MR. BIG

Meet "Mr. Big."  Mr. Big drives Mrs. Big's SUV all the way to Starbucks (two whole blocks from the Big House at 7th and Marguerita) for a Big cup of coffee.  Drive, Mr. Big, Drive!  Mr. Big blocks the entry to Our Favorite Parking Lot by parking wherever he likes.  Ha, Ha, Ha.  Laugh while you can, Mr. Big.  We're reporting you to Cathy ... !    

ANOTHER DOGGONE CANDIDATE ...!

Move over Bobby Shriver, Jenna Linnekens is running for Santa Monica City Council and she hit the campaign trail this morning at 7th and Montana.  While she seems to have a good command of the issues ranging from the homeless problem to our educational infrastructure, she didn't have much command of her dog, Dante, who got loose and barked up a storm.  Thank God she's not running for Dog Catcher!

THE WEEK IN REVIEW AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...

It's been a busy week at 7th and Montana:  Pavillions reopened with much fanfare;  Bob and Joyce harvested a bumper crop of tomatoes; Selwyn harvested a bumper crop of bumblebees; The City of Santa Monica announced a new effort to ban smoking at outdoor venues;  A gabby group of Israelis descended upon Our Favorite Starbucks;  A bicyclist popped a tire;  and Nada announced that she's moving to Arizona!

A REAL DUTCH TREAT ...!

I enjoyed a real Dutch Treat yesterday as a colleague took me to dinner at a small village near Eindhoven where it was as if time stood still.  What could be better than a relaxing dinner outside -- surrounded by a cobblestone square and houses that have been around for centuries?  Here are some photos of the village.

"JUST SAY NO ...!"

Nancy Reagan must have connections at the Crown Hotel in Eindhoven.  A sign in my room reads:  "Dear Guest:  We hereby notify you that it is not permitted to keep or consume drugs in your room.  Thank you for your understanding."  What next, no smoking?!? 

I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM ...!

I scream, you scream, we all scream in 90-degree heat!  It's almost as hot here in the Netherlands as it is in Burbank but at Philips we've discovered a great way to beat the heat.  Today in the office we were treated to ice cream cones delivered on a silver tray.  Now that's what I call giving employees their just desserts!

HIRE THIS WOMAN AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

Take down the Help Wanted signs at 7th and Montana!  Our Favorite Starbucks should recruit Baristas from the Dutch Railway System.  Imagine my surprise today when a polite young woman -- pictured here -- served me coffee and cappuccino from separate nozzles sticking out of her uniform.  A faucet attached to her back dispenses soup.  Let's not ask where she keeps the condiments! 

A UNIQUE EXPERIENCE ...!

What could be more unique than having coffee at 7th and Montana in the morning, rushing to catch a flight and emerging a full day later, just in time to meet a good friend for coffee?  A rendezvous near the wonderful "Cafe Unique" in Amsterdam, that's what!  Anyway, I'm glad I was able to catch some quality time with my friend, Marijke, before jumping on the train to Eindhoven.

HOME CLOSED TO THRU TRAFFIC ...!

Come One, Come All!  New neighbors have moved into the home near 7th and Montana and Our Favorite Building Manager is organizing a surprise home tour!  "The owners are my friends," he said.  "They have many beautiful plants.  Bring your camera!"  Interestingly, a sign appeared in front of the newly renovated home this morning reading:  "Road Closed to Thru Traffic!"

ANGEL TAKES FLIGHT ...!

Yet another Barista Extraordinaire is leaving Our Favorite Starbucks.  Rumor has it that Angel takes flight today, leaving 7th and Montana for greener pastures.  Where is he heading?  Where else but 26th and Wilshire to join Tanya and Company.  Good luck, Angel.  We look forward to meeting your Greenhorn replacement!

TWINS TIMES TWO ...!

It's official:  Santa Monica's most famous "twins" -- Leah and Karenina -- have some new competition.  Melinda and Kathy both arrived on the scene this morning wearing identical yellow tank tops and black pants.  Coincidence?   I think not!   

GLASS ACTION LAWSUIT ...?

A mysterious newcomer arrived on the scene at 7th and Montana today, muttering and puttering around the entry to Our Favorite Parking Lot while Bob, Joyce, Richard and I looked on (and Charlie growled).  He left under police escort shortly after smashing a bottle and flicking the shards in my general direction.  I guess one could say we avoided a glass action lawsuit! 

BILL GATES AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...?

Imagine my surprise when a complete stranger came by my table, said "hello" in my general direction and followed it up with "Has anyone ever told you that you look just like Bill Gates?"  At first I was horrified, but a quick glimpse at the woman sitting next to me (pictured here) suggests he might have meant her.  In fact, maybe she was Bill Gates.  Decide for yourself!

A HOLIER THAN THOU ATTITUDE AT OUR FAVORITE FIXER UPPER

I guess you could say the owner of Our Favorite Fixer Upper has developed a holier than thou attitude.  For those who haven't noticed, the plastic bags that have been decorating her roof for the past year have finally deteriorated, exposing gaping holes for all to see.  Said one neighbor, "Holy Moly, someone should finally put this tear-down out of its misery!"  

PAINTED INTO A CORNER AT 7TH AND SAN VICENTE ...

