A TOAST TO THE NEW YEAR ...!

It was a joyous toast to the New Year for everyone but Howard this morning as his bagel was once again less than perfectly toasted.  While rumor has it that his search for the Perfect Toaster went up in smoke yesterday, inside sources report that the Black & Decker TR0870 Toaster is on sale at Sears for $39.88.  Better hurry, Howard, or your chances of landing one of these beauties might just be toast ...!

STARBUCKING THE TREND ...?!?

Whoever said "You can never be too rich, too thin or have too many Starbucks locations in a single block" was slightly off base.  The latest rumor -- according to newbie Starbucks Manager Gabriel  -- is that the Deidrich's at Lincoln and Montana will remain vacant for several months, following which it will be converted into yet another Starbucks.  Deidrich's officially closes its doors on January 2.

MISTAKEN IDENTITY AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

It was a clear case of identity theft at Starbucks this morning as Kovar "inadvertently" grabbed a latte that was intended for someone named "Jo."  The good news is that -- with just a little investigative elbow grease -- I was able to track down the real "Jo."  The bad news is that he's evidently not very happy with Kovar (see Photo #2) ...!

THAT'S OFFICER MEANIE TO YOU ...!

Neighborhood Newshound Dennis was fit to be tied this morning as a certain evil police officer evidently tried to block his every move when he tried parking near 7th and Montana.  Poor Dennis was so angry he called police headquarters to report the incident.  Good luck, Dennis.  Let's hope Santa Monica's finest don't lock you up and throw away the key!

FORMER PRESIDENTS AND RESIDENTS ...!

There I was at 7th and Montana this morning, expressing sadness at the passing of President Ford, when Neighborhood Newshound Dennis brought me up-to-speed on what the former President was really like.  Evidently, he was really like-able.  Not only that, but his son used to hang out at 7th and Montana every day.  I, for one, wish he still hung out here.  Lord knows we could use a little extra security!

MEET MR. STOGIE ...!

You meet all kinds on "the early shift" at 7th and Montana.  Take "Mr. Stogie," for example.  The pick of the litter at Starbucks this morning, Mr. Stogie pulled up a chair, picked up a Stogie and began puffing away to beat the band (photo #1).  Just as I was about to call the police, he set his cigar aside and began vigorously picking his nose (photo #2).  My reaction?  I beat a hasty retreat before he began picking anything else ...!

DEALING CRACK AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...?

It may be Christmas, but 7th and Montana felt more like a crack den than a holiday haven this morning as one person after another exposed the neighborhood to their butt crack.  What are these people thinking?!?  Take the woman pictured here, for example.  No doubt her brains -- not to mention her sense of good taste -- are in her behind.  Thank God I didn't get a zoom lens for Christmas ...!