SEPARATED AT BIRTH ...?

They jog together.  They swim together.  They work out together.  But most of all, they hit 7th and Montana together every morning.  So, it should come as no surprise that the crew at Starbucks has dubbed our favorite fitness buffs Leah and Karenina simply "the Twins."  At least that's what they write on their coffee cups and, as we all know, if it's on a Starbucks coffee cup, it must be true.  Speaking of which, Starbucks is on the hunt for new quotes to put on its coffee cups:  The Way I See It.  Unless anyone has a better idea, I'm going to submit the following:  "If you are what you drink, I'm a Grande Drip." 

GOODBYE PUDDLES, HELLO DORIS

In local news this morning, Santa Monica residents were aghast at reports that Puddles the Tortoise is missing.  The beloved pet -- an African Sulcutta measuring approximately 7.5" long by 3.5" high -- was last seen wandering aimlessly in the alley between San Vicente and Georgina, by 7th Street.  Insiders suspect foul play.  In an unrelated development, the new staff at Starbucks was in the soup yesterday as they mistakenly identified 7th and Montana diehard Joyce as "Doris."  What would Puddles say?  

ABOUT ME ...

People have been asking lately, "Who is this martygord?" and, since we're among friends here, who am I to disappoint?  I'm really just a simple man who likes the simple things in life.  After a brief stint -- several years -- in jail, I went to the dentist for a few root canals without novocaine.  You see, as a recovering drug addict, I eschew pain killers of any kind.  Oh -- I almost forgot -- I'm also a widower.  My wife hung herself from the rafters last night.  I could go on sharing a million little details of my life, but in the interest of time let me refer you to my new bestseller:  "My Life Only More Marketable."  Available wherever fine books are sold.  Seriously, way to go Oprah for throwing the book at author James Frey.  The crowd at 7th and Montana applauds you!

MORE SUNDANCE PHOTOS ...

Here's another batch of photos from our Sundance celebrity lounge.  Catherine Bell (Photo #1), DB Sweeney (Photo #2) and Kevin Sorbo (Photo #3) all checked out the new Blu-ray Disc technology.  According to DB, one of his movies (Dinosaur), will be among the first on Blu-ray from Disney.  Photos are courtesy of Photowire.

EUREKA ... ANOTHER MYSTERY SOLVED!

I'm sure anyone who caught my post on December 14th -- THINGS YOU'LL NEVER SEE ON 7TH AND MONTANA ... -- was just as curious as I was regarding the contents of that ill-fated Bento Box I suffered through in Tsukuba City.  Well, friends, I just had lunch at Joss Restaurant near my office on Sunset and, lo and behold, there it was again.  That slimy yet crunchy, porous vegetable is commonly called a Lotus Chip.  Experts say "it makes a wonderful, thick dessert soup that is known for preventing diarrhea while increasing one's appetite."  Tune in tomorrow when we explain the difference between the Lotus Chip and the Buffalo Chip!

FROM SHOOTING STARS TO SHOOTING BLANKS ...

As promised, here are the first of the professional photos from my trip to Sundance.  Photo #1 depicts Actress Sally Field experimenting with Near-Field Communication technology.  Photo #2 depicts Actor Wilmer Valderrama easing his way from "that '70s technology" to a nifty MP3 player.  Photo #3 depicts our hospitality lounge during a lull.  All photos are courtesy of Photowire.  Meanwhile, back on 7th and Montana, Starbucks regular David reminisced this morning about his first and only trip to Park City (a local resident fired a blank at his rental car, nearly driving him off the road) and our Favorite Building Manager revealed that he is a former Green Beret.  Personally, I'll stick to shooting pictures!

GOODBYE SUNDANCE, HELLO SUNSHINE ...!

It was a whirlwind week of pressing the flesh in Park City, but I finally made it back to 7th and Montana in one piece this morning.  As much fun as it was -- meeting everyone from Tommy Lee, Rob Lowe, Lance Bass, Crispin Glover, the Police (yes, the band, they swung by our lounge), Alexis Bledel and dozens more who I should have heard of -- it was high time to wing it back to Santa Monica.  Frankly, I'll take our little corner of the world, anytime.  I guess I'm just a Grande Drip at Heart! 

 

HANGERS-ON ...

It was wall-to-wall celebrities, rock stars and hangers-on at our Sundance hospitality lounge yesterday but, personally, I think the judges at this year's film festival should give an award to our event photographer for "Most Creative T-Shirt."  He was evidently promoting a new website -- The-Hanger-On.com.-- designed exclusively for people who crashed their way into Sundance!  P.S.:  I'm not posting photos of celebrities from our lounge because I'm actually talking with them here.  How uncouth would it be to whip out my cell phone and snap a photo mid-conversation?!?  I'll get copies of the photos our event photographer has been taking, instead!

A REAL SNOW JOB ...

The concierge at my hotel informs me that Park City has had more than 214" of snow so far this season.  They're actually happy about it.  Anybody got a shovel?  Meanwhile, rumor has it that Paris Hilton is at my hotel.  Stay tuned for further updates ...

DIESEL MAKES APPEARANCE AT SUNDANCE ...

Stop the press!  Diesel made a special appearance today at Sundance Film Festival.  No, not Superstar Vin Diesel.  Diesel fumes permeated our hospitality lounge all morning! 

   

MOOSE ON THE LOOSE ...

