Barista Extraordinaire Nada made the scene today after what seemed like a brief absence at 7th and Montana. Despite some speculation that she was still smoldering after last month's "smoking" incident, Nada explained that she's been working the "night shift" lately. "It's easier," she said. "Less hassles, less headaches!"
Good news, Starbucks fans. Our Favorite Coffee Conglomerate is taking one step closer to total world domination as workmen put the finishing touches on what will become the third Starbucks in a one block radius on Montana. According to workers on the scene, the new Starbucks at 7th and Lincoln -- just steps away from 7th and Montana and across the street from the Starbucks in Pavilions -- opens on Friday. I inspected the facility earlier this week, together with Rita, and we both came to the conclusion that the new location suffers from "Bad Corner Karma!"
If you've lost a "beautiful, clean, adult cat" in the vicinity of 4th and Palisades, today might be your "lucky" day. While an Anonymous Good Samaritan cared enough to rescue a lost cat and post a sign at 7th and Montana searching for its owner, the sign itself raises some interesting questions. For starters, there is no call-to-action. How do you claim the cat? Where is it being held? What's the matter, cat got their tongue ...? 
It was a match made in Heaven this morning as our local King of the Road -- the man who leaves his Tioga Motor Home permanently parked on neighborhood streets -- finally found what might be described as the Perfect Parking Space. His trailer (California License #5XSA295) is currently parked alongside Our Favorite Fixer Upper, the home at 7th and Alta which has been gradually disintegrating for years!
A mysterious newcomer took environmentalism to a new level at 7th and Montana this morning by fishing a used coffee cup out of the garbage and bringing it into Starbucks to get a half-price "refill." For an encore, the gentleman -- pictured here -- grabbed an unused chair in what insiders suspect was an obvious effort to redecorate his apartment.
I just took one last walk around Kapaluah this morning before winging my way to the airport and home sweet home. Here are some final parting shots including: More Breathtaking Vistas, a Banyan Tree, My Colleagues Judy (from Hong Kong) and Nick (from Tokyo), and Some Disgusting Mold Growing on a Tree. Enjoy ...!
Imagine my surprise as my stroll to the "General Store" in Kapaluah today became a game of "Dodge Ball." More than a dozen golf balls had landed in the parking lot and lodged themselves in a grate on the sidewalk. Evidently, the store was a bit too close for comfort to the golf course. Next time, I'll bring my Pith Helmet ...!
I had a free evening last night here in Maui and decided to spend it with some colleagues in Lahaina, the historic seat of Hawaiian royalty. Today, Lahaina plays host to a variety of local shops and restaurants. These photos include shots of: Ka'anapali Beach and the Whaler's Village (an outdoor shopping area distinguished by a whale skeleton dangling on display); Flamingos and Flowers near the Beachwalk at Ka'anapali; My colleagues Judy (hamming it up with a fake gorilla) and Asako (shopping, as usual) and Sunset over Lahaina. We avoided the Dinner Ferry to Molokai and its popular Leper Colony ...!
They have a saying here in Maui -- "Ohe Puki Eki e Ke Ho Ao Ia e Pi i" -- which, roughly translated, means "No cliff is so tall that it cannot be scaled." My experience tonight proves otherwise. Following a nice dinner with a group of colleagues, a number of us decided to try walking back to the hotel. In our defense, I should point out that there are no street lights in Kapalua and it was a pitch black evening. Don't ask me why, but one of the movie industry's brightest minds suggested that we take a detour through a golf course ("It's easy ... I played this course today ... we just have to cut through the 16th hole ..."). Three sprinklers, two sandtraps and one fence later, we ended up in somebody's back yard. By the time we sloshed our way back to civilization, the rest of our group was ready to call out a search party!
