WHEEL NUTS ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

It was skating on thin ice this morning at 7th and Montana for an Anonymous SK8 Boy who rolled his way into Our Favorite Starbucks astride an oversized skateboard. He quickly kicked the tail and maneuvered the skateboard into position by his side, but I couldn't help thinking the whole thing was an accident waiting to happen. Then, again, I guess it could be worse. He could have been riding a Harley ...!

RATED "X" ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

X marked the spot all weekend at 7th and Montana as a team of skywriters repeatedly circled the airspace over Our Favorite Starbucks, leaving a stream of Xes in their wake. At first, I wasn't sure what to make of it. Was someone marking our neighborhood as a warning ("Keep your distance ... you're entering unpredictable local loon territory!")? Or was it a UFO alert ("Danger: Unidentified Fritters Onsite!")? It turns out it was none of the above. Twentieth Century Fox was behind the whole thing: It was a teaser campaign for the latest X-Men movie. X-Men: First Class hits theaters on Friday.

"YANKEE DOODLE MANDY" ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet "Yankee Doodle Mandy," a patriotic newcomer at 7th and Montana who decided to celebrate Memorial Day in style. She wore a bright blue patterned dress, a purple sweater and a baseball cap which she decorated with an American Flag. Normally, I'd call the Fashion Police but today I was ready to salute, put my hand over my heart and recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Have a happy, healthy Memorial Day ... !

SILENT BUT DEADLY ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

It was a silent but deadly morning at 7th and Montana today, thanks to an Anonymous Young Woman who made the scene with her laptop computer and a case of indigestion. There I was, working on the Sunday crossword, when the woman-in-question let loose a muffled fart and ran to the restroom. She ran so quickly that she left her laptop open ... and I couldn't help peeking at what was on her screen. It was a scientific presentation of some sort that read: "Gas to Liquid = Condensation. Liquid to Gas = Evaporation. Solid to Gas = Sublimation. Gas to Solid = Deposition." I guess the poor thing must have been studying too hard ...!

POWER TO THE PEOPLE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

They say absolute power corrupts absolutely. Maybe that's why I let today's power outage at Our Favorite Starbucks go to my head. Through no fault of their own, the baristas at 7th and Montana were forced to close their doors today due to a neighborhood power outage. But that didn't stop me from grabbing my coffee at another nearby Starbucks and enjoying it at one of the sidewalk tables facing 7th Street. When folks arrived and found the doors locked, I hoisted my coffee in their direction and said things like "Sorry, folks, it looks like they're closed ... for you!" and "Oh, well, I guess Starbucks doesn't like the cut of your jib. Cheers!" Most people took it in stride, but one local, Tommy Toupee, known for his peculiar taste in hair pieces, practically wigged out. "It's their electrical system," he muttered, "That's why they tell me they're not able to get a toaster. They're never able to toast anything in there." "Really?," I replied, "They toast everything for me ... all the time. You name it, they toast it!" Something tells me if I'm not careful, one of these days I'll be toast ...!

CATHY'S LUCKY DAY ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

It was Neighbor Cathy's lucky day today at 7th and Montana. Not only did Howard surprise her with a fresh bouquet of flowers -- just for being her wonderful self -- but the crew at Our Favorite Starbucks presented her with a free baked good, despite the fact that they were closed today due to a power outage. I guess Cathy's horoscope must have said "Good things will come your way today ... and pastry, too!"

LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES ...?

Love was in the air at 7th and Montana this morning ... but I couldn't help wondering who put it there. Someone posted a sign on the Eucalyptus Tree in front of our Favorite Starbucks reading: "Single Girl? Professional Caucasian male, early 30's, blonde, blue eyes, college grad, very athletic, over 6' tall looking for a serious girlfriend." It went on and on. Respondents were invited to send the writer an e-mail. In a sense, I guess this isn't too far off from Internet dating, but I must say, it seems like a risk to staple an anonymous personal ad to a tree, especially at 7th and Montana, where you're as likely to snare a Zombie as anything else. Now that's what I call barking up the wrong tree ...!