A HERO'S WELCOME ... AT THE WB STARBUCKS

I know some Starbucks locations serve hot sandwiches, but imagine my surprise when I learned that heroes are on the menu at the Starbucks on the Warner Bros. lot. The sign above the Baristas reads "Recharge with a Trenta" and features The Green Lantern popping out of a Starbucks cup. No doubt they use The Joker to promote the Apple Fritters ...!

"CURSES, FOILED AGAIN" ... AT 15TH AND MONTANA!

A funny thing happened at the Starbucks at 15th and Montana today. There I was, reading through some material for work, when in walked the Notorious Neighborhood Newspaper Thief, known for stealing newspapers from the Starbucks at 7th and Montana. For years, I've thwarted his thievery and, for years, he's pedaled away for dear life on his getaway bike. But now, I guess the truth can finally be told: When he leaves 7th Street empty-handed, he just pedals over to the Starbucks at 15th Street where, if today was any indication, he thinks he can ply his trade unnoticed. He boldly walked through the front door, sat right next to me and grabbed a newspaper from the stack in front of us. He casually opened it -- as if to say "aren't I nonchalant?" -- then carefully looked all around him. And that's when all Hell broke loose. He saw me sitting next to him and the eyes nearly popped out of his head. "Howdy," I said, with a friendly wave. His jaw dropped, and then so did the newspaper as he flung it back where it belonged and ran out the door. Ironically, I had no intention of interfering with his theft -- just a few days ago I vowed to look the other way -- but I guess after all these years the mere sight of me is enough to spoil his fun. Either that, or the long arm of the law stretches to 15th Street ...!

BACK IN THE SADDLE, AGAIN ...

It was back to business this morning at Our Favorite Starbucks as I made the scene fresh from my recent trek through the cafes of Montana. So, after eight days, eight pastries and more coffee than you can shake a stirrer at, what I have learned? Montana Ave. is filled with great coffee houses. I promised to reveal my "favorite" and here it is: Our Favorite Starbucks. To me, it's all about the people and the folks at 7th and Montana are as good a group as you'll find anywhere. The coffee isn't the greatest and the pastry is the pits but the people -- both the customers and employees -- more than make up for it. For the best coffee: I recommend Peet's and Cafe Luxxe. For pastry, I'd say it was a three-way tie between Cafe Luxxe, Valen Dolce and Sweet Lady Jane.

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Where does this leave my blog? I'm back to the grind but with a twist. I've enjoyed my visits elsewhere, and will continue making the rounds on an ongoing basis. As for the notion that I'm prohibited by Starbucks policy from taking photos inside, this simply isn't true. Starbucks corporate policy has been communicated widely to the public here and it's the same policy that every other cafe on Montana follows. The "Average Joe" is allowed to take photos ... professional media need to get permission. One Anonymous Commenter told me to "show some respect" and she's right. I'll try to be both more discreet and respectful moving forward. Otherwise, I'm back in business. Speaking of backs, an Attractive Fashionista wowed the crowd this morning with a Picture Perfect Plunging T-Shirt that made her look ready for the runway ...!

A TALE OF THREE STARBUCKS ...!

It was a tale of three Starbucks today as I decided to put the pastry to the test at all three of the Starbucks on Montana. Yes, friends, it’s true, there are three different Starbucks locations in a ten block radius on Montana … and each has its own personality. I started at 7th and Montana. “I’m going to surprise you today,” I told Barista Nada, “Hit me with an Apple Fritter!” She was shocked, but handed me a Fritter nevertheless. I quickly removed it from the store (in order to photograph it in peace), then took a deep breath and bit into it. It was cloyingly sweet, a dense and greasy mass covered in a thick, shimmering layer of sticky icing. My parents had a saying when I was growing up: “In our family we’d eat a sugar coated dreck log if it was put in front of us.” I guess you could say I’ve come a long way because I couldn’t quite bring myself to finish the Fritter. It wasn’t terrible. It was just filling. Besides, I had other fish to fry.

