FINDING RELIGION ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Rigolatte -- the local loon known for locking himself in the rest room at Our Favorite Starbucks and belting out opera tunes for hours on end -- has finally met his match.  Meet 'the Church Lady,' a woman who was so taken with Rigolatte this morning she decided to impersonate a church.  The fun began when Rigolatte started warming-up his pipes at about 11:30 a.m.  "Mi, mi-mi-mi-mi .... Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti ...," he sang out as he walked up 7th Street and marched through the front door.  "What was that all about?," asked the Church Lady.  "Oh, he's just preparing to sing Opera," I replied.  "I LOVE opera," she said, "Maybe he'll give us a concert?"  "I wouldn't ask him if I were you," I warned, "He's also very religious and will try to get you to join his church."  "Oh," replied the Church Lady, "There's nothing to worry about there ... I AM a church ... I'm my very own Church and I worship at my own altar!"  She stretched her arms skyward to form a makeshift steeple and sat there waiting, as if for her congregation to arrive.  "Yup, I'm a Church!," she repeated at various intervals, "I'm still a Church!"  Who knows, maybe one day Rigolatte will join her and, together, they can form their own Moron Tabernacle Choir ...!