THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING, THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Today may be Valentine's Day, but a Cold War was brewing at 7th and Montana, thanks to a pair of Shifty Russian Operatives who "stole" a table right out from under my very nose. Let me explain: When I arrived at Our Favorite Starbucks this morning, there were no tables to be found. Neighbor Richard was sitting at the nearby bus stop, waiting for a table to open up. "I'll tell you what," I said, "You keep watching for a table and I'll run in and grab us both some coffee." By the time I returned, however, Richard was fuming. "That Russian couple over there stole our table," he said. Evidently, just as Richard was about to claim the only available table, the Russians -- a husband and wife team -- swooped-in out of nowhere and brushed him aside. "It's mine!," shrieked the woman, delivering a Nuclear Missive worthy of Brezhnev, "This table is mine!" All I can say is "Be on the Lookout, folks:" Something tells me they're KGB (Kleptomaniac Good-for-Nothing Barbarians) ...!