THE LATEST "DUTCH TREAT" ...!

Whoever said "Candy is Dandy, but Liquor is Quicker" has never been to the Netherlands.  Leave it to the Dutch to come up with "Wine Gums," a new taste sensation that presumably offers a cross between gummy bears and vintage wine.  The sheer variety of colors suggests that Wine Gums come in an assortment of flavors ranging from Merlot to Chardonnay!  

SHMENDRIK AT 30,000 FEET ...!

You can run, but you can't hide from the Shmendriks of this world.  There I was, minding my own business on United Flight #946 to Amsterdam when they guy sitting next to me quietly stole my "amenity" kit (the little package they give you with a toothbrush and etc.).  Naturally, my response was to "snap" at him as I took photo after photo of him trying to make a quick getaway.  I have half a mind to report him to the authorities at Schiphol Airport!

SCHOOL DAZE AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...

Class was in session yesterday at 7th and Montana as Genevieve shared the latest lessons she's learned at the School of Hard Knocks, where she evidently teaches.  Bureaucrats continue to make her life difficult.  Hang in there Genevieve.  Meanwhile, Quinn has found the Quintessential new job teaching Second Grade at Roosevelt.  Congratulations, Quinn!  

STARBUCKING THE TREND ...!

"Hi Neighbor ... We look forward to serving you very soon."  That was the sign adorning the new Starbucks in progress at Lincoln and Montana.  Given that Starbucks employees speak their own tongue, an insider gave me the following translation: "Greetings, Earth Peon ... We are taking over.  If you resist, we will roast you like a coffee bean and serve you up to some unsuspecting chump.  Have a nice day!"

MANY HAPPY RETURNS AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

Despite today's cool temperatures, it was a warm welcome back for a Perfectly Toasted Howard who made the scene this morning with Cathy, Zoey and a Perfectly Toasted Bagel.  Welcome Back, Howard!  Fabrizio, meanwhile, is counting the hours until Terry returns from Africa.  According to Fabrizio, Terry returns in "several hours" (meaning Monday).  Popular consensus is that Fabrizio is running low on provisions ...!

ACHES & PAINS FOR ALL OCCASIONS ...!

The early morning shift at 7th and Montana today went from chronic to moronic as a table full of bellyachers complained loudly about every conceivable ache and pain.  I beat a hasty retreat ... but not before Dennis informed me that our "Noteworthy Newcomer" seems to be suffering from an illness of another kind.  Dennis, who had an opportunity to read through the "mystery notebook," says it is filled with maniacal ramblings ...

INVESTIGATIVE REPORT: OUR FAVORITE BUILDING MANAGER

Don't file a "missing persons report" just yet.  Casual inquiries at 7th and Montana suggest that Our Favorite Building Manager has moved on to greener pastures, though no one seems to know exactly what pastures would be greener than sitting at Starbucks all day.  Something tells me he'll resurface with a vengeance ...!