Sunday, February 15, 2009
FROM RUSSIA WITH HATE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!
Cheers erupted at 7th and Montana this morning as I took decisive action against yet another Angry Russian in our midst. The fun began when the Russian-in-Question, a Local Refusenik with a chip on his shoulder the size of Siberia, raised a ruckus at the Espresso Counter. "You people are agonizingly slow," he barked at Barista Kenisha. And then, as if to imply that Russia sets the world standard in Food Service Efficiency, he grabbed his coffee, stormed out the door and lit up a cigarette. That was his Big Mistake. You see, the City of Santa Monica enforces a strict ban on smoking within 20 feet of entrances, exits or open windows of public buildings and at all outdoor waiting areas including ATMs, Bus Stops and Movie Lines. I didn't waste any time calling the City's "Smoking Hotline." "Hello," I said, "I am a Concerned Citizen and would like to report a Smoking Offender at 7th and Montana ... Can you send someone right over?" An hour later, two Police Cars arrived on the scene and an Officer attempted to issue a Citation. Naturally, the Russian beat a hasty retreat moments before the Police arrived but, as luck would have it, he was replaced by another Smoker (pictured below). Baristas Kenisha, Anthony and David applauded my efforts to protect Our Favorite Starbucks from Ashholes of all kinds. "We're in this together," said Anthony, giving me a high-five. I guess that makes us all Comrades ...!