE SAGA CONTINUES!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAB67Osqao_XdPC8oOnUMDXoIPHBkcdSU1h3DR1g01kZa2eqY4hoWb0u0YRJvbpy9HuEjUbRS3t_qpd-Qh3WtUTdWI8QuW95VCnwYObJxRsed5-MTi6dSYse_TtV03tDz9_nHpGfXlyF0/s1600/Teepee.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAB67Osqao_XdPC8oOnUMDXoIPHBkcdSU1h3DR1g01kZa2eqY4hoWb0u0YRJvbpy9HuEjUbRS3t_qpd-Qh3WtUTdWI8QuW95VCnwYObJxRsed5-MTi6dSYse_TtV03tDz9_nHpGfXlyF0/s1600/Teepee.JPG" height="400" width="298" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Day 23 of the growing scandal known as Topiary-Gate has brought with it an interesting new twist. The topiaries, long abandoned on the sidewalk near 7th and Alta, have been thrown into the street and in their place is a Teepee of Schmutz. Evidently, the new owners of the fake Italian Villa have moved their dead plants onto the street in order to make way for a pile of broken plastic toys and branches. Where do these people come from, anyway, Upper Slob-ovia ...?!?</span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-37288682610760002012014-05-09T13:48:00.000-07:002014-05-09T13:48:00.486-07:00TOPIARY-GATE ... !<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhO2q2xfWNxb2f2a-Txj4DkiYMAykNB2yH1o4Y09jO7HDmA1Oin9h1ge1ZV7jNvVbRwbi0RvrfyhPSUS2hf3XWeDmwPrVO1yKigZjQn3bNSm_phVtJFB8Q-d-kEgyj7audrqB60xt_sxA/s1600/Topiary.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhO2q2xfWNxb2f2a-Txj4DkiYMAykNB2yH1o4Y09jO7HDmA1Oin9h1ge1ZV7jNvVbRwbi0RvrfyhPSUS2hf3XWeDmwPrVO1yKigZjQn3bNSm_phVtJFB8Q-d-kEgyj7audrqB60xt_sxA/s1600/Topiary.JPG" height="400" width="298" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">It's Day 12 and there's no relief in sight in the local scandal insiders are calling Topiary-gate. It seems like just yesterday that newcomers moved into the Fake Italian Villa near the corner of 7th and Alta. At first I thought, "Great, new neighbors, perhaps they'll put down some roots." But no. These people did the reverse. Shortly after their arrival, they uprooted a pair of decorative topiaries that once flanked their front door and tossed them onto the sidewalk for all of us to enjoy. 12 days later, the dead husks remain. I say we stage a protest. Let's take all the dead plants and uprooted weeds in a five block radius, throw them into a giant welcome wagon and wheel the whole mess into their front yard ...! </span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-25015484093602328652014-04-21T13:45:00.001-07:002014-04-21T13:45:48.685-07:00THE BUNNY MOBILE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHziGohCEHu1NJ3rmJwONVtm2eotFPUi-emjsTE0ZT9iiqDtUm-9MZfJiQxwagLHsFNpTcbCql4I69tvZe53bnPG3vzgSnq8vwB0cTE1WBK6PD2N2MhWB18OVnqPJLioIb8_mT59bLX_M/s1600/EasterMobile.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHziGohCEHu1NJ3rmJwONVtm2eotFPUi-emjsTE0ZT9iiqDtUm-9MZfJiQxwagLHsFNpTcbCql4I69tvZe53bnPG3vzgSnq8vwB0cTE1WBK6PD2N2MhWB18OVnqPJLioIb8_mT59bLX_M/s1600/EasterMobile.JPG" height="502" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Cheers erupted at 7th and Montana yesterday as an Anonymous Motorist circled the block in a pimped-out Bunny Mobile. The vintage, bright pink and purple Cadillac -- complete with tail fins and faux rocket boosters -- looked like something Peter Cottontail might use to cruise Sunset Strip. "Now that's what I call an Easter Parade," said one witness. Some say the driver, who drove past Our Favorite Starbucks twice, was just looking for attention, but I think his repeat visits were entirely appropriate. It was, after all, a day for Second Comings ...