SEPARATED AT BIRTH ...?

They jog together.  They swim together.  They work out together.  But most of all, they hit 7th and Montana together every morning.  So, it should come as no surprise that the crew at Starbucks has dubbed our favorite fitness buffs Leah and Karenina simply "the Twins."  At least that's what they write on their coffee cups and, as we all know, if it's on a Starbucks coffee cup, it must be true.  Speaking of which, Starbucks is on the hunt for new quotes to put on its coffee cups:  The Way I See It.  Unless anyone has a better idea, I'm going to submit the following:  "If you are what you drink, I'm a Grande Drip." 

GOODBYE PUDDLES, HELLO DORIS

In local news this morning, Santa Monica residents were aghast at reports that Puddles the Tortoise is missing.  The beloved pet -- an African Sulcutta measuring approximately 7.5" long by 3.5" high -- was last seen wandering aimlessly in the alley between San Vicente and Georgina, by 7th Street.  Insiders suspect foul play.  In an unrelated development, the new staff at Starbucks was in the soup yesterday as they mistakenly identified 7th and Montana diehard Joyce as "Doris."  What would Puddles say?  

ABOUT ME ...

People have been asking lately, "Who is this martygord?" and, since we're among friends here, who am I to disappoint?  I'm really just a simple man who likes the simple things in life.  After a brief stint -- several years -- in jail, I went to the dentist for a few root canals without novocaine.  You see, as a recovering drug addict, I eschew pain killers of any kind.  Oh -- I almost forgot -- I'm also a widower.  My wife hung herself from the rafters last night.  I could go on sharing a million little details of my life, but in the interest of time let me refer you to my new bestseller:  "My Life Only More Marketable."  Available wherever fine books are sold.  Seriously, way to go Oprah for throwing the book at author James Frey.  The crowd at 7th and Montana applauds you!

MORE SUNDANCE PHOTOS ...

Here's another batch of photos from our Sundance celebrity lounge.  Catherine Bell (Photo #1), DB Sweeney (Photo #2) and Kevin Sorbo (Photo #3) all checked out the new Blu-ray Disc technology.  According to DB, one of his movies (Dinosaur), will be among the first on Blu-ray from Disney.  Photos are courtesy of Photowire.

EUREKA ... ANOTHER MYSTERY SOLVED!

I'm sure anyone who caught my post on December 14th -- THINGS YOU'LL NEVER SEE ON 7TH AND MONTANA ... -- was just as curious as I was regarding the contents of that ill-fated Bento Box I suffered through in Tsukuba City.  Well, friends, I just had lunch at Joss Restaurant near my office on Sunset and, lo and behold, there it was again.  That slimy yet crunchy, porous vegetable is commonly called a Lotus Chip.  Experts say "it makes a wonderful, thick dessert soup that is known for preventing diarrhea while increasing one's appetite."  Tune in tomorrow when we explain the difference between the Lotus Chip and the Buffalo Chip!

FROM SHOOTING STARS TO SHOOTING BLANKS ...

As promised, here are the first of the professional photos from my trip to Sundance.  Photo #1 depicts Actress Sally Field experimenting with Near-Field Communication technology.  Photo #2 depicts Actor Wilmer Valderrama easing his way from "that '70s technology" to a nifty MP3 player.  Photo #3 depicts our hospitality lounge during a lull.  All photos are courtesy of Photowire.  Meanwhile, back on 7th and Montana, Starbucks regular David reminisced this morning about his first and only trip to Park City (a local resident fired a blank at his rental car, nearly driving him off the road) and our Favorite Building Manager revealed that he is a former Green Beret.  Personally, I'll stick to shooting pictures!

GOODBYE SUNDANCE, HELLO SUNSHINE ...!

It was a whirlwind week of pressing the flesh in Park City, but I finally made it back to 7th and Montana in one piece this morning.  As much fun as it was -- meeting everyone from Tommy Lee, Rob Lowe, Lance Bass, Crispin Glover, the Police (yes, the band, they swung by our lounge), Alexis Bledel and dozens more who I should have heard of -- it was high time to wing it back to Santa Monica.  Frankly, I'll take our little corner of the world, anytime.  I guess I'm just a Grande Drip at Heart!