BEAUTY AND THE BEAST ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

It was a case of Beauty and the Beast at 7th and Montana this morning as an Anonymous Local (pictured above) tried to bring her Pampered Pug into Our Favorite Starbucks. The only question was, which one was the beast? The woman obviously thought she was within her rights to bring her dog inside, even though it wasn't a "service animal." She even seemed somewhat 'inconvenienced' when the baristas made her take the animal outside. What can I say, Lady? As a wise woman -- Barbara the Boxer -- once said, "Life is Ruff ...!"

FIGURE SKATING ... AT 7TH AND GEORGINA?

It was a game of Crazy Eights this morning at 7th and Georgina as a Local Matron glided across the street and sidewalk over and over like an ice skater doing figure eights. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she was doing this. It was probably some sort of exercise, but it looked like she was rehearsing for a part in Ditzy on Ice. "Keep it up!," I cried as I walked by, "You're doing great!" I couldn't help wondering, however, whether she was off her axel ...!

BARBARA BOXER ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

President Obama wasn't the only political bigwig in town today. California State Senator Barbara the Boxer made the scene at 7th and Montana this morning and she wasted no time pulling up a chair and hobnobbing with the masses. Following are excerpts from an exclusive interview she did with me.

Me: Tell me, Babs -- may I call you Babs? -- What do you think the President's chances are of getting re-elected?

Barbara the Boxer: Ruff!

Me: Thanks. And what's your view on the economic turnaround?

Barbara the Boxer: Ruff!

Me: I see. And what's it like working with the Senate Republicans?

Barbara the Boxer: Ruff!

Me: Tell me about Republican Presidential Candidate Rick Perry ... how would you describe his skills on the debate floor?

Barbara the Boxer: Ruff ... Ruff ... Ruff ...!

I, for one, could have gone on and on but the interview was cut short when Barbara became fixated on a fire hydrant and her handlers insisted that it was time for her to attend to other business ...!

SUPAH NINJAS ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Creative Kudos to Neighbor Nat for his show Supah Ninjas, a new TV show about three kids -- Mike, Owen and Amanda -- who are high school students by day and butt-kicking, villain-battling Ninjas by night. The show also stars Actor George Takei (otherwise known as Sulu from Star Trek) as "Hologramps," a holographic grandfather who dispenses equal bits of Ninja wisdom and homespun humor. New episodes of Supah Ninjas air on Saturdays at 9:00 p.m. on Nickelodeon ... and they're re-run throughout the week. So tune-in if you want to see somethin' supah ...!

A BANJO ON MY KNEE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Ladies and Gentlemen, there's a new Local Loon in town: Me. The fun began several days ago when Neighbor Robb -- up to his old tricks -- jumped out from behind a shrub and tried to turn the Spycam tables on me. True, I was shocked ... but I also hammed it up for his camera. Anyhow, flash forward to today and there's my image on a poster at Our Favorite Starbucks advertising Free Banjo Lessons. "Fun Male Banjo Master seeking local singles to come over and learn banjo," it read. The picture made me look like something out of the Dueling Banjo scene in "Deliverance." "Howdy," I seemed to be saying, "I'm my own first cousin!" Naturally, I took the whole thing in stride. I whipped out my Spycam and snapped photo after photo of Robb and Robin. None of them look bizarre enough to post here, but just you wait. Revenge is a dish best served at Our Favorite Starbucks ... and I don't mean the Apple Fritters!

THERE'S NO STOPPIN' POPPINS ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

It was Chim Chimney, Chim Chimney, Chim-Chim Cher Loon this week at 7th and Montana as a Mysterious Newcomer swooped into town on the wings of a battered, blue umbrella. "Get a load of Mary Poopins," I said, as the newcomer trudged her way down the street. She marched into the supermarket, no doubt to get a spoonful of sugar, then disappeared into the pharmacy. Some say she's in town for a Jolly Holiday, but I think she's probably the brains behind the new "Mary Poppins Mobile," a mobile chimney sweep service that's been driving up and down 7th Street all week cranking out Mary Poppins tunes at full blast ... again ... and again ...!

TRAITOR IN OUR MIDST? ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA

It was a case of Coffee Bean and Treason this morning at 7th and Montana as a Downright Evildoer made the scene with a cup of coffee from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. She took one of the few available tables at Our Favorite Starbucks, spread out her computer and set to work, drinking the coffee she brought with her. Perhaps she thought no one would notice, but if it happens again, I'm e-mail her Mug Shot to Howard Shultz ...!