Next up was the Starbucks at Lincoln and Montana, just a block away from 7th Street. Truth be told, this is just a Kiosk in the Pavilions Supermarket, but I still wanted to check it out. “Smile and Say Cheese Danish!,” I called to the Barista as I waived my Spycam in her direction. She didn't laugh. And there weren't any Cheese Danish in her display case, either. I decided to move on.

There’s not a lot you can say about the Starbucks at 14th and Montana. It’s been recently renovated so it fits the Starbucks mold a lot more than Our Favorite Starbucks, but it doesn’t have the same personality or cast of characters. The pastry selection was identical to every other Starbucks I’ve seen in the area and I couldn’t help wondering whether that might be Starbucks' problem. Perhaps in an effort to maintain consistency, Starbucks has standardized its pastry menu whereas others, like Peet’s, pick and choose from a variety of popular local bakeries or contract with local master pastry chefs. Anyhow, I decided – on the advice of the Barista -- to order the Petite Vanilla Bean Scone ($.85). It was Petite, alright … basically just a single bite. But after the Fritter, that’s all I wanted. It wasn’t bad. Not too dry, with just the right touch of Vanilla, but the sugary icing was too much. “Is that all you want?,” asked the Barista, “Usually people order three of those.” “No thanks,” I said, “They say bad things happen in threes!” Speaking of which, I have three slices of Apple Fritter left if anyone's interested ...!

TAKING THE CAKE ... AT SWEET LADY JANE

"Too much of a good thing can be wonderful." Mae West uttered those words decades ago, but it's also the motto at Sweet Lady Jane (1631 Montana), one of the newest cafes in town. Sweet Lady Jane (otherwise known as Jane Lockhart) might be new to Santa Monica but she's been providing Hollywood's elite with mouth-watering goodies for years out of her original location on Melrose Ave. The menu in both locations is pretty similar: Cakes (28 flavors ranging from Almond Roca to Triple Berry Shortcake); Specialties (such as Chocolate Tacos); Pies (chock-full of fruit); Cheesecakes (including Hazelnut and Chocolate Vanilla Swirl) and Tarts (including Bananas and Cream and Apple). Given that I made the scene extra early this morning, I played it safe by ordering an Oatmeal Date Bar ($2.00) and a small coffee ($1.50). The Date Bar is a perfect way to start the day. It's thick, with a generous layer of moist, date filling and a semi-sweet crust. The oatmeal topping gives the whole thing a healthy appearance. As for the cakes, well, no one ever accused Mae West of being too thin. Here are a few of my favorites:

Old Fashion Chocolate;

Seven Layer Chocolate;

And Red Velvet. But what really took the cake this morning was a Sweet Little Old Lady who sat at the table next to mine with her Poodle, Rex, a pampered pooch if there ever was one. Rex, a registered "service animal," ran circles around the woman's legs and sniffed continuously at the base of the table until the woman finally got the message. "Goodness," she said, "It looks like Rex needs to take a walk. Would you mind watching my purse?" She disappeared for about five minutes, leaving her purse in full view. I guess when you're in a place called Sweet Lady Jane, it's hard to imagine anything bad happening ...!

YOUR QUESTIONS, MY ANSWERS ...!

