Hats Off to the Anonymous Trendsetter who walked into 7th and Montana today wearing a Skull-Hugging Winter Cap, complete with Ear Flaps and a Tail. Never mind that it's 60-degrees and sunny outside, this man is prepared for the Snows of Kilimanjaro. Either that, or he mugged one of Santa's Helpers. Said one onlooker, "Maybe he's making a statement." "Yes," I thought to myself, "He's telling the world that he's a Goofball ...!"
Heads were turning at 7th and Montana this morning as an Anonymous Potential Celebrity arrived on the scene, Power Walking her way down 7th Street and into Our Favorite Starbucks. "Hey, wasn't that Marlo Thomas?," asked Kathy. "I don't know," I replied, "I'll check." And so I went inside, intent on finding out whether Thomas -- perhaps best known for her starring role in the 1960s sitcom That Girl -- was in our midst. I gaped; I gawked; I surreptitiously pointed my camera phone in her direction ... all to no avail. In the end, I only succeeded in arousing the suspicion of a man sitting at the counter who looked at me like I had three heads. Was I embarrassed? Of course not! After all, aren't we all Free to Be… You and Me ...?
Rumor has it that it was "Mission Accomplished" for Ace Photographer Kovar as he reached the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro last week with seven-year-old Keats Boyd in tow. Kovar, who is still in Africa, is shooting a documentary about Keats and his successful bid to become the youngest person ever to climb the tallest free-standing mountain in the world. The team "summited" at Kilimanjaro on January 21 at 3:45 p.m. in what experts describe as "brutal, freezing conditions." Said Kovar, "After ten days without a shower, I'm heading to the Serengeti Plains." He was last seen frolicking with the Wildebeasts ...!
Head for the Hills, Folks! An Over-Indulgent Mother is on the loose at 7th and Montana and she's turned her Brood of Sneezing Brats loose on Our Favorite Starbucks. The fun began early this morning, when a trio of youngsters walked through the door, all clad in bright pink and blue bathrobes and fuzzy slippers. "Are you playing dress-up at school today?," asked an Innocent Bystander. "No," answered the Mom, "They're all sick ... they're not going to school today!" As if on cue, a little girl sneezed into a Kleenex, turned to her mother and cried, "I don't feel good, Mommy!" Far be it from me to criticize, but since when did Cappuccino replace Chicken Soup in the Pantheon of Acceptable Comfort Foods? And on what planet is it considered proper to turn your neighborhood Starbucks into a Veritable Petri Dish? Granted, the cozy, down home atmosphere at 7th and Montana can be infectious, but this is ridiculous ...!
Love was in the air this morning at 7th and Montana as Our Favorite Starbucks paved the way for Valentine's Day with enough "mushy" merchandise to make Cupid blush. My favorite item was the "I Love You" game which, for $7.95, allows you to send Mystery Messages to your loved ones in invisible ink. Personally, I think we should send one to Janice Turner, a columnist for the Times in London, who yesterday launched a blistering attack on Starbucks everywhere in a column entitled "A Tall, Bland Caramel Thing, Please. Why Did We Model Our Coffee Shops on American's Instead of Continental Ones?" In her column, Ms. Turner whines about the quality of a Vanilla and Caramel Latte Macchiato she ordered at a Starbucks in Berlin, calling it "a bland half-pint of milk with as much coffee flavour as if someone sipping an espresso had sneezed over my cup." She bemoans the fact that wherever you are in London, you're never more than five minutes from a Starbucks ("the same," she writes, "can be said of a rat."). Indeed, Ms. Turner, I smell a rat. I've been to the same Starbucks you're complaining about in Berlin, the one near "Checkpoint Charlie," and -- last time I checked -- there weren't any former Gestapo Agents pointing a gun to my head and forcing me to drink a "Tall, Bland Caramel Thing." If you want a cup of coffee, order a cup of coffee. They serve it in the "Continental" style, along with the "small, free delicious biscuit" you seem to crave. As for your complaints that Starbucks has virtually taken over the coffee scene in London, I can sympathize. It must be difficult for you to watch "foreign" food chains and coffee houses thrive in a city so famous for its local cuisine. Last time I was in London, I noticed something missing from the Starbucks display case ... something that just might change your opinion about Starbucks forever. If you have an open mind, I'd be more than happy to send you a Delicious, Mouth-Watering Apple Fritter, straight from the Pastry Shelf at 7th and Montana. Consider it a Valentine's Gift ...!
It was a Full House this morning at 7th and Montana with initial reports suggesting that the crowd set new a new World Record for the number of people seated around a single Starbucks table. In addition to the "regulars," special guests today included: Wing (who flew in from a morning spent "rowing" indoors); Leela (who escaped Seattle this weekend to get some sun, only to find predictions of torrential rain); Andrew (who nearly embraced Joyce in a case of mistaken identity); Mel and Paulette (aglow with the news that you can save a bundle on a four-shot, nonfat iced cappuccino topped with foam by using complimentary nonfat milk) and Terry (visiting Howard and Cathy from Mexico). In a strange example of "Six Degrees of Separation," Howard and Cathy met the family who purchased Howard's Mother's diamond ring from a jeweler in Vail, Colorado. And, for when Six Degrees of Separation aren't enough, an Anonymous Schmoe (pictured above) emerged from his car, yelling enigmatically into his cell phone, "I can't believe she actually slashed his tires ...!!!"
The storm system which has dumped more than 8 inches of rain on parts of Southern California has done nothing to dampen our spirits at 7th and Montana. In fact, Our Favorite Starbucks took on a downright "cozy" atmosphere today as Manager Gabe moved some extra tables inside to accommodate the morning rush. In some cases, however, the atmosphere seemed a bit too cozy: An Anonymous Card Shark camped out at the counter, sporting a Dirty Hoodie, Fatigues, Fuzzy "UGG" Slippers and a beard that hasn't seen the likes of a razor in at least a decade. Not surprisingly, he was playing Solitaire ...!
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