FROM RUSSIA WITH LOATHE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

It was high finance at 7th and Montana yesterday as an Anonymous Wheeler Dealer made the scene pitching a once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity.  The deal-maker, a Russian woman in her mid-fifties, wore a black cape, a fur boa, dark sunglasses and skin-tight, snakeskin pants.  She took a seat in the corner, whipped out her cell phone and started cursing in the kind of deep, heavily accented voice usually reserved for enemy spies in a James Bond movie.  "Nyet, Nyet, Nyet," she said, before switching to English, "F-ck, F-ck, F-ck!"   She dialed a number and turned on the charm.  "Daaahlink," she began, "I'm calling from my Los Angeles office and do I have an opportunity for you.  Qualcomm is in.  This will be big, I tell you.  It's global.  It's the biggest thing I've seen in a while and, just so you know, I used to run Compaq.  Let me put you in touch with my colleague in Vienna ..."  Just for kicks, I sidled a bit closer and started loudly ordering coffee drinks.  "Lucrative!" she shouted, "I'm only offering this to a chosen few!"  At that moment, as if on cue, the toilet flushed and Rigolatte -- the local loon known for belting out opera tunes for hours on end -- emerged from the rest room, yodeling as he walked by.  I'm not sure whether the Wheeler-Dealer closed her deal, but one thing's for sure, now we know who put the bull in the bull market ...!