We all know that L.A. is a car culture, but local expert Dennis took the concept to a new extreme this morning at Starbucks. People, he says, are just living, breathing automobiles or "internal combustion engines." Lord knows some of us are more full of gas than others ... and we've all seen our share of drivers blow a gasket at 7th and Montana!
What would you do if someone implied that you looked like Bill Gates? Laugh? Run to the nearest plastic surgeon? Head to the bank to make a quick withdrawal? Such was my challenge this afternoon when I was introduced to a certain Hollywood mogul as "Bill Gates, Jr." Gee, Pop, let's play another round of Monopoly!
Just when you think nothing can surprise you, urine for a real shock. Yes, friends, someone left a genuine glass of urine in my office last night (see photographic re-enactments for more detail). Was it the accident-prone Piddle King down the hall, the evening cleaning crew or was someone just plain pissed off at us? I don't know and neither does our Building Security Guard who could barely hold in his laughter. If you have any ideas or information, feel free to send me your analysis of the situation.
It was a veritable demolition derby this morning at our favorite intersection as one car after another hit the curb with a resounding clunk. Said one senior parking lot official, "Efforts to widen our curb have been completely deflated."
With all the porta-potties in Starbuck's back yard these days, it seems only natural that toilet humor should reign supreme at 7th and Montana. Kathy wins today's prize for discovering a booming business in doggie waste disposal. It seems a company called Doody Calls has been making the rounds door-to-door in Santa Monica offering the latest in pet waste removal services. Their motto? "When Nature Calls, We Answer." I guess Andy Gump will just have to make doo.
In local news today, Santa Monica resident Richard Stone remains missing amidst reports of an upset in local politics. Last seen on Tuesday, the popular reform candidate vowed to create a new level of transparency in local election procedures. Inside sources at 7th and Montana, however, fear that enemy forces may have co-opted this week's election results and made Richard, himself, transparent.
If it's a dog's life, where do I sign up? Meet "Stella," the latest addition to the 7th and Montana crowd. Stella, an adorable Pug, hasn't let her recovery from surgery stop her from making her daily Starbucks run. Instead, she has been chauffeured each morning to and from Starbucks in her own personal wagon (pictured here). Gives one paws, eh ...?
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