Sunday, February 15, 2009

FROM RUSSIA WITH HATE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!


Cheers erupted at 7th and Montana this morning as I took decisive action against yet another Angry Russian in our midst. The fun began when the Russian-in-Question, a Local Refusenik with a chip on his shoulder the size of Siberia, raised a ruckus at the Espresso Counter. "You people are agonizingly slow," he barked at Barista Kenisha. And then, as if to imply that Russia sets the world standard in Food Service Efficiency, he grabbed his coffee, stormed out the door and lit up a cigarette. That was his Big Mistake. You see, the City of Santa Monica enforces a strict ban on smoking within 20 feet of entrances, exits or open windows of public buildings and at all outdoor waiting areas including ATMs, Bus Stops and Movie Lines. I didn't waste any time calling the City's "Smoking Hotline." "Hello," I said, "I am a Concerned Citizen and would like to report a Smoking Offender at 7th and Montana ... Can you send someone right over?" An hour later, two Police Cars arrived on the scene and an Officer attempted to issue a Citation. Naturally, the Russian beat a hasty retreat moments before the Police arrived but, as luck would have it, he was replaced by another Smoker (pictured below). Baristas Kenisha, Anthony and David applauded my efforts to protect Our Favorite Starbucks from Ashholes of all kinds. "We're in this together," said Anthony, giving me a high-five. I guess that makes us all Comrades ...!

13 comments:

Traci said...

I love ratting on people. Too funny!

Lynne said...

LOL, I would of said ... well if you are that dissatisfied with USA's service, then maybe you need to make a speedy retreat back to where ever you came from.

garnett109 said...

good thing nobody chews tobacco

Sonya said...

hilarious!

emikk said...

I think Starbucks should sell cigarettes (only to Russions) that have explosive loads in them so that when they light up it explodes in their face! (with collateral damage to their mocha's)

Joann said...

He must have been a very young Russian, not one who had to wait in those longs lines in Russia for a potato or bread back in the 70's. Can't BELIEVE he'd have the audacity to complain NOW!!

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

That smoking hotline should be renamed to get to it when we can hotline. How can you take an hour to respond to an event that takes five minutes or less :o)

Mike said...

I'm jealous. I wish we had a hotline to call or at least a bat signal to shine.

Indigo said...

You get the most bizarre assortment of characters there Marty! (Hugs)Indigo

Chopper Wallpaper said...

H A P P Y - V A L E N T I N E!

Myra said...

What nerve!! Not just to complain of the "slowness", but then to light up!! Kudos to you for tattling on this bozo...both of them!!

Beth said...

Wow, I go out of town for a short weekend, and looks what happens: 7th and Montana is infiltrated by the Red Menace! Way to do your part, though, Concerned Citizen. :)

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