Well, folks, I’m about midway through my culinary tour of Montana Avenue and thought this was as good a time as any to address some of the comments and questions I’ve been getting so far. Interestingly enough, a lot of the questions seem to be about Peet’s, so I went back there this morning to get a few answers. During my first visit, a friendly debate erupted between the Barista and the man standing behind me in line over which pastry I should order. I went with the Triple Berry Scone, but the Barista recommended the Almond Croissant. Paula commented that the Almond Croissant sounded good to her. Well, Paula, you’re right. It is good. There’s a certain subtlety to it that appealed to me: It’s not too flaky, not too buttery and not too sweet … with just the right hint of almond flavoring to make it all worthwhile. If you can believe it, when I arrived this morning, another Friendly Pastry Debate was in progress. The woman standing in front of me was waxing poetic about the Cherry Almond Scone, demanding that the Barista tell her exactly who baked it. In case you’re wondering, Peet’s gets its Cherry Almond Scones from La Provence. The Almond Croissant ($2.85) comes from La Brea Bakery. An Anonymous Reader assumed correctly that I was ordering the same-sized cup of coffee both at Starbucks and Peet’s and asked me how the prices compare. For my order, a small (or what Starbucks calls Grande) drip coffee, the price was the same at both locations: $1.95. Emikk wanted to know whether Peet’s offers any Apple Fritters. Sadly, Emikk, they don’t. One thing they do have, though, is an interesting sense of community. By complete coincidence, the same woman who offered me a seat at her table on Saturday joined me again today. I told her about my blog and she was quick to point out that an eclectic bunch of folks hangs out regularly at Peet’s, just like they do at 7th and Montana. “Oh,” she laughed, “We have our share of loons around here, too!” Granted, I’ve only been there twice, but I didn’t hear any Opera Singers belting out tunes in the bathroom; there weren’t any “zombies” sitting statue-like by the condiments bar; and there weren’t any cross dressers (at least as far as I could tell). Another Anonymous Reader asked: “How many coffee houses are there on Montana Ave.? I hope you tell us which one you like best.” There are eight coffee houses between 7th and 17th Streets and I’m planning to hit each one. When I’m done, I’ll let you know which one I like best. And finally, I got a noteworthy e-mail from Gary, the Co-Owner and Creative Director at Caffe Luxxe. He saw my blog and wanted me to let you know that they’ll be introducing “a very fun Peanut Butter and Jelly Macaron very soon.” Yum …!

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Meanwhile, back at 7th and Montana, work continued on the vacant space formerly occupied by Blockbuster Video. The fact that the work crew removed all the unsightly blue tiles from the building’s exterior means we might be in for a major overhaul. According to the Local Scuttlebutt, Chase Bank will be moving in, but, who knows … maybe we’ll end up with yet another Coffee House!

QUICK GETAWAYS ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Café Boulangerie (804 Montana) is unlike any of the other coffee spots on Montana. It doesn’t have a fancy theme. It’s not part of a huge chain. It doesn’t offer anything you couldn’t find anywhere else. But what it does do, it does very well. It churns out tray after tray of tasty, fresh-baked breads, cakes, danish, and muffins all day, every day. And when you consider the fact that it shares a small space with a mediocre Chinese takeout restaurant (Panda’s Kitchen), that’s quite an accomplishment. I went there this morning intent on trying something new. “Tell me,” I said to the Friendly Pastry Maven behind the counter, “What do you recommend?” “How about a Cappuccino Muffin?,” she replied, “They’re very popular!” “I can see why,” I said, “Mind if I take some photos for my blog?” “Of course not!,” she said, “Feel fee!” As far as muffins go, this one – at $2.10 – was above average. It was moist, sweet and still warm from the oven. But people don’t linger at Cafe Boulangerie. They grab it and go … and that’s what I did.

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Speaking of quick getaways, the Notorious Neighborhood Newspaper Thief has been having a field day lately at 7th and Montana. Known for stealing copies of The New York Times and The Los Angeles Times when he thinks no one is looking, then peddling away at warp speed on his getaway bike, the Newspaper Thief has become the stuff of local legend. Only one thing seems to keep him in check: a camera phone pointed squarely in his direction. Three of us have taken turns over the years doing the honors, but I – for one – will no longer play Van Helsing to his Dracula. I’ll focus, instead, on his daring escapes (see below). While we’re on the subject of ‘hot news,’ Barista Tyler reminded me today of something he did recently which in my opinion goes above and beyond the call of duty. A photo of me ran in Daily Variety after an industry event, but I was out of town and didn’t get a copy. He drove all the way to the Variety offices in Hollywood, picked-up a copy as a surprise and posted it on the bulletin board at Our Favorite Starbucks. Can you imagine anyone else at any other café in town doing the same thing? It’s that kind of spirit that keeps me coming back … !