BAGEL INFRACTION AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

Don't tell Canter's -- and mums the word at Nate n' Als -- but rumor has it that Howard appeared on the scene at 7th and Montana this morning with a less than perfectly toasted bagel.  In fact, photographic evidence suggests that the bagel in question was barely toasted.  Even Our Pal Zoey sniffed in displeasure at such a clear infraction of Bagel Protocol!  

A SURPRISE FROM LEAH ...!

Just when you think you've seen everything at 7th and Montana, you're in for a real surprise.  There I was this morning, minding my own business, when Leah amazed me by pulling a packet of artificial sweetener out of her bra.  Rumor has it Karenina is equally resourceful.  I guess that's what makes them such bosom buddies!

THREE CHAIRS FOR MARIO ...

Three chairs for Newbie Starbucks Manager Mario, who was quick to recognize and respond to a little problem this morning at 7th and Montana.  "Your chair is broken," he told me, helpfully.  For my part, I was so impressed that I practically gave him a standing ovation.  Mark my words, this man is going places.  Anyone can see he has Chairman written all over him!

NERVOUS NELLY ...!

Tongues and tails were wagging this morning as a mysterious newcomer unleashed his dog, Nelly, on the crowd at 7th and Montana.  Every time he left Nelly unattended, the resourceful pooch untied herself and went for a stroll.  Fortunately, he had more luck where his laptop was concerned.  It stayed put despite the fact that it was left on the sidewalk for all to see!

THE ROAD TO RIO ...!

Real estate agents across Santa Monica rejoiced this morning as word spread that the notorious "Mr. Evil" -- known for tossing away Open House signs all over town -- is gearing up for a move of his own. The irrepressible curmudgeon announced that he's moving to Rio de Janeiro next year!

THAT'S PROFESSOR KOVAR TO YOU ...!

Academia will never be the same:  Starting next week Kovar begins teaching a weekly course in photography at the California Institute of Art.  As of this morning, he was busy finalizing the syllabus.  Congratulations, Kovar ... we always knew you were a class act!

AKEELAH REVISITED ...

"Pursue Your Dreams, Just Like Akeelah Did."  That was the mantra posted throughout Our Favorite Starbucks this morning as the latest crop of Newbies struggled to get an order right.  While Quinn said she might return to active duty occasionally to help train the newcomers, she's busy pursuing her dream of teaching special needs students.  Think about it, Quinn, another stint at Starbucks these days might be just what you're looking for!

A NEW CALLING FOR AN OLD FRIEND!

The crowd at Starbucks was abuzz this morning on news that Our Favorite Building Manager has found a new calling.  The multi-lingual, multi-talented man-about-town has accepted a new job working at an Armenian Church in Glendale.  He's also looking for construction projects together with the Plumber pictured here.  Let's hope they lend their expertise to the "Fixer Upper" at 7th and Alta!

A POP QUIZ FOR NEWBIES ...!

It was time for a pop quiz this morning at 7th and Montana.  Here's the question:  Say you're a Newbie employee at Starbucks and a customer leaves her keys on the counter.  Do you:  A). Ignore the keys and hope they go away?;  B).  Scratch your head and shrug your shoulders?; C). Maintain a glazed expression at all times?; or D) All of the above.  The answer, of course, is "D!"

WHEN THE PROMENADE IS TOO FAR A-FIELD ...

Next time you're at the Third Street Promenade, look out for Flying Nuns.  At an event sponsored by Philips last night, Sally Field -- on receiving a Premiere Icon award -- told the audience she did her own informal survey asking people on the Promenade if they recognized her.  They didn't.  Other winners included Annette Bening (pictured here as a blob behind the podium), Cate Blanchett and Sofia Coppola.

REST IN PIECES ...

If you've driven anywhere near the corner of San Vicente and Bundy, you've probably noticed that it looks like Ted Bundy attacked one of the Coral Trees.  Eyewitnesses report that one of the more majestic specimens toppled over last week and has subsequently been chopped into dozens of pieces left on the median strip.  Alas, poor Coral Tree, I knew it well ... 

DISCOMBOBULATED AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

I'm usually the first to say that "change is good" but recent changes at Our Favorite Starbucks seem a bit -- well -- disorienting.  As if the army of "newbies" weren't enough, they've moved the condiments table based on the advice of an interior decorator.  The whole thing was enough to encourage Paul to start quietly getting his coffee at Pavilions and bringing it with him to 7th and Montana!

TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF ...?

It was a morning of surprises as Mr. and Mrs. xxxx-lord made the scene.  While Mrs. xxxx-lord used her newspaper to save a table for some nearby regulars, Mr. xxxx-lord said a cheery "hello" to one and all.  It would take more than a few pleasantries to win me over, but Charlie seemed completely convinced.  The unpredictable sheepdog siddled up to the controversial couple for the duration!

MYSTERY REVEALED ...!

