YES, NO, MAYBE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Shock waves rippled across 7th and Montana this morning as the Artist formerly known as Rigolatte for his tendency to stand in front of Our Favorite Starbucks belting out opera tunes proved once again just how versatile he is. Today he could be found pacing up and down 7th Street muttering to himself. "Yes, No, Maybe ... Yes, No, Maybe ... Yes, No, Maybe ...," he repeated over and over like a mantra. Pedestrians gave him a wide berth. One father scooped up his little girl and whisked her away faster than you can say "maniac." As for me, I say "Give the guy a break. We don't really think he's that dangerous, do we?!?" On second thought, "Yes, No, Maybe ...!"

GOING THE EXTRA MILE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Anyone who knows Barista Veronica knows she goes the extra mile at Our Favorite Starbucks ... but this morning she announced that she's going even further. On September 20th, she plans to run in the Maui Marathon to raise money for the AIDS Project Los Angeles, a nonprofit group in L.A. dedicated to improving the lives of people affected by HIV disease. Veronica, who has never run a marathon before, has just started training for the 26.2 mile race. Her goal -- as she says on her AIDS Marathon Home Page -- is to raise $5,000. You can donate on her home page ... but I'll check tomorrow whether she's also collecting cash donations in person. Good luck, Veronica!

SMART CAR, STUPID PARENTS ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

The U.S. auto industry may be running out of gas, but that didn't stop a Precocious Toddler from making the rounds at 7th and Montana this morning in his very own "Smart Car." The only problem is, his Car was evidently a lot smarter than his parents. The Toddler's Mother seemed content to sit and sip her cappuccino while her son circled their table in an ever-expanding orbit that brought him perilously close to oncoming traffic. Jesus Chrysler, folks, what's the world coming to ...?!?

HOLD THE APPLAUSE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

I guess there's no accounting for some people's manners. Just ask "The Accountant," known far and wide for spreading his clients' confidential paperwork all over Our Favorite Starbucks. He recently parked his Silver Mercedes SUV in the "No Parking Zone" on 7th Street, blocking traffic while he dashed inside to grab his coffee. "Look," said Joyce, "It's the Accountant." "He's dropped his paperwork in the gutter," added Bob, "I think it was your Tax Return!" Indeed, the Accountant dropped one of his files on the ground but he recovered it quickly. When he saw that he had an audience, including me and my trusty spycam, he smiled and took a bow.

MUCH ADO ABOUT MUFFIN ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

All Hell broke loose this morning at 7th and Montana as an Anonymous Fussbudget threw a conniption fit over a Blueberry Muffin. "You've raised the prices," he shrieked, "I'm calling my lawyer!" Apparently, the old price -- $1.75 -- was still on the card in the pastry case. The new price, which automatically appears when the cashier rings up the order, is $1.85. Inside sources report that the Fussbudget held up traffic by explaining the merits of his potential lawsuit in great detail. Forget the muffin. This guy needs a muzzle ...!

THE MAYOR OF CRAZYVILLE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

The Artist Formerly Known as Rigolatte for his tendency to stand in front of Our Favorite Starbucks belting out opera tunes shocked the crowd at 7th and Montana yesterday by changing genres: He was singing Disco Music from the 1970's. I knew something was terribly wrong when he poked his head into Starbucks, turned towards the Pastry Counter and sang a few bars from Gloria Gaynor's 1978 torchsong I Will Survive. At first I was afraid, I was petrified ... and who wouldn't be with a demented songbird like that standing nearby. Then I realized he might get away before I could get any decent blog material. I followed him as far as 7th Street, took a quick photo and ran into Screenwriter Mark. "It sounds like our songbird has changed his tune," I said, "What do you think he's singing now?" "It's a new song he wrote all by himself and it goes something like this," said Mark, singing, "I AM THE MAAAYOR OF CRAAAZYVILLE ...!"

SLUDGEGATE REVISITED ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

The crowd at 7th and Montana was flush with excitement this morning as inside sources blew the whistle on the culprit responsible for last month's Sludgegate incident that left some locals up to their eyeballs in toxic waste. Apparently, a fitness guru and spokesmodel we'll call "Mr. Sludge" flushed his weight in babywipes down the toilet, clogging neighborhood pipes and sending hundreds of gallons of raw sewerage into the elegant apartment complex at 527 San Vicente. I caught up with Mr. Sludge today at Whole Foods and kept a close eye on his shopping cart. I'm pleased to report that he walked right by the babywipes. Of course, the fact that I was standing in front of them with my spycam at the ready might have had something to do with that ...!