</span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-79584395370086753652014-04-19T13:12:00.000-07:002014-04-19T13:13:57.292-07:00YOU SAY GOODBYE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmnFhLh9-7yqp7_cI5xP8A17wU8D1nmxYbgRnb9oEpZf41IgZXttPwtUZhY891YNf9Y6vz_iplR2gTFEr6UjFjC55gch6IDGtoNlK1TbbjVz800rtih5yREDQFdkXFqiTF2jjrvx53gWs/s1600/Lennon.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmnFhLh9-7yqp7_cI5xP8A17wU8D1nmxYbgRnb9oEpZf41IgZXttPwtUZhY891YNf9Y6vz_iplR2gTFEr6UjFjC55gch6IDGtoNlK1TbbjVz800rtih5yREDQFdkXFqiTF2jjrvx53gWs/s1600/Lennon.JPG" height="478" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the Fool on the Hill, an anonymous musician who made the scene at 7th and Montana this morning with a message for us all and a medley of Beatles tunes in his heart. "Help!," I said, "Looks like this one has a John Lennon fixation." He rode in on a van festooned with conspiracy theories about John Lennon's death and carried signs promising to reveal the Truth. "So," I asked him as he strummed his guitar and sang an off-key rendition of 'All You Need is Love,' "What's with the Magical Mystery Tour?" "We're all Satanic," he cried, "You're Satanic; I'm Satanic; We're all a bunch of blood-sucking, Satanic vampires attracted to a vortex of Evil!" I glanced briefly at the pastry case and considered his theory, then backed away quietly. Sometimes it's best to just Let it Be ...</span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-46013721273771545712014-04-14T11:35:00.000-07:002014-04-14T11:35:04.059-07:00JUNGLE FEVER ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2JkmlvrTClJce1NY5f8iCkLq0ZtWU1c_vSXCM86G9PUucv5-2ODRjBo5ZKUsg21G2oDaZPA09cuXACXAOxa7SoTZuTunK_PXgaPlFuZN916SZb_T2zwRGjtiYqIzNROc76_rDQi39rkY/s1600/Lion.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2JkmlvrTClJce1NY5f8iCkLq0ZtWU1c_vSXCM86G9PUucv5-2ODRjBo5ZKUsg21G2oDaZPA09cuXACXAOxa7SoTZuTunK_PXgaPlFuZN916SZb_T2zwRGjtiYqIzNROc76_rDQi39rkY/s1600/Lion.JPG" height="400" width="318" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">It's a jungle out there, folks, and if you don't believe me, just ask the pair of Stone Lions that made the scene this morning in front of Our Favorite Starbucks. I wasn't there for the mane event, but rumor has it a very confused delivery man was circling the block all morning looking for the lost Library of Alexandria. He was close, but no cigars. The parchment in Alexandria went up in flames more than 2,000 years ago. The parchment at 7th and Montana has been cleverly protected for years in its own, special display case ...</span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-7744008349368147162014-04-13T16:13:00.000-07:002014-04-13T16:13:23.365-07:00A TOUCH OF HEAVEN ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3ZdFCL_wbd2e8ko1KR9-kMgLyB2pplLqE-Hl_e0YFctKn-Ai5Tse7eID2m5eiFPYq-vEfq3OLUWaaZBMExduo8Ef8xRkaWQbRBsOsCqmHZdP1teskHnVVXWMKiSMp0YU_oD_NboDvWUE/s1600/Wingnut.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3ZdFCL_wbd2e8ko1KR9-kMgLyB2pplLqE-Hl_e0YFctKn-Ai5Tse7eID2m5eiFPYq-vEfq3OLUWaaZBMExduo8Ef8xRkaWQbRBsOsCqmHZdP1teskHnVVXWMKiSMp0YU_oD_NboDvWUE/s1600/Wingnut.JPG" height="400" width="298" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Eyes were popping at 7th and Montana this morning as an Anonymous Wing-nut made the scene wearing a pair of wings and a fuzzy halo. The Wing-nut, an attractive young woman in her early twenties, breezed into Starbucks during the morning rush, flitted briefly around the pastry case like an Angel of Mercy, then disappeared faster than you can say Morning Bun. Some say she was heaven sent, but I know the real truth: She's just another escapee from the Aviary at 7th and Margarita ...!