HOMEWRECKERS ANONYMOUS ...

When is a home wrecker a welcome sight?  When it's the name of a home demolition service parked in front of Santa Monica's favorite fixer-upper, that's when!  This mysterious "House of Wreckers" truck was seen in the neighborhood this morning.  Let's hope it was casing the joint ...!

GAME CALLED ON ACCOUNT OF DRIZZLE ...!

Never let it be said that the 7th and Montana crowd doesn't have enough sense to come in from the rain.  At the first sign of drizzle this morning, a crowd including Kovar, Dennis, Peter, Rafael and yours truly quickly dispersed.  And with good reason, too, as inclement weather transformed our favorite Starbucks into a watering hole.  Special thanks to Roving Reporter Lisa Lake for her live, on the scene photography!

SHARK BAIT AND A CASE OF AMNESIA ...

It was an unforgettable moment at Starbucks this morning as an adorable Pug named "Shark Bait" made the scene in her own, customized wagon.  Moments later, the poor traumatized pup -- recovering from surgery -- lived up to her name as that rascal Charlie lunged at her.  In other news, Kathy gave the thumbs-up to Unknown White Male, a documentary about Doug Bruce, a stockbrocker who developed a nasty case of amnesia only to rediscover his gentle side.  Maybe that's what Charlie needs ... a healthy dose of Amnesia!   

CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE ...

Ever wonder what Disneyland looks like when it's empty?  My friends at Disney hosted a dinner last night at an otherwise closed portion of the park -- "California Adventure" -- where we had our very own tour of the facilities.  Can you imagine Disneyland without people?  What next, Starbucks without coffee?!?  Editor's Note:  These photos don't do the experience justice (I guess I need both a zoom lens and a flash!).

I'M ALL EARS ...

You hear the funniest things here at Disneyland Hotel and, for my part, I'm all ears ... especially after my hosts from Disney sent a pair of Golden Mouse Ears to my room, complete with my name embroidered on the back.  For example, I could swear I heard kids running around all night long in the hallway.  Must have been my imagination ...I love this place! 

THAT MAGIC MOMENT ...!

It may not be 7th and Montana, but I’m having an absolutely magical time here at the Magic Kingdom where I'm attending some of the Happiest Meetings on Earth!  The fun began yesterday when, after parking my car on the outskirts of Fantasyland to avoid any Magical Dings, I ran right into America's favorite Ding-a-Ling, Goofy.  Goofy is the one on the left.  Anyway, wish me luck this morning ... something tells me Grande Drip isn’t a Magic word around here!

GET ME A PADDED CELL ...

Here's a Starbuck's Trivia Question for you:  Which 7th and Montana "regular" answers his cell phone by identifying himself as Captain Strange?  Winner gets an all-expenses paid trip to a padded cell, which is perhaps the last remaining refuge from the growing number of nincompoops who shout into their cell phones for all the world to hear.  I say we all invest in a Cone of Silence (see Photo #2)!

EMISSION IMPOSSIBLE ... !

It was a breathtaking morning at 7th and Montana today as an enormous, antique Packard chugged its way through our favorite intersection.  Pictured here, the bright blue sedan was a big hit among everyone except for the state smog inspection bureau.  Moments later, it was an Emissions Violation of another kind as an inconsiderate newcomer (see Photo #2) smoked us out with an enormous stogie!

BROKEBACK BUTT AND A DOSE OF GOOD KARMA ...!

Oscar Fever settled into Santa Monica this morning as our own "Academy" at 7th and Montana nominated its favorite chair -- better known as "Brokeback Butt" -- for a Lifetime Achievement Award.  For obvious reasons, the chair in question (pictured here) has been relegated to a Supporting Role in an unused corner of the Starbucks parking lot.  Perhaps the elephant from the nearby Ashes and Snow exhibit sat on it?

In other local news, Kathy (with a "K") accurately noted this morning that my recent post -- offering a link to an online revenge service -- was "Bad Karma."  Far be it from me to tempt fate.  To balance the scales, I hereby offer two more positive links.  WaySpa.com is a new online service allowing you to send Spa treatments to your loved ones.  The company was founded by Peter, a 7th and Montana newcomer from Italy.  And for some real positive vibes, here's a link to a site that is specifically designed to generate Good Karma:  Click Here for Good Karma.  This site encourages visitors to download a special Mantra ("Om Mani Padme Hum") to "electronically purify" their souls as well as their hard drives.  Naturally, I've avoided any actual downloads from this site -- and encourage you to do the same.  Internet Viruses can be pretty Bad Karma, indeed.  In any case, my apologies for linking to that tasteless "revenge-o-gram" site several days ago.  As penance, I will return to 7th and Montana this afternoon to sit in the "Brokeback Butt" chair for no less than one hour while slowly munching a Cranberry Bran Bar in the rain!

GRANDE DRIP, DRIP, DRIP ...!

It would take more than a little rain to dampen the 7th and Montana spirit this morning.  After all, what's another Grande Drip among friends?  The big surprise today, however, was that it was also raining Italians as one immigrant after another made his or her way to Starbucks.  Our Favorite Building Manager went into Rafael mode! 

         

BORED OF DIRECTORS ...?

