Saturday, August 11, 2012
'MINNIE' HA-HA ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!
Hallelujah! After a long, dry spell, it was once again raining nuts at 7th and Montana this morning. Meet 'Minnie Driver,' a petite matron who turned the parking lot behind our Favorite Starbucks into a three-ring circus. One minute she was "just passing through" in her Toyota Camry and the next she was wreaking havoc. In her zeal to find the perfect parking space, she hit two cars -- one a brand, new Audi, the other a white SUV -- and then, faster than you can say "Hasta La Vista, Baby," she tried to drive away. Unfortunately for her, the owner of the Audi was standing right there and witnessed the whole thing. He blocked her path. "Where do you think you're going?," he yelled. 'Minnie' was dumbfounded. He continued yelling, "You drive in here, hit two cars, and then try to get away before anyone notices?!?" "I, uh, don't know what you mean ...," she stammered. "I mean this," the man yelled, pointing to the damage to his car. 'Minnie' got out of her car and the two started arguing for fifteen minutes. "You're not leaving until I get your information!," the man insisted. That's when things got interesting. 'Minnie,' under pressure, shared her insurance information, then started walking around in aimless circles muttering to herself. Then she opened and closed all four doors of her car and poked her head in and out of the front and back seat for no apparent reason. The man calmly watched her the whole time, then finally said, "If you'll excuse me," I'm going to go find the owner of the other car you damaged." At this point, "Minnie" became frantic. She whipped out her handbag and rifled through it again and again. She was so preoccupied she hardly noticed when the owner of the other car she had hit emerged. "I ... ummm ... oh ... errr ... ," she stammered in lieu of an introduction. By now, the man who had originally caught her in the act quietly got back into his Audi and started pulling away. "WAIT!," shrieked 'Minnie,' pounding on his hood, "You can't leave ... Somebody get him ... this man stole my keys ...!!" Somehow, despite 'Minnie's' best efforts, the man maneuvered his way around her, leaving 'Minnie' alone to face the owner of the other car she had hit. They appeared to exchange information without incident, but then 'Minnie' had another problem. She was stranded in the Starbucks parking lot. I don't know whether or not someone 'stole' her keys, as she claimed, but perhaps it's all for the best. Something tells me her record at the DMV is anything but 'Minnie' ...!