</span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-25889998025834558062014-04-08T17:36:00.001-07:002014-04-08T17:36:23.212-07:00A LOON AGAIN, NATURALLY ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7VL6q_G3EEOyennxQM3kVz-Xz_Ext9qHa2t7Ir-t8WhJg-ASaxfSapS6f9rnf2t5Ng3u463bbRd-05hdrBFkXAXWmNSQwwCaVe-EzON89JfgByNQVnkjnTFw7WIPRzUz2ys30y0ONyfM/s1600/NewLoon.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7VL6q_G3EEOyennxQM3kVz-Xz_Ext9qHa2t7Ir-t8WhJg-ASaxfSapS6f9rnf2t5Ng3u463bbRd-05hdrBFkXAXWmNSQwwCaVe-EzON89JfgByNQVnkjnTFw7WIPRzUz2ys30y0ONyfM/s1600/NewLoon.JPG" height="400" width="298" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Quick, call National Geographic: A new species of Loon made the scene at 7th and Montana yesterday and this time it's one for the history books. Meet Loonius Montanicus, a particularly noteworthy specimen characterized by its green stripes, crossed eyes and peculiar taste in pastry. "You look a little green around the gills," I said, "Let me guess, Maple Scone?" "No," mumbled the Loon, "Cake Pop." And there you have it. Only a Loon of stupendous proportions would take such a risk ...! </span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-40815157801388882102014-03-30T16:17:00.000-07:002014-03-30T16:17:21.238-07:00SUPER-CALI-FRAGI-LISTIC-EXPI-ALA-TASER ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF9We6nUpN9ksI5E8ENAFjNrvLWbLUFfU0reS33d7k5PDeEzyj7rF9HFtGqV1kmlQluHBLrP8UOZAQp0snWrjh-DbaUq-pyv0wzk02PBq5dJ4hnjKgrIY2IrsLDdJGDt-1ix4SbcFufFE/s1600/Poppins.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF9We6nUpN9ksI5E8ENAFjNrvLWbLUFfU0reS33d7k5PDeEzyj7rF9HFtGqV1kmlQluHBLrP8UOZAQp0snWrjh-DbaUq-pyv0wzk02PBq5dJ4hnjKgrIY2IrsLDdJGDt-1ix4SbcFufFE/s1600/Poppins.JPG" height="400" width="298" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Ladies and Gentlemen, make way for Mary Poopins, a fashionable matron who floated down 7th Street this morning on the wings of her umbrella. Never mind that it was a beautiful, cloudless morning, "Mary" clutched her umbrella like a little old lady clinging to her diamonds. Some say she was just avoiding the sun, but I think she was secretly hoping for another crew from TMZ to come along. After all, the last time someone brandished an umbrella at Our Favorite Starbucks they ended-up getting a lot of publicity ...</span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-55782091841057586512014-03-25T00:55:00.000-07:002014-03-25T00:55:46.598-07:00POLITICS, POLITICS ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4LwLJ3KgHjfIo0xXrWxYfyZPW-fI1PtunE64w6uZ4ig5HHrXh-Fn-ObnzLziPmrIilRkiAkKkLYgjxAe2wV6_mExvXAolvETV_m7Xcc8arOGI8LCC_Tsyux0azOYjHEg1hDq9Q3e4_DM/s1600/vote3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4LwLJ3KgHjfIo0xXrWxYfyZPW-fI1PtunE64w6uZ4ig5HHrXh-Fn-ObnzLziPmrIilRkiAkKkLYgjxAe2wV6_mExvXAolvETV_m7Xcc8arOGI8LCC_Tsyux0azOYjHEg1hDq9Q3e4_DM/s1600/vote3.JPG" height="400" width="298" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Eyes were popping at 7th and Montana yesterday as a candidate running for local office practiced his campaign speech on me and Genevieve. "Howdy," he said, "Mind if I run my statement by you?" He cleared his throat, waved a piece of paper in the air, and began reciting the lyrics to that popular children's tune, "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes ... Knees and Toes!" By the time he got to "eyes and nose and mouth and ears," I knew something was terribly wrong. "What do you think?," he asked. I answered quickly before he could launch into another