Archeological evidence suggests that not only does my hotel here in Maui reside on an ancient Hawaiian burial ground, but that local natives actually installed a Makaluopuna -- or "a stone gateway between this world and the next realm" -- right in the hotel lobby. The gateway, pictured here, was used centuries ago as a portal allowing the spirits of dead ancestors to return from the Great Beyond in the form of lizards, sharks, owls, hawks or frigate birds. I guess that explains some of the characters I ran into at the bar last night!
Aloha from "Cleveland." As most of you know, I usually tell people I'm going to "Cleveland" when traveling to Hawaii on business. That way, nobody gets the wrong idea. Anyway, I just arrived at the Ritz-Carlton in Kapalua and took a quick walk around the grounds. As these photos suggest, the property is as expansive as it is expensive, covering more than 13 acres of pristine beachfront property, pools and golf courses. What the guidebooks don't tell you, however, is that the hotel is evidently also situated on the remains of an ancient Hawaiian burial ground. I guess when they say it's "check-out time" around here, they really mean it! 
It was "Rhoda to the Rescue" this morning as Emmy-Award winning Television Actress Valerie Harper -- perhaps best known for playing Rhoda Morgenstern on "The Mary Tyler More Show" -- defended the crowd at 7th and Montana from yet another Blabbering Psychopath. The fun began when the Psychopath-in-Question snuck up behind me with a burning question: "How do I stop my cell phone from beeping? It's driving me crazy." Just as I was preparing to suggest he try another cell -- preferably a padded one -- Harper saved the day. "You need to leave, now," she said. "These people are trying to drink their coffee in peace." She even gave him $2.00 to go away. Now that's what I call a Class Act. Harper most recently starred in the hit play "Golda's Balcony" on Broadway. As for the Psychopath, he was last seen wandering aimlessly around 7th Street with a bouquet of roses.
Scientists were baffled this morning as two unidentified women at 7th and Montana broke the sound barrier in an apparent effort to shower a rodent-like Chihuahua with affection. Ironically, while the air was filled with Yips, Yaps and Howls of Delight, the "dog" itself remained mysteriously quiet. Said one exasperated bystander, "Where's Charlie when we need him?!?"
Local residents were stumped this morning on news that yet another Towering Eucalyptus on 7th Street is destined for the scrap heap. The tree in question, by the Northwest corner of 7th and Marguerita, has been "red tagged" for removal in a matter of days. Evidently, mold on its roots has left the specimen particularly prone to toppling over!
Joyce took one step closer to becoming our Official Neighborhood Neatnik this morning as she again re-arranged the chairs and tables at 7th and Montana. Granted, it's the season for Spring Cleaning, but I'm starting to suspect it's no coincidence that Little Alex's first word seems to be "trash can"!
It's official ... privacy is dead. It was murdered this morning at 8:30 a.m. by the builders of the Monstrosity under construction at 7th and San Vicente who, in a new twist of fate, decided to install a Veranda overlooking my bedroom. I, for one, am counting on the Santa Monica Police to arrest the builders on charges of obstruction ... and let's hope they read them their Veranda Rights!
I made it home safe and sound from D.C., just in time to see that AOL has made some changes to its blogs. Now all my photos seem to move around on their own, zooming in and out whether I want them to or not. The layout has changed, too. Evidently, AOL decided it was time for a change. I guess it's true what they say, "Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely." On that note, here's a shot of the White House from my quick trip to D.C.!
As I left for Washington, D.C. this morning, I couldn't help noticing that United Airlines is going to great lengths to discourage travelers from talking to human beings. Need to check-in? Talk to the Computer Kiosk. Want an upgrade? Ask the Kiosk. Trying to check future flights? Go to the Kiosk. Mark my words, one day soon the Kiosk will start spitting out Pink Slips to "redundant" employees across LAX!
Kudos to Howard and Cathy who returned to 7th and Montana this morning with stories from their work supervising an Etiquette Class for underprivileged teens in L.A. If we're lucky, maybe we can get "Miss Manners" to make an appearance at Starbucks. Lord knows those teens who were blowing smoke at Baby Helena yesterday could use a dose of common courtesy!
