GOODBYE PUDDLES, HELLO DORIS

In local news this morning, Santa Monica residents were aghast at reports that Puddles the Tortoise is missing.  The beloved pet -- an African Sulcutta measuring approximately 7.5" long by 3.5" high -- was last seen wandering aimlessly in the alley between San Vicente and Georgina, by 7th Street.  Insiders suspect foul play.  In an unrelated development, the new staff at Starbucks was in the soup yesterday as they mistakenly identified 7th and Montana diehard Joyce as "Doris."  What would Puddles say?