chorus. "I'd say you're head and shoulders above the rest, not to mention knees and toes!" Genevieve noted that he'll be facing some pretty stiff competition. "Yes," I agreed, "I hear her speech will draw heavily on the Hokey Pokey." I could see his mind at work, almost like the wheels on the bus that go round and round. "I have to run," he said, "Whether I win or not, it's the right thing to do!" As for me, I learned an important lesson: Sometimes a stump speech can leave you competely stumped ...! </span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-78773901633971910482014-03-24T00:50:00.000-07:002014-03-24T00:50:47.455-07:00FARM HAND ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZe_Uu5XgpSTI6uvmNav_Swe4KFluGDbNWGGSoQzXF5iCc5HgOGvPHM7d42DlmvVlMtzYNS8WwdfajXD_2BhKdWJJxAQCISV5I_Jy57bwRF9azCQ3ig1_VYhVqZxFOnjXoUTDsf9WD4CM/s1600/TreeJPG.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZe_Uu5XgpSTI6uvmNav_Swe4KFluGDbNWGGSoQzXF5iCc5HgOGvPHM7d42DlmvVlMtzYNS8WwdfajXD_2BhKdWJJxAQCISV5I_Jy57bwRF9azCQ3ig1_VYhVqZxFOnjXoUTDsf9WD4CM/s1600/TreeJPG.JPG" height="400" width="301" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">It was a bumper crop at 7th and Montana yesterday as an Anonymous Loon spent the morning quietly plucking fruits and nuts from the trees surrounding our Favorite Starbucks. The 'Farm Hand,' a man in his early sixties, looked like a cross between Juan Valdez and Captain Kangaroo, but don't let that fool you. He was stealthier than both of them combined. He snuck up to a tree near the 'parking lot from hell,' looked around to make sure no one was watching, then quickly snatched dozens of loquats, passing them one-by-one to a faithful assistant who stood nearby with a basket. "There are some very interesting mushrooms growing on the Eucalyptus Trees on 7th," I said, "And I bet they'd be perfect in a Risotto!" I don't think he'll be back ...</span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3473567706084397230.post-77030417463046727272014-03-11T17:12:00.000-07:002014-03-11T17:12:12.750-07:00COFFEE, TEA OR TASER ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC9VUDVSyrL1QhXZat-kSmCx9gb8nShmdrJnrtJmerewGd9PJ-MV-lgQxvOMNNtIrsr0GgcUj_wve-nwydyKCyj1MwHDSo6ZALlJSFULuHVpL9vr4nk2UYX7RHbQdaI4T3kx4QE53eLx0/s1600/Taser.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC9VUDVSyrL1QhXZat-kSmCx9gb8nShmdrJnrtJmerewGd9PJ-MV-lgQxvOMNNtIrsr0GgcUj_wve-nwydyKCyj1MwHDSo6ZALlJSFULuHVpL9vr4nk2UYX7RHbQdaI4T3kx4QE53eLx0/s1600/Taser.jpg" height="358" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">I may be on the road, but it's nice to know that it's business as usual at 7th and Montana. Apparently, TMZ has stepped-in to report the day-to-day occurrences at Our Favorite Starbucks in my absence. In case you haven't heard, they just filed this report -- <a href="http://www.tmz.com/2014/03/11/santa-monica-police-man-umbrella-taser-video/">Umbrella-Wielding Man versus Taser </a><a href="http://m.tmz.com/2014/03/11/santa-monica-police-man-umbrella-taser-video/"> </a>-- about a man who made the scene last night intent on using one of the sidewalk umbrellas as a deadly weapon. Police were on the scene within minutes, tasered him into submission and brought him to the hospital for mental evaluation. Whoever he is, I hope he's OK. As for the police, I can't help wondering -- as TMZ did -- whether they used excessive force. If the authorities went around tasering every oddball at 7th and Montana, half the customers would be aglow ...</span>Martyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05696228344180197628noreply@blogger.com1