GRAND THEFT NEWSPAPER ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

                             

Stop the press!  A scandal was brewing at 7th and Montana this morning as word spread that an Anonymous Nogoodnik has been stealing newspapers from Our Favorite Starbucks.  Inside Sources report that the Nogoodnik-in-Question -- pictured here -- routinely "sneaks" into Starbucks, grabs a copy of The Los Angeles Times when he thinks no one is looking, and high-tails it to another cafe, where he spends the rest of the morning reading at his leisure.  "He's sly, but we're onto him," said one witness.  "One of these days we're going to catch him in the act."  Meanwhile, the Nogoodnik was last seen this morning hopping on a bicycle (presumably his own) and pedaling towards the 7-Eleven on Wilshire ...! 

PROMISES, PROMISES AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

                             

Tongues were wagging at 7th and Montana this morning as details emerged regarding the recent, three-hour "Espresso Training" course at Our Favorite Starbucks.  Apparently, as part of a corporate-wide training initiative, 7,100 Starbucks locations were closed on Tuesday from 5:30 to 9:00 p.m. in order for Starbucks management to instruct 135,000 workers on the Fine Art of Espresso Making.  Baristas were encouraged to "make sure it takes between 15-19 seconds for each Espresso shot to pour from the machine so it comes out dripping like honey from a spoon."  Following the training, every Barista signed a "Promise" that now hangs prominently on display behind the Espresso Machine:  "Your Drink Should be Perfect, Every Time.  If Not, Let Us Know and We'll Make it Right."  Rumor has it that the training cost Starbucks an estimated $50 million.  That's a lot of Promises, dripping off a lot of tongues across the country like so much honey from a spoon ...!

STATING THE OBVIOUS AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

                        

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Mr. Obvious, the latest newcomer on the scene at 7th and Montana.  While I don't know Mr. Obvious personally, at first I was convinced he was talking to me this morning when he walked right up to me and said loudly, "Either he's going to do something, or he's not."  Just as I was preparing to agree wholeheartedly (afterall, what is there to disagree with?), it became clear that he was talking to someone else through an almost invisible microphone sticking out of his right ear.  "Like I said," he repeated, "Either he's going to do something, or he's not."  At the risk of stating the Obvious, it's getting harder and harder lately to tell the people who talk into wireless mouthpieces apart from Babbling Psychopaths.  I'd point this out to Mr. Obvious, but something tells me he'd either listen or he wouldn't ...!

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_2

ALL WHIPPED UP AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

 

Barista Robb was more whipped up than one of his double-foam cappuccinos this morning as an Ornery Customer with an Attitude made a scene at Our Favorite Starbucks.  The fun began when the Customer-in-Question, a woman described by witnesses as "an Evil Munchkin," began giving another customer a tough time before starting-in on Robb.  Poor Robb.  If it's any consolation, I couldn't help noticing last week that the Baristas in Tokyo have similar problems on their hands.  On Friday, an Obvious Maniac with a Winnie-the-Pooh Fixation (pictured above) settled-in for the duration at the Starbucks at Shinagawa Station ...!

PLAYING THROUGH AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

                             

The "Country Club" atmosphere at 7th and Montana took on a whole new meaning this morning when an Anonymous Bogeyman carrying a set of Golf Clubs arrived on the scene.  "Maybe he just wants to play through," said Screenwriter Mark as the Would-be Golfer grabbed his Golf Bag and trudged his way up 7th Street.  For my part, I took the incident in stride.  Given the cast of characters who frequent Our Favorite Starbucks, the sight of an Anonymous Bogeyman puttering around is simply Par for the Course.  As for the Bogeyman, he was last seen heading towards the Sand Trap at 7th and Alta better known as "Our Favorite Fixer Upper" ...! 

THE WEEK IN REVIEW AT OUR FAVORITE STARBUCKS ...!

                             

Barista Robb and Robin greeted me at Our Favorite Starbucks this morning with some startling news.  "Welcome Back," said Robb, "We've made some changes in your absence ... let's see if you can figure them out."  Apparently, at the direction of Starbucks Headquarters, they've replaced the counter at 7th and Montana with a collection of new bistro tables and chairs.  "See what happens," Robb noted, "You turn your back for one minute and we start making changes."  In other news, Actress Keri Russell made the scene this week with her baby, River, and a Gaggle of Paparazzi in tow.  According to Robin, the popular actress ordered a cappuccino-to-go and tried to remain incognito as she walked home.  She made it as far as the front door of my condo before turning to face the photographers, calling them a bunch of "Lame, F--cking A--holes" and continuing along her merry way.  Perhaps Russell, pictured here shortly before her outburst, would get more privacy if she traded-in her "Waitress" uniform for a Barista Cap ...! 

FROM SHRINE TO SWINE AT ASAKUSA ...

Before winging my way home to Santa Monica today, I decided to explore the Asakusa region of Tokyo, known for its many historic shrines and open air markets.  The heart of this neighborhood -- the Sensoji Temple -- is a deeply spiritual place.  Visitors come from miles around to walk through the Kaminarimon -- or "Thunder Gate" -- and purify their souls at the Water Dragon Fountain.  Just outside the temple walls is the Nakamise, one of the oldest outdoor markets in Japan, dating back to 1688 when a Big Shot Shogun named Tokugawa first allowed the opening of special Tea Houses to serve visitors to the Shrine.  Today, however, the Nakamise plays host to a more eclectic mix of shops selling everything from Halloween Costumes for your dog to Yokohama Bust Pudding, a popular, Japanese dessert served in a Pair of Perky, Plastic Breasts.  Like everything in Japan, it all makes Perfect Sense:  Visitors can pig out on "Breast Pudding" all day, then cleanse their souls at the Temple nearby ...!