"MANSON WITH THE STARS" ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Tension filled the air at 7th and Montana this morning as a dead ringer for Charles Manson made the scene ... and the resemblance was more than just physical. According to inside sources, he arrived at 5:30 a.m. and almost immediately began raising a ruckus, throwing chairs and umbrellas on the sidewalk. At 6:30 he enjoyed a cup of tea, following which -- renewed and refreshed -- he began pacing up and down 7th Street like a caged animal. By 9:30, he was back to throwing things around and cackling like a hyena, albeit this time under Police Surveillance. Two squad cars arrived and a group of police officers watched his every move for about 30-minutes. At one point, they told him to calm down, but it didn't work. After the police left, he started pulling branches off trees, kicking furniture, knocking down signs and frolicking in the middle of the street. The only thing that seemed to calm him down was the arrival of Lucky, the Wonder Dog. "I know this dog," he said, "I kidnapped him 25 years ago. I wanted to kill him but he got away." Lucky wisely fled the scene. As for Mr. Manson, he took off shortly thereafter, leaving a Helter Skelter pile of chairs, branches and umbrellas in his wake ...!

RUSSIAN TO STARBUCKS ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

The Russians are Coming, the Russians are Coming! That was the cry this morning at 7th and Montana as a dead ringer for Russian KGB Cartoon Agent, Natasha Badenov, made the scene at Our Favorite Starbucks. Indeed, her outfit -- a black fur hat and a black jacket with leopard trim -- made her look like a refugee from the Rocky and Bullwinkle show. "Maybe she's here to make sure we pass the nuclear disarmament treaty," I said. Then, again, maybe she planted a few Apple Fritter Bombs on the pastry shelf ...!

ROBB AND THE ROBBER ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

They say that crime doesn't pay, but try telling that to Neighbor Robb. The budding young producer announced his latest project at 7th and Montana this morning, a documentary about a convicted felon who has just been released from state prison after serving most of a 78-year sentence. Robb has been following this hardened career criminal -- a man found guilty of several bank robberies, grand theft auto and miscellaneous other misdeeds -- for the past week with a camera, trying to get a sense for whether or not he's been rehabilitated. "Hmmmm," I said, whipping out my Spycam, "Isn't that rather dangerous?" "Maybe," Robb conceded, "But I've been getting some great stuff!" I guess I can relate. Afterall, I've been pointing my camera at Unsavory Characters for years ...!

NO NO NANETTE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet "No No Nanette," a delightful young toddler with a one word vocabulary: "No." She made the scene at 7th and Montana this morning with her mother and brother, and from the moment she walked in the door to the moment she left, it was a rousing chorus of "No! ... No! ... No! ... No! ..." Nanette and her brother sat at a table waiting while their mother ordered coffee and juice. "No ... No ... No ... No ... No ... No ... No!," shrieked Nanette, for No apparent reason. Her brother tried to calm her down. "No!," said Nanette, imperiously. I couldn't resist introducing myself. "Why hello there, young lady," I said, smiling, "Are you a Republican?" "No!," she shrieked. "That's funny, you sound like one," I replied. Some might say Poor Nanette is going through a phase. I sure hope so. Otherwise, I'm afraid we have a budding young No-it-All on our hands ...!

PETAL POWER ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

They say the early bird gets the worm, but every so often I've found that the early bird gets a photo opportunity, instead. Today I woke up extra early and was rewarded with a fleeting glimpse of the Yellow Breasted Booby, a rare specimen who zips up and down 7th Street every morning at the crack of dawn in a bike festooned with plastic flowers and stuffed animals. For months, I've made it a personal mission to get a photo of her in mid-flight and for months she's eluded me. But today I was ready. I saw her pedaling towards me, got my Spycam into position and ran discretely alongside her as she crossed San Vicente. "Nice plastic flowers!," I yelled, "and I like your stuffed animals, too!" She just looked at me out of the corner of her eye and pedaled faster, leaving me in the dust. I hope I didn't ruffle any feathers ...!

SNAPPING OUT OF IT ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Shock waves rippled across 7th and Montana this morning as the “Zombie” – known for sitting motionless in the same chair for hours on end – snapped out of it. All at once, he opened his eyes, pulled the earphones out of his ears and looked in my direction. “Hey, mate,” he said in an Australian accent, “You wouldn’t happen to know what time it is, would you?” I couldn't have been more surprised if King Tut's mummy walked in the door and ordered a Grande Americano. “Ummmm … what?!?,” I replied. “You know, the time … what time is it?,” he repeated. He looked at me like I was the one in a semi-catatonic state. “Oh, sure,” I said, “It’s 7:25.” “I’m late!,” he said. And with that, he stood up, brushed the dust off his jacket and set off on a journey ... all the way to another table, closer to the pastry counter. Was it something I said ...?

GOOD VERSUS EVIL ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

It was a battle of canine good versus evil at 7th and Montana this morning as everyone's favorite golden retriever, Lucky, canvassed the neighborhood for a good cause: the Guide Dogs of America. What a mensch! No wonder Lucky already has 18,223 friends following his exploits on Facebook. On the other end of the spectrum, "Hannibal" -- the evil poodle -- made the scene again yesterday wearing his "protective" mask. I tried to pet him, but he just looked at me like he wanted to eat my liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti ...!