UNICORN, AHOY ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet "the Unicorn," a mystical creature who made the scene at 7th and Montana this morning wearing a ponytail that hung over the front of his head. "Good God," I said, whipping out my Spycam, "He has his head on backwards." And that wasn't the only hairy thing going on. He spent the morning flitting from trash can to trash can like a demented butterfly, collecting the dregs from other people's used coffee cups to create a brew all his own, a drink I like to call the Deadly Strepto-coccocinno. I've never tried it myself, but I hear it's "Good to the Last Drop ...!"

MR. TRANSISTOR MEETS HIS MATCH ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Sparks were flying at 7th and Montana this morning as "Mr. Transistor," the man known for blaring his transistor radio for all to hear, made a new friend. An Unwitting German Tourist, finding that there were no other seats available, sat at his table. He smiled at her, switched off his radio and turned up the volume on what quickly became a heated debate. As near as I can tell, Mr. Transistor expressed his frustration that so many "foreigners" are getting into the United States while at the same time stealing American jobs right out from under our very noses. The more he talked, the more upset the German Tourist became until finally she said, "Ach, this conversation is over!" She grabbed her bike, loaded it onto a bus and disappeared, leaving Mr. Transistor in the dust. He tried to chase after her, sputtering all the way, but by that point it was too late. The tourist was on her way to Pacific Palisades. I can't say as I blame her. He was giving her more static than a transistor radio ...!

"EXCLUSIVE" UPDATE ... ?!?

Another update from Last Night's Event: I was surprised to see in some of the reports this morning from last night's event that a photo and caption ran over the wires of me and Kathy, positioned as "Exclusive Coverage." It's part of a whole set of photos from the reception prior to last night's award program: VIP Reception Coverage. And if you think this is news, just remember, folks, there are plenty more World Exclusives where this one came from. The corner of 7th and Montana is full of them ...!

AND ME WITHOUT MY SPYCAM ...!

It was Hollywood meets the U.K. tonight at the British Academy of Film and Television Arts' annual Britannia Awards and -- for the first time at any Hollywood event -- I didn't have my Spycam on me. You see, the event invitation was specific: "No cell phones or cameras allowed." Since I was representing my company, I didn't want to create a scene. So, there I was, together with Kathy, surrounded by celebrities but without my trusty Spycam. Not only were the award winners -- Betty White, Jeff Bridges, Tony and Ridley Scott, Michael Sheen and Chris Nolan -- milling about, but tons of other Hollywood heavyweights were there as well, including Kevin Spacey, Dakota Fanning, Valerie Bertinelli and Wendie Malick. At one point, Producer Harvey Weinstein whipped out his cell phone and I was tempted to knock it out of his hands. Then he yelled "Hey, Frenchie!" across the room and Actress Marion Cotillard came over and gave him a big hug. By far, the funniest line of the evening, however, came from Bette White, who won the Charlie Chaplin Award for Excellence in Comedy. After delivering a heartwarming acceptance speech, she held the statue aloft and said, "No matter what you've heard, Chuck Chaplin and I never had a relationship." Then she kissed the statue and added, "Well, maybe one time ...!" Wire photos from the event can be found here: Britannia Awards. The ceremony airs Sunday night on the TV Guide Network.

BAH, HUMBUG ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Yule never guess what happened this morning at 7th and Montana: Christmas arrived. Yes, it's true. Starbucks is ringing-in -- and ringing-up -- the holidays with the return of the Peppermint Frappuccino, the Gingerbread Latte and the Egg Nog Latte. "Oh, Joy," said one insider, "Now the only thing left to wish for is Peace on Earth and Goodwill towards Men!" "Not to worry," I replied, "Starbucks will deliver that, too ... for a price." Indeed, between now and January anyone who buys a warm beverage gets a snazzy, new holiday message on their cup: "I talked to a stranger once over coffee ... we're not strangers any longer." I defy the folks at Starbucks headquarters to put this message to the test at 7th and Montana. Something tells me they could yak all day with some of the characters at Our Favorite Starbucks and they'd still be just as strange ...!

A BRIEF, COMMERCIAL INTERRUPTION ...

I usually don't like to mix work-related topics with my blog, but I was involved in an event yesterday that was so cool I thought it was worth mentioning here. Director James Cameron joined us at a special event to give an insider's perspective on why he likes Blu-ray. Even for someone like me, who has been talking about Blu-ray for years, his remarks were inspiring. "I love Blu-ray," he said, "It's the image quality, it's the color, it's the quality control, it's everything about the image that's so vibrant." He also gave us a sneak peek at some new Avatar footage he's created that will appear on the upcoming Blu-ray collector's edition of Avatar. The whole thing had me a-twitter, literally: I used my Spycam to twitter from the event to my company's news blog, proving once and for all that a Spycam can be used for good as well as evil ...!

THE WOOKIE'S GUIDE TO ETTIQUETTE!

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet "Chewie," the delightful young woman with table manners from a Galaxy Far, Far Away. I met Chewie this afternoon at the "lunch counter" at Whole Foods in Beverly Hills. She was eating a bran muffin the way Foghorn Leghorn eats an ear of corn: one tiny kernel at a time. She slowly, painstakingly pinched one crumb after another from the top of her muffin, then chewed each piece separately at least 32 times. I pointed my Spycam at her and took her picture, only to realize with a shock that I hadn't put it on mute. A loud camera shutter went off right in her ear. She looked at me. "Oops," I said, trying to cover my tracks, "I never can get this silly thing to work right. Don't you just hate crummy merchandise?" She completely ignored me. I guess one person's crummy is another person's crumby ...!