Shit was flying this morning at 7th and Montana as two obnoxious teens lit cigarettes and deliberately blew the smoke in Baby Helena's direction. "What do I care ... I don't have a baby," growled the elder of the two teens from her seat beneath the "No Smoking" sign. Meanwhile, Helena, as if on cue, pooped-up a storm, prompting Greg to change her at the Coffee Counter (Photo #2)!
Police have been swarming around my office near Sunset Strip this week, pulling drivers over at a dizzying pace. At first I thought perhaps they found a suspect in the Mysterious Urine Incident of 2006, but new evidence suggests they might be on the prowl for Paris Hilton. Believe it or not, Paris was spotted here shortly before her sentencing and her "friend" Lyndsay Lohan lives across the street.
Inside sources suggest that our local "King of the Road" -- known for leaving his unsightly Tioga RV parked on neighborhood streets for days on end -- may be forced to abdicate his throne. Just this week, police responded to the scene of yet another dispute involving the King and a disgruntled homeowner. With any luck, the dilapidated trailer will be "for sale or rent" real soon ...!
Bells were ringing and the crowd was cheering this morning as the Dignified Walking Lady returned from her Winter Hiatus. Known for her bundling (she dresses like an Eskimo even in 90-degree heat) and for her trundling (she walks everywhere), the Dignified Walking Lady is a true Harbinger of Summer. In unrelated news, Rita announced today that she's leaving for Bora Bora!
Everyone knows that Nada, our Barista Extraordinaire, is prone to huff and puff when a new Starbucks employee steps out of line, but today's crop of "newbies" had her puffing in more ways than one. Poor Nada slipped out the side door and smoked up a storm. I guess she's lucky no one dialed 310-458-8923, the hotline for reporting violations of Santa Monica's new "no smoking" laws!
It was another picture perfect morning in Santa Monica. So perfect, in fact, that it was hard to leave 7th and Montana today for the office. At least I took an extra long walk yesterday, starting with a stroll down Adelaide with its views of the Canyon, the Pacific and the Notorious Ocean Towers (1-6), continuing down the length of Palisades Park (7-8) and culminating in a long walk down a Short Pier (9-11)! 
It was a full house at Starbucks this morning as an Anonymous Lummox held up traffic by slowly, separately ordering one of every pastry on display (#1). Moments later, he blocked the exit by dropping a tray of steaming cappuccinos all over the floor (#2). On a happier note, Howard and Cathy just returned home, renewed and refreshed from their trip abroad. Everyone was thrilled to see them, especially Our Pal Zoey (#3)!
What would you do if a complete stranger wandered into your car and chain smoked a few cigarettes? Such was the challenge Kovar faced this morning when he realized, much to his shock, that he had forgotten to lock his car door last night and some unidentified ne'er-do-well used the passenger seat as an ashtray. Holy Smokes!
New evidence suggests that the mysterious Scribbler-in-our-Midst -- who can be found scribbling in the same notebook every day from dawn to dusk at Starbucks -- is more than what he seems. While many assumed based on the "violent" nature of his penmanship that he was a borderline psychopath, I couldn't help noticing today that he had a book by his side entitled "How to Make a Good Script Great."
Things got exciting this morning at 7th and Montana as an anonymous motorist plowed full steam ahead into one of the protective pylons designed to prevent "automotive mishaps" at the Curb from Hell. The fact that the pylon in question was ripped from its base raised hopes among local spectators that Starbucks will once again play host to its very own Demolition Derby!
What do you give the "89-year-old" pooch who has everything? The general consensus at 7th and Montana is that Our Favorite Cocker Spaniel, Toby, could use a prescription for Puppy Prozac. While the FDA has evidently approved a version of Prozac for anxious dogs -- to be marketed under the name "Reconcile" -- I think it would be a doggone shame if Toby spent what's left of his Golden Years popping anti-depressants! 
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