Another Lesson Learned:  When having your bedroom painted, don't forget to grab some clothes out of the closet before it's encased in plastic.  In other words, I've painted myself into a corner this weekend.  Meanwhile at Starbucks, discussion of the events in Lebanon with Our Favorite Building Manager left me feeling painted into another corner!

RETURN TO SENDER ...!

Chalk one up for the U.S. Postal Service.  In response to Genevieve's letter of apology for accidentally dropping a bag of Toby's poop into the mailbox, our Friendly Neighborhood Mailman evidently decided to return the favor.  He left the poop -- together with Genevieve's note -- on the curb at 7th and San Vicente!

MORE INTRIGUE AT THE ORANGE HOUSE ...!

Tongues were wagging at 7th and Montana as yet another firetruck pulled in front of the Garish Orange House this morning.  What could it be this time?  Dennis thinks a cat was stuck in a tree.  Genevieve thinks the zone around the Orange House has become our own Bermuda Triangle.  I think we're probably dealing with another case of what Cathy might call Acid Reflux Disease!

BRUTE FORCE AT 9229 SUNSET ...

I support a smoke-free environment as much as the next guy, but sometimes it seems like we're taking our anti-smoking laws a bit too far.  No sooner did my colleague, Chuck, step foot outside today for a quick cigarette, than a police car pulled over and a scary she-hulk of an officer came running towards him, rifle cocked.  Actually, further inquiries revealed that police were investigating a potential bank robbery next door! 

SPECIAL DELIVERY ... POSTAGE DOO!

Anyone looking for the real poop this morning at 7th and Montana need look no further than Genevieve.  While walking Toby, it seems that Genevieve accidentally dropped a plastic bag filled with dog poop into the mailbox.  Undaunted, she ordered a bran muffin for herself and Toby a few minutes later.  Gen: Sounds like your trip to Greece comes not a moment too soon.  Just don't send us any postcards!

HIS WORLD CUP RUNNETH OVER ...!

Our Favorite Building Manager -- an international man of mystery if there ever was one -- was understandably jubilant today based on Italy's victory in yesterday's World Cup match.  Of course, he said that in addition to being Italian, he's also French so he would have been happy if France won, as well.  Now that's what I call a win-win situation! 

THE PELICAN BRIEF ...

We've all seen some strange birds in Santa Monica, but what I saw walking around the beach yesterday really takes the cake.  A Pelican was strolling down Ocean Front Walk along with his good friend, a homeless man who -- judging from the smell -- must have been wearing anchovy cologne.  I guess you could say the two of them were like birds of a feather!

CIN CIN TO KATHY ...!

Congratulations to Kathy who just received her Italian citizenship.  Granted, she hasn't actually been to Italy yet, but now's her chance.  As for me, I've decided to apply for citizenship in Antarctica.  Who knows, by the time I retire it might be downright tropical there!

GRAND THEFT SHREK BIKE ...!

It was cause for celebration at 7th and Montana today as word spread that Greg's prized "Shrek" Bike was recovered, days after a would-be thief tried to steal it from his garage.  The suspect, last seen trolling down 7th Street, is described as "an excessively large, 35-year-old male with a bright green complexion and cone-shaped ears."

MANY HAPPY RETURNS AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...

It was like a family reunion today at 7th and Montana as Bob and Joyce returned from Big Bear (photos 1 and 2) and Fabrizio returned from Firenze to join his advance crew, Terri (photo 3).  Even Tanya returned from her new gig at Wilshire and 26th to say "hello" (photo 4).

EXPANDING OUR TERRITORY!

It's official.  After months of speculation I'm expanding the local coverage on this blog to include relevant news items from Patrick's Roadhouse where the latest development is that Manager Extraordinaire Silvio is training his son Mika on the cash register (see photo).  I'm open to suggestions on a new name for the blog as "Heard at Starbucks" is a bit limiting. 

INDEPENDENCE DAY AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Is Our Favorite Starbucks slipping?  That was the question as Dennis declared his own Independence today by bringing coffee from Deidrich's to 7th and Montana.  Frankly, the other day one of the new Starbucks employees asked me to taste my Grande Drip to see if it came out OK, explaining that it "looked kinda funny."  It tasted funny, too, so he dumped the whole pot!

WHERE THERE'S SMOKE, THERE'S FIREWORKS ...

Holy Smokes!  A chain-smoking curmudgeon -- the same man who in recent weeks said "F--ck You" to Melinda when she said "Hello" and "Up Yours" to Our Favorite Building Manager for no apparent reason -- sat right alongside me today at Starbucks.  I considered asking him to put out his cigarette but decided to save the Fireworks for Independence Day!

SOMETHING FISHY ON 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

Leave it to Kathy to get the real scoop behind the Garish Orange House on 7th Street.  Thanks to yet another mishap -- a motorcycle plowed into the Orange Homeowner's car this morning -- we learned the following:  the residents have lived in the Orange House for 40 years.  The color is called "Goldfish" and reminds them of Buenos Aires.  I always knew there was something "fishy" about that house! 

ISN'T IT DE-GLOVELY ...?!?

Natalie shared more tales from the Emergency Room with the crowd at 7th and Montana this morning.  It seems that one of her patients was "de-gloved" last night.  For those who don't know, this means that he accidentally peeled the skin entirely off one of his hands.  Not to worry, Natalie re-attached the relevant "skin flap" and the rest is history.  Isn't it "de-glovely?"