A-LOON AT LAST ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Watch your step, folks, there’s a new loon in town.  Meet the Admiral, a man who can’t resist screaming “Old Navy” for no apparent reason at five-minute intervals.  I first noticed him yesterday, standing at the doorway of Our Favorite Starbucks.  “Old Navy?,” he asked me.  “Gap,” I replied, brushing passed him.  Banana Republic might have been more appropriate.  Twenty minutes later, he flew into a rage.  “OLD NAVY!,” he shrieked, gesturing wildly and toppling over a trash can.  “Take that!,” he continued, throwing a chair on the sidewalk and kicking someone’s bicycle.  By this point, I had assumed the standard 7^th and Montana Loon position:  “Duck your head down and stare intently at the floor.  Don’t make any sudden movements.”  “Money, Money, Money!” the Admiral screamed.  Neighbor Johnny gave him 50 cents, which seemed to make matters worse.  Starbucks management called the police, who carted him away faster than you can say “Urban Outfitters.”  He was last seen shopping for something in stripes …