BABY NEW YEAR AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

                   

Good News, Folks:  Baby New Year is alive and well ... and working behind the cash register at Our Favorite Starbucks.  As proof, I offer the following exchange: 

New Cashier:  What's this?!?

Me:  It's a penny.

New Cashier:  Are you sure?  It has something funny on it.

Me:  Oh, it's a Wheat Penny.  I haven't seen one of those in a while.

New Cashier:  A What Penny?

Me:  Not a What Penny, a Wheat Penny.  They stopped making them in the '70s.

New Cashier:  Oh, the '70s ...!!

And then it struck me.  To her, the '70s is a distant epoch, something you study in history class, like the Paleolithic or Pleistocene era.  Later, as I watched the final sunset of the year at Santa Monica State Beach, I hatched a Devious Plan for the New Year.  Tomorrow, I'm bringing a fistful of useless Dutch Guilders with me to Starbucks and I'm going to tell the cashier they're special Silver Dollars salvaged from the wreck of a ship that sank in 1962 ...!

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A PANAMANIAC IN OUR MIDST ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

                             

Kathy regaled the crowd at 7th and Montana this morning with tales from her holiday in Panama.  While she had a great time -- canopying across the rain forest, suspended by a rope and harness over waterfalls in a torrential downpour -- the flight home transformed the normally Happy-go-Lucky traveler into a Virtual Panamaniac.  The fun began at customs in Mexico City, where she had to change planes.  "On the way there, it was simple, I just hopped from one gate to the other," she said.  "But on the way back it was a nightmare."  Not only did Mexican Customs Officials put her through the ringer, they made her go back and forth across the airport so many times she missed her flight and had to be re-routed through Mazatlan.  Indeed, Mexico City Airport is notorious.  Maybe -- before Kathy's next visit -- we should suggest they set up a rope and harness system to get her from one end of the airport to the other ...!

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SOPHIA AND THE AMBER SPYGLASS ...!

                             

Sophia, everyone's Favorite Australian Bearded Dragon, was lost in a good book today at 7th and Montana.  Her reading material of choice -- The Amber Spyglass -- is the third in Author Philip Pullman's award-winning, coming-of-age trilogy about two children who wander through a series of parallel universes.  While Sophia appeared to find the book "gripping," I suspect she'd prefer an Amber Spyglass full of Live Crickets ...!

A NEW LOOK FOR THE NEW YEAR ... AT OUR FAVORITE FIXER UPPER!

                  

Change was in the air this morning at Our Favorite Fixer Upper as a work crew arrived on the scene, intent on beginning a badly-needed renovation.  "You won't recognize this place when we're done," said the Construction Supervisor, "We're doing major repairs and reconstruction.  We'll be done next week!"  The home in question -- at the corner of 7th and Alta -- achieved notoriety several years ago when it was purchased for $1.7 million by a would-be investor, presumably as a "tear down."  However, rather than tearing it down, the new owner simply abandoned the property, leaving it to the elements.  In the space of a few short years, the home subsequently suffered every indignity imaginable:  The Santa Monica Police Department accidentally used it for target practice, leaving a gaping hole in the roof;  An enterprising high school student broke-in, turning the home into his very own "Love Shack;" and a Homeless Man took up residence, burning the floorboards for firewood and transforming the master bedroom into a makeshift toilet.  Today's news that the home is finally being renovated was greeted with skepticism locally.  Said one area resident, "Forget the work crew, what that place needs is a Wrecking Ball ...!"

FROM 7TH AND MONTANA TO KILIMANJARO ...!

                             

The crowd at 7th and Montana rejoiced this morning on news that Ace Photographer Kovar is moving up in the world.  A new assignment will take him to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro next month to film a documentary.  "I've got a list of things I need to bring with me," he said, "starting with a pair of waterproof boots."  Kovar also intends to bring a piece of 7th and Montana with him.  Based on the advice of his producers -- who suggested he bring an Empty Receptacle to urinate in -- Kovar plans to pack a "to go" cup from Starbucks, signed by his friends at 7th and Montana.  Knowing how much these cups tend to dribble, I suggested he consider investing in a Commuter Mug, instead, but Kovar wouldn't hear of it.  I guess he didn't want to piss away his money ...!

THE SEEDY SIDE OF 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

                             

It was Many Happy Returns at 7th and Montana this morning as Terry and Fabrizio made the scene fresh from their season in Tuscany.  Known as the Ultimate Cultivated Couple, Terry and Fabrizio split their time between homes in Florence and Santa Monica.  This year, however, they're cultivating in more ways than one as Terry presented Bob and Joyce with packets of Italian seeds for their patch in the "Community Garden."  This year's harvest will include tomatoes, onions and zucchini from Italy.  Welcome Home, Terry and Fabrizio.  Your roots may be in Italy but it's nice to have you back at 7th and Montana ...!

NOT A CREATURE WAS STIRRING ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

                   

Not a creature was stirring coffee or anything else at 7th and Montana today as the "Powers that Be" closed Our Favorite Starbucks for the Holiday.  Like many others, I was forced to walk an entire block -- a full 138 steps -- to the next Starbucks.  Frankly, I've always found this "other" Starbucks to be something of a No Man's Land.  Today, however, it was filled with Traitors, regulars like me who made the Exodus from 7th and Montana.  As if to pacify us, Starbucks played Classic Christmas Carols and handed out cups with the following message:  "A good way to pass the cheer when you're on the road is to pay the toll for the car behind you.  Do this and you might start to look at stoplights as holiday lights instead.  Red means stop and be thankful for a moment.  Green means go out and do nice things."  I think I'll stick with the Starbucks at 7th and Montana where "red" means angry and "green" means there's a good chance you've smashed your car into the Curb from Hell.  Merry Christmas, Everyone ...!

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