LOOK WHAT THE CHESHIRE CAT DRAGGED IN ... AT NARITA AIRPORT!

It was "Hello Kitty" and "Goodbye Dignity" at Tokyo's Narita Airport this morning as I stumbled my way into a Freakishly Embarrassing situation. There I was, waiting in line for a Customs Official to stamp my passport, when I felt a Gentle Tap on my shoulder. "Pardon me, is this the line for Foreigners?," asked a woman in a squeaky voice that sounded vaguely like Minnie Mouse. I turned around and, to my shock, came face-to-face with what can only be described as an explosion in the "Hello Kitty" factory. She wore a bright pink and purple fur coat festooned with stuffed animals including a Cottontail Rabbit clinging to her back and a Cheshire Cat wrapped around her neck. Her shoes -- a pair of Purple Platform Boots offset by Lime Green stockings and Bright, Red Hearts -- made it look like she was on stilts. Her hair, a mass of Pink and Purple Dredlocks, was held firmly in place by a pair of Sparkling, Plastic Orbs. She looked like Pippi Longstocking on Acid. "I ... err ... yes ... this line is for Foreigners," I stammered. Then it struck me: She couldn't possibly be for real. "I like your costume," I chuckled, "You really had me going there for a second!" "It's not a costume," she smiled, "This is how I dress everyday!" And with that, we parted ways: I boarded a flight to Jeju, a "remote and mysterious island" off the Southwest coast of Korea, and she, no doubt, went back through the Looking Glass ...!