RIP VAN STINKEL ... AT 30,000 FEET!

I guess I only have myself to blame, but once again I found myself sitting next to the seat mate from hell this evening aboard United Flight #27 from New York to Los Angeles. The fun began yesterday when I agreed to take another "day trip" to New York for a meeting. My meeting ended a bit earlier than expected, which meant that I had a chance to catch an earlier flight home. I used all my "pull" with United to get the last remaining seat on an earlier flight ... even though the woman at the ticket counter tried to warn me that I might not be very happy. "This is literally the last seat on the plane," she said, "It's not exactly the best seat in the house." Fifteen minutes later, I knew what she meant. There, sitting next to me, was "Rip van Stinkel." Rip, an Asian man in his mid 50's, fell asleep almost as soon as the flight began. He snored loudly, smelled like pickles, and spent most of the flight jamming his elbow into my side. Next time, I'm bringing a gas mask ...!