Sundance Film Festival hasn't even started but that didn't stop the Park City locals from wishing me a warm welcome.  Mr. Moose (see Photo #1) took time out of his busy schedule to say "hello."  Like everyone else, he tried to sell me some winter clothes.  Not to be outdone, a shopkeeper nearby decided to open his door to welcome me to town.  I'm not sure what was stranger, the fact that he opened his door to sub-zero temperatures or that he had an owl perched on his shoulder (see Photo #2).  Is it hunting season, yet? 

A PLUM ASSIGNMENT ...

Veteran screen and stage actress Amanda Plummer may have crashed the party at 7th and Montana this morning.  Then, again, maybe not.  At the very least, a woman closely resembling -- if not impersonating -- the eccentric performer was seated at the next table (see Photo #1).  Was she Amanda Plummer (see Photo #2)?  You decide.  I think not.  After all, as everyone knows, it's never easy finding a Plummer on a holiday!

ASHES TO ASHES, SNOW TO SNOW ...

Move over, Dr. Dolittle, it seems all of Santa Monica was fixated on the animal kingdom today.  Not only was the menagerie at 7th and Montana larger than usual (see Photo #1), but the herd surrounding Photographer Gregory Colbert's "Ashes and Snow" exhibit at the beach seemed ready to stampede at any moment (see Photo #2).  Colbert's work supposedly explores "the natural interaction between man and other animals" (see Photo #3), but I wouldn't know ... the line waiting to get in was, itself, a zoo.  For now, I'll limit my interaction with the animal kingdom to our friend, Zoey (see Photo #4)!

I SAY NOTHING ...

Some Lowlifes don't Understand why Most of us don't Like Our umbRellas Disappearing at Starbucks!

MEMO TO KYRA: KEEP YOUR GOLDEN GLOBES CLEAN

Golden Globe nominee Kyra Sedgwick may be known for her stunning red carpet appearances, but as anyone at 7th and Montana can tell you, someone gave her a bum steer this morning.  The actress, pictured here from behind leaving Starbucks with her "stunt double," fell victim to the latest Hollywood trend:  An Abercrombie & Fitch logo emblazoned across her rear end.  Fashion statement, my ass!

HATS OFF TO CATHY ...!

What does our very own Cathy Stone have in common with John and Suzie Cook, proprietors of the world famous Tustumena Lodge in Kasilof, Alaska?  She's giving their Guinness Book of World Records hat collection a run for the money, that's what!  Of course, Cathy has much more fashion sense than the Cooks, who have plastered their dining room ceiling and walls with 22,000 baseball caps (see Photo #2).  Way to go, Cathy ... the crowd at 7th and Montana is brimming with pride! 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY ... DEATH BY STARBUCKS

Ever wondered how many Grande Drips you could drink in one sitting before you finally kicked the bucket?  At long last, scientists have come up with the answer:  20.48 cups.  Conversely, it would take a whopping 127.97 cans of Red Bull to give you permanent wings.  Check out the following useful link for more information:  Death by Caffeine Calculator. 

SNAP, CRACKLE AND POP ... !

It was a bumper crop this morning at 7th and Montana as one unwitting driver after another snagged their car on the curb from hell.  Pictured here in Photo #1, a confused Audi stranded itself on the curb shortly before heading the wrong way out the entrance to our favorite parking lot.  Moments later, the fun continued as a Volkwagen (Photo #2) lost its bumper before a crowd of interested onlookers.  Drive safe, everyone!

HOW TWEET IT IS ...!

Either I was extra gullible or badly in need of caffeine, but that old rascal Ralph sure played one hell of a practical joke on me this morning.  Shortly after I sat down, our favorite building manager informed me that he needed to go to the hospital for an emergency operation on his throat.  All the while, his speech was punctuated by a series of occasional high-pitched chirps of gradually increasing intensity.  While some might wonder whether Ralph had contracted the Bird Flu, a little birdie told me he was just having some fun!    

YOU SAY GOODBYE, I SAY HELLO ...

Pardon my recent silence, but I've been up to my eyeballs at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas and only just got home.  The crowd at 7th and Montana was buzzing this morning about Leah's trip to Costa Rica (terrific), Kathy's trip to Bali (which sounds amazing even if she did get sick) and Karenina's trip up North (which sounds relaxing).  As for me, it was a week of non-stop meetings and events but I survived.  Here's some on-the-scene coverage of CES from the Engadget blog:   Philips CES Booth Tour - Engadget.

ROBBING PETA TO PAY PAUL ...?

It was doggone wet this morning at 7th and Montana, but that didn't stop one determined Starbucks addict -- pictured here -- from making her appointed rounds, dog-in-tow.  Despite a torrential downpour, she tied the poor dog to a tree while she grabbed a cup of coffee.  While she said her dog didn't mind, I have my doubts!

NEW YEAR, SAME OLD MISHAPS ...!

Is it me, or does it seem like people just stopped whooping it up on New Year's Eve?  A quick survey this morning revealed that none of the 7th and Montana crowd did anything especially interesting last night.  Most of us couldn't even be bothered to watch the ball drop.  Of course, if you thought your New Year's celebration was "flat," that's nothing compared to the unfortunate soul -- pictured here -- who snagged her tire on the infamous Starbuck's curb this morning.  The poor woman seemed totally deflated.