Fellow Condo Owners:  Are you Bored with your Directors?  Riled with Regulations?  Peeved over Policies?  Take heart, salvation is at hand!  A new online service -- thepayback.com -- offers revenge at the push of a button, thanks to a product portfolio ranging from "dead fish-o-grams" to complete "body odor packages."  Satisfaction never smelled so sweet!  

UP ON A ROOF ...?

Good news was percolating in Starbuck's back yard this morning as a Roof Inspector paid a visit to our favorite fixer upper.  At exactly 10:09 a.m., an inspector arrived on the scene with a clipboard, circled the premises twice and got back into his roofing truck.  I'm taking bets ... What do you think will disappear first:  The holes in the roof or the holes in the ground?

A SIGN OF THE TIMES ...

You know the holidays are long gone when they swap out the Cranberry Bliss for Cranberry Bran bars at our favorite Starbucks.  I don't know about you, but I personally loathe Cranberry Bran with every fiber of my being! 

WINTER OLYMPICS AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

It may be Day 5 of the Winter Games in Torino, but the Olympic Torch was burning brightly at 7th and Montana today where competition in the Bonehead-Behind-the-Wheel category has reached an all-time high.  Today's Gold Medal goes to the woman who actually beached her silver BMW in the Starbuck's parking lot (see Photo #1).  Bronze medal goes to the owner of this stray car part found near our favorite curb (see Photo #2).

QUESTION OF THE DAY ...

Here's a hypothetical question:  Say you have a Lebanese passport (which you've lost) and a Green Card (which you've found).  You're desperate to get to Canada as quickly as possible.  Do you:  A). Take a big risk and show up at the Canadian Border with only your Green Card?;  B). Yell and scream at "the authorities"?;  C). Decide you have other fish to fry?  Despite much discussion on this very topic today at Starbucks, all I can say is, stay tuned ...

PARADISE FOUND ...

Cathy (with a "C") asked me this morning whether I plan to put my roots down in Santa Monica.  As I write this -- from the perch on my balcony -- it's 77 balmy degrees, the sun is shining, the humming birds are humming and the air is fragrant with Eucalyptus.  I just returned from the beach where the joggers are jogging and the volleyballers are volleying.  Two years ago, I had an epiphany:  If you're just going to be a corporate "headcount," might as well head where it counts and find a better career path.  So, as I said this morning, you couldn't pry me out of here with a crowbar!

A FROND IN NEED IS A FROND INDEED ...

To the family living in the larger-than-life replica of "Tara" on 7th Street, some frondly neighborhood advice:  Get rid of your curbside debris.  Those palm fronds were Gone with the Wind more than a month ago.  Even Scarlett O'Hara wasn't above a little manual labor when it came to keeping Tara ship-shape!  

YOU ARE WHAT YOU DRIVE ...

We all know that L.A. is a car culture, but local expert Dennis took the concept to a new extreme this morning at Starbucks.  People, he says, are just living, breathing automobiles or "internal combustion engines."  Lord knows some of us are more full of gas than others ... and we've all seen our share of drivers blow a gasket at 7th and Montana!

 

GATES OF HELL ...

What would you do if someone implied that you looked like Bill Gates?  Laugh?  Run to the nearest plastic surgeon?  Head to the bank to make a quick withdrawal?  Such was my challenge this afternoon when I was introduced to a certain Hollywood mogul as "Bill Gates, Jr."  Gee, Pop, let's play another round of Monopoly! 

  

URINE FOR A SURPRISE ...

Just when you think nothing can surprise you, urine for a real shock.  Yes, friends, someone left a genuine glass of urine in my office last night (see photographic re-enactments for more detail).  Was it the accident-prone Piddle King down the hall, the evening cleaning crew or was someone just plain pissed off at us?  I don't know and neither does our Building Security Guard who could barely hold in his laughter.  If you have any ideas or information, feel free to send me your analysis of the situation.

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM ...

It was a veritable demolition derby this morning at our favorite intersection as one car after another hit the curb with a resounding clunk.  Said one senior parking lot official, "Efforts to widen our curb have been completely deflated."

ANOTHER ANDY GUMP, I PRESUME ...?

With all the porta-potties in Starbuck's back yard these days, it seems only natural that toilet humor should reign supreme at 7th and Montana.  Kathy wins today's prize for discovering a booming business in doggie waste disposal.  It seems a company called Doody Calls has been making the rounds door-to-door in Santa Monica offering the latest in pet waste removal services.  Their motto?  "When Nature Calls, We Answer."  I guess Andy Gump will just have to make doo.

I DEMAND A RECOUNT ...!

In local news today, Santa Monica resident Richard Stone remains missing amidst reports of an upset in local politics.  Last seen on Tuesday, the popular reform candidate vowed to create a new level of transparency in local election procedures.  Inside sources at 7th and Montana, however, fear that enemy forces may have co-opted this week's election results and made Richard, himself, transparent.

OFF THE WAGON ...?

If it's a dog's life, where do I sign up?  Meet "Stella," the latest addition to the 7th and Montana crowd.  Stella, an adorable Pug, hasn't let her recovery from surgery stop her from making her daily Starbucks run.  Instead, she has been chauffeured each morning to and from Starbucks in her own personal wagon (pictured here).  Gives one paws, eh ...?