Eyes were popping at the Starbucks on Houston Avenue this morning when a Poor Shlubb ordered a simple bowl of Oatmeal and got less than he bargained for. Let me explain. I made the scene at about 7:30 a.m. and ordered a bowl of oatmeal and a banana. “That looks good,” said the Shlubb. “It is,” I replied, “And it’s good for you, too.” The Shlubb followed my lead and also ordered a bowl of Oatmeal. Five minutes later, all Hell broke loose. “Excuse me,” he said to the Barista on duty, “Can I have a spoon?” “No you may not,” said the Barista, curtly. “Seriously … I can’t get a spoon?!?,” the Shlubb repeated, his voice rising. “That’s right,” said the Barista, “No spoon for you! We’re out of spoons.” “What’s that I see right there … isn’t that a pile of spoons?,” said the Shlubb. “No. They’re not spoons,” said the Barista, sweeping a pile of what looked like plastic spoons out of sight. “How am I supposed to eat my Oatmeal, then?,” cried the Shlubb, “And what about him … did he get a spoon?” The Shlubb pointed in my direction. “Don’t drag me into this,” I laughed, waving my spoon in his direction, “This is strictly between you and that Spoon-atic behind the counter.” In the end, the Barista handed the Shlubb a fork and suggested he make do ...!