It's time to set the record straight regarding our "mystery photo." The photo was taken at Our Favorite Intersection -- none other than 7th and Montana -- more than 50 years ago. Evidence reveals that a Standard Oil gas station stood at the intersection throughout the 1950's. Funny how things change. Now when people ask for High Octane they end up getting a Double Espresso. Thanks for the photo, Tom!

OOPS ...!

Oh well, I guess I was so busy trying to shove everything but gels and liquids into my suitcase at dawn this morning that I left my little bag of cables, cufflinks and other essentials -- including my brain -- in Denver.  Enough is enough.  Maybe it's time to stay home for a while.

NAME THAT GAS STATION, PART TWO

O.K., it's been nearly a week and we still don't have a winner in the "Name That Gas Station Contest."  Come on, guys, doesn't anyone recognize anyone or anything familiar about this photo?!?  We've had a couple of close guesses but so far, no dice.  One way or another, all will be revealed on Saturday!

ROCKS IN MY HEAD ...

Just when I was thinking I must have rocks in my head for bouncing between events in Denver and Newport Beach, I came across this unusual rock formation in my hotel in Denver.  It's so unique it, well, rocks!

BEHIND THE ORANGE CURTAIN ...!

What could possibly spoil a picture perfect day at a resort in Newport Beach?  Spending the whole day in a meeting room, that's what!  And it was my birthday to boot.  Oh well, it's Karenina's birthday, too.  Let's hope she did more to celebrate!

GOOD SAMARITAN ...?

A mysterious Good Samaritan -- the same gentleman known for removing Open House signs all over town -- did a good deed today by clearing off the table next to ours, creating space for Our Favorite City Councilman whose sister, Maria Shriver, drove by 7th and Montana to give him a playful tongue-lashing for spending Sunday morning at Starbucks instead of Church.  To each their own!

HELP WANTED ...?

Rumor has it that a qualified, multi-lingual Building Manager may be open to new career opportunities.  If anyone knows of a suitable position, just let me know.  Meanwhile, unless the owners of a certain building at 7th and Montana come to their senses, they may show up one day only to find a "Gone Fishin'" sign hanging from the office door!

NAME THAT GAS STATION ...!

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time to play "Name that Gas Station," the lively new game show that asks the musical question:  Can you tell Who or What is familiar about this photo from yesteryear?  The first person to guess correctly wins a free coffee of his or her choice at Our Favorite Starbucks!

THE MIGHTY QUINN LEAVES 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

It was a sad morning as The Mighty Quinn announced that she is leaving Starbucks to pursue other interests (see Photo 1 of the back of her head).  On a more cheerful note, the "Trimanic Depressive" at the cafe across from my office cracked a smile for the first time in two years today.  Why the sudden mirth?  Her toaster caught on fire! 

LITTLE WATER PITCHERS HAVE BIG EARS!

What evil lurks behind the gates at 700 San Vicente?  Just ask the Department of Water and Power!  Shortly after a DWP crew left the scene, residents noticed the following enigmatic message scrawled on the sidewalk at 7th and San Vicente:  "Your Water Crew is Heering You!" 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KOVAR ...!

There was much fanfare this morning at 7th and Montana as we celebrated Kovar's birthday.  Actually, Kovar himself tried to keep things relatively low-key, but the woman sitting at the next table was screeching up a storm (see Photo #2).  Look on the bright side, Kovar:  At least now we know what to get you for your birthday ... Noise Cancellation Headphones! 

QUEASY RIDER AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

Santa Monica Police pulled over a motorcyclist this morning at the entry to Our Favorite Parking Lot and read him the riot act.  The driver -- an unidentified youth in his early 20's -- seemed increasingly nervous under police questioning.  Bottom Line:  If you're riding a motorcycle without a helmet, you need your head examined in more ways than one!

A FAREWELL TO WALLS ...!

I bid "Auf Wiedersehen" yesterday to Berlin and returned to Sunny Santa Monica.  Before I left, I paid a final visit to the remains of the Berlin Wall (pictured here beside my hotel at Potsdamer Platz).  While portions of the wall remain on display for tourists, it's hard to tell whether the City is commemorating an important milestone or advertising the availability of "Weeney" (see Photo 1)!

THE SECURITY GUARDS THAT TIME FORGOT ...!

Yesterday in Berlin I met two security guards who must have been cryogenically frozen during World War II and defrosted just in time to work at the IFA Consumer Electronics Show.  Despite the fact that I had my exhibitor badge, booth credentials and identification with me, they wouldn't let me into the convention center.  Rather than explain that I could simply use another door 100 yards away, these graduates of the Cro Magnon School of Diplomacy spent 15-minutes needlessly yelling at me.  For my part, I threatened to e-mail their bosses the many unflattering photos I took of them during our conversation!

WHITE TRASH IN BERLIN ...

Now I've seen everything:  A restaurant in Berlin called White Trash Fast Food has taken every stereotype of the ugly American and served it up on a tasteless platter.  With a menu ranging from "F..ck You French Fries" to "Up Yours Cheeseburgers," waitresses with more tattoos and nose rings than they know what to do with and music that would make Slim Whitman cringe, White Trash is a real adventure.  Best of all, there's a cover charge!