A NEW LEASH ON LIFE AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

                             

Melissa made the scene at 7th and Montana this morning with "Mission," a Black Australian Shepherd, in tow.  Mission -- otherwise known as "the Leashless Wonder" -- routinely rides to Starbucks aboard Melissa's bike, then waits patiently, untethered, by the door while Melissa runs in for coffee.  I guess that's what makes it easier for Melissa to take on a new Mission:  She's trying to find homes for a Litter of Newborn Kittens.  Apparently, the kittens were inadvertently trapped for more than a week in some industrial equipment Melissa had purchased as an investment.  "It's amazing that they survived," she said, "Now we have to find homes for them!"  Good luck, Melissa ... Something tells me you're just the right person to give these kittens a New Leash on Life!

NUTCASE, AHOY ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

                             

A Jittery Nutcase made the scene this morning at Our Favorite Starbucks, intent on scaring-up a cup of coffee and scaring away the customers.  "Hey, man," he said to me, "Buy me a cup of coffee, wouldya?"  "No, thank you," I replied, retreating into my newspaper like a turtle in a shell.  The next thing I knew, he went into "Nutcase Overdrive," running into the Parking Lot and threatening a Serious Athlete who was wearing a "Boxing Hall of Fame" T-Shirt.  "I don't care if you have a mustache," yelled the Nutcase, inexplicably, "I'll do what I damned well please."  For the record, the Athlete -- a man named "Castle" who doesn't have a mustache -- simply nudged the Nutcase aside and shrugged the incident off.  "That was nothing," said Castle, "Last week he called me a Little Old Lady ...!"

RED TAPE AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

                             

Tongues were wagging this morning at 7th and Montana as word spread that a Mazda 323 -- California License Plate 2XKT187 -- has settled-in for the duration in a Highly-Coveted Parking Spot near Our Favorite Starbucks.  "That car has been in the same spot for at least two weeks," said one Disgruntled Local, "It's high time someone moved it."  Others offered a more Pessimistic View.  "The Damned Thing isn't going anywhere ... it's held together by Duct Tape!," said another source close to the situation.  As for me, I can't help wondering how the Owner is going to deal with all his or her Parking Tickets.  Then, again, we're obviously talking about someone who specializes in Red Tape ...!

CHAIR THIEF AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

                             

An Anonymous Chair Thief made the scene at 7th and Montana today, intent on "stealing" some Prime Real Estate in front of Our Favorite Starbucks.  Brazen beyond belief, she walked right up to an occupied table, grabbed one of the chairs and dragged it away, leaving a Dumbfounded Gentleman in her wake.  "Wait, that's my wife's chair!," he yelled to no avail as the Chair Thief made herself comfortable at a table nearby.  Stealing chairs is a Capital Offense at 7th and Montana, especially on a crowded Sunday Morning.  That's why -- at the risk of sounding like the Judge, Jury and Executioner -- I think we should give this woman the Chair ...!

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

FROM RUBBLE TO SCRABBLE ...!

I spent my last morning in Athens today "sightseeing on steroids."  In other words, I grabbed a taxi and asked the driver to take me to some of my favorite spots in the city including:  Hadrian's Arch (a monumental gateway built to commemorate the Roman Emperor Hadrian, who was a benefactor of Athens); the Temple of Olympian Zeus (a colossal ruin);  the Panathenaic Stadium (built for the first modern Olympics in 1896 on the site of an ancient stadium); and the Changing of the Guards at Syntagma Square (a spectacle so bizarre it makes me wonder whether the guards are related to "Cuckoo the Clown").  As I traveled from site-to-site, it became clear that my Taxi Driver had a one-word vocabulary.  Everything was "archeological."  Perhaps he could learn some new words from Kathy and Genevieve.  Moments after I returned to Santa Monica tonight, they sent me a message from 7th and Montana where they were engrossed in a highly competitive Scrabble Game (pictured above).  While Kathy "slaughtered" Genevieve 340 to 300, rumor has it that Genevieve is staging a comeback ...!  

CUCKOO THE CLOWN STRIKES AGAIN ...!

                               

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet "Cuckoo the Clown," a Creepy Carnival Refugee who spends his days working the crowd near the Plaka district in Athens.  Much like some of the characters who hang around at 7th and Montana, Cuckoo specializes in making Funny Noises and Chatting with Strangers.  "Where are you from?," Cuckoo asked my colleague, Judy, who eventually told him that she works in Hong Kong and I work in Hollywood.  At the mention of the word "Hollywood," Cuckoo's eyes, nose and Big Red Shoes practically lit up with glee.  I beat a hasty retreat, only to be accosted by him 20-minutes later as he ran after me with a business card.  "Mr. Hollywood," he said, placing his card firmly in my hand, "You never know when this might come in handy."  Seriously, if he thinks I can land him a job on the Silver Screen, he's even more of a Clown than I realized ...!

ZORBA LIVES ...!

"Give my regards to Zorba!"  Those were the last words I heard at 7th and Montana before leaving for Greece on Sunday.  Little did I realize just how close I would come to actually meeting Zorba the Greek three days later.  The fun began last night, when my colleagues invited me to dinner at a quaint seafood restaurant in the Mikrolimano area of Athens, on the Aegean Coast.  Much to my surprise, the name of the restaurant was "Zorbas."  "Are you Zorba?," I asked the waiter as he wheeled a tray of fish in my direction.  He ignored me.  "Are you Zorba," I asked a Lowly Busboy as he cleared away my plate.  He grimaced.  Finally, just when I thought all was lost, a Gentleman in a Suit appeared at our table to pay his respects.  I "recognized" him at once.  "Zorba, I presume?," I said slyly.  "Actually, my name is Zorbas," he replied, "  Gregory Zorbas."  "Close enough," I said, "Regards to you from the Starbucks at 7th and Montana ...!"