It was History in the Making today at 7th and Montana as word spread that Barista Nada is celebrating her Ten-Year Anniversary with Our Favorite Starbucks. That's ten years of grinding beans, serving pastries and smiling in the face of adversity. "It's been ten years," said Nada, beaming, "Can you imagine?!?" "Congratulations," I replied, though I couldn't help wondering what Starbucks Corporate in Seattle does to reward such Hard Work and Loyalty. Something tells me the answer is ... "Nada."
If you're wondering whatever happened to those "Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer," look no further than 7th and Montana. An Anonymous Barista caused a stir this morning at Our Favorite Starbucks by simply standing near the Pastry Counter and doing little else. "Isn't it strange?," said one onlooker, "He's just standing there, leaning against the counter, almost as if he's waiting for something." Moments later, the Barista, as if in answer to our question, announced in a loud voice, "I'm waiting for Oatmeal Lids." Frankly, the whole incident was enough to make me Flip my Lid. Why pay someone perfectly good money to wait for Oatmeal Lids when rumor has it there's a whole shipment of Apple Fritters on the way ...!
Kathy dropped a Bombshell on the crowd at 7th and Montana this morning when she confided that she has struck up an acquaintance with the Local Eccentric known as "the Unabomber." Famous for what can only be described as a wardrobe inspired by Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber is a fixture at Our Favorite Starbucks. Every morning, he walks up and down 7th Street wearing a Tactical Assault Vest with rolls of duct tape strapped to each wrist. Now, at last, his story can be told. "He's working out," said Kathy, who met up with him at Blockbuster Video, "He straps weights to himself -- instead of bombs -- and calls it the best cardiovascular workout money can buy." While the Police and others routinely remind him of his resemblance to the Unabomber, he prefers to be called "Steve." As for me, based on Kathy's lengthy description, I still can't help thinking he's the slightest bit Bombastic ...!
It was a Bittersweet Moment at 7th and Montana this morning as word that Barista Robb -- long known for his ability to mix quality cappuccinos with a touch of local gossip -- is "retiring" from Our Favorite Starbucks. "I like it here," he said, "But it's time to move on." Robb has no regrets. Thanks to the connections he's made at Starbucks, he is pursuing his dream of working in movie and television production and has been hired for projects with Leslie Iwerks Productions and E! Entertainment Television. Robb's last day at 7th and Montana is October 4. No word yet on how Starbucks is replacing him, but I plan to pop an idea in the Suggestion Box: "Candidate must be willing to Dish Dirt. Proficiency with Camera Phones is a plus ...!"
Heads were turning at 7th and Montana this morning as Gal-about-Town Sarah made the scene in a Snazzy, New Toyota Camry. Indeed, her car was a Big Hit in more ways than one: She backed it into a Pedestrian while trying to maneuver her way into the Parking Lot from Hell. "Oops," she said, peeking out the driver's side window, "Did I just hit something?" "It was nothing," I replied, "Just a Pedestrian." The man she hit -- a Nincompoop in his Mid-Thirties -- was sitting precariously near the "strike zone" behind Our Favorite Starbucks. When he saw Sarah's car approaching, he simply smiled and leaned forward, allowing the Camry to hit his chair with a Satisfying Crunch. In the end, no one was hurt but the incident did leave me wondering: What happened to Sarah's old car and why haven't we seen hide nor hair of the Jittery Nutcase for two months ...?
A funny thing happened at 7th and Montana this morning. While dozens of Unsuspecting Customers were getting wired at Our Favorite Starbucks, a team of workers toiled underground to get everyone unwired. Specifically, they removed miles of copper wires that criss cross the neighborhood. "Now that Verizon has installed Fiber Optics, no one needs the Old Copper Wires anymore," said one of the workers, "So we're ripping everything out!" Evidently, Verizon was forced to pay taxes on the Old Network whether they used it or not, so they came up with an ingenious solution: They're selling their used wires to China. Now that's what I call digging for China ...!
Traffic stopped at 7th and Montana this morning as a Local Eccentric known as "the Boy Named Sue" took a brief, rush hour stroll down the center of 7th Street. Last seen on July 31st sporting a pair of Fuzzy, Blue Slippers and a Bright, Red Handbag, Sue today unveiled a Bold, New Look. He was wearing a miniskirt and a pair of Perky, New Breasts. "Now I've seen everything," said a man sitting at the table next to mine, "I hope you got a picture of that!" "Not to worry," I replied, "I got all the photographic evidence I need." Afterall, someone has to keep the neighborhood abreast ...!
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