FROM DEMI TO DUMMY AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

   

Roll out the Red Carpet, folks!  It was Celebrities Galore today at 7th and Montana as word spread that Actress Demi Moore and "Brit It Girl" Amanda De Cadenet made the scene at Our Favorite Starbucks.  The two could be seen slurping whole milk lattes and enjoying a perfect beach day in Santa Monica.  In related news, our very own One-Eyed Bandit achieved Celebrity Status today as a Commemorative "Plaque" bearing his name was installed on the "Wall of Fame" at the Federal Express office on Sunset Strip.  Indeed, I must take credit for this.  Throughout March, the Federal Express store near my office will put your name on its wall if you make a small donation to the March of Dimes.  I donated this afternoon, but gave full credit to the "One-Eyed Bandit"...!

THE BALD AND THE BEAUTIFUL AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

                             

It was a case of "The Bald and the Beautiful" at Our Favorite Starbucks this morning as a Beautiful, Young Woman charmed her way to the front of the line and a free cup of coffee.  The Soap Opera began when the woman-in-question bypassed a long line of customers and threw herself on the mercy of an Unsuspecting Dupe standing by the counter.  "Sir, I'm in a terrible hurry," she said, "Could you buy my coffee for me?"  The Dupe (pictured here) obliged, only to set off a storm of controversy as the customers standing behind him, led by Local Newshound Dennis, started complaining loudly.  For my part, I can't help wondering, was the woman-in-question really in more of a rush than everyone else ... or was she simply telling a Bald Faced Lie?!? 

BIG APPLE, BIG CHOCOLATE FIX ...!

                             

I'm in New York for an industry meeting today but something tells me that there won't be any Big Apples on the menu this time.  My hotel, the Crowne Plaza in Times Square, is right next to a Hershey's Chocolate Store featuring a 16-story chocolate bar and across the street from M&M World, a candy emporium selling nothing but M&Ms.  Not so long ago, Times Square was considered dangerous.  Now it looks like Candyland and smells like Hot Chocolate.  Who knows, maybe all this "revitalization" is really just a conspiracy from the American Dental Association ...!

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APOCALYPSE NOW ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

                             

A Transcendental Trio arrived on the scene at 7th and Montana on Sunday, intent on introducing Susan to the Finer Points of their New Age Philosophy.  Their theory -- gleaned in part from their own Past Lives -- is that the world will undergo a "dramatic shift" in 2012.  Those who embrace Gaia (the Greek Earth Goddess) will inherit the Earth and achieve an Unparalleled State of Nirvana.  The rest of us will be quietly "relocated" to a Mystery Location, elsewhere in the Universe.  "I can't take much more of their philosophy," confided Susan as she saw me walking by.  "And it's not just me.  They've driven Poor Sophia crazy!"  Indeed, Sophia -- the Australian Bearded Dragon -- began furiously trying to claw her way into the pavement within an hour of meeting the Philosophical Trio.  For my part, I'm keeping an open mind.  I don't mind being relocated, as long as there's a Starbucks on the other side ...!     

FRESH BLOOD AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

                             

"Fresh Blood" was in the air this morning at Our Favorite Starbucks as Manager Gabe introduced his new Assistant Manager, Jenny, to the crowd.  The two were huddled together for an In-Depth Orientation during which Gabe seemed to be tutoring Jenny on the ins and outs of 7th and Montana.  Admittedly, the exchange left me wondering:  Would it make more sense to forewarn Jenny about the Evil Munchkin, the One-Eyed Bandit and Our Friendly Neighborhood Antagonist ... or should we save that for later?  Meanwhile, it was "Fresh Blood" of another kind for Screenwriters Mark and Rob.  They're considering a short-term assignment involving Literary Triage for a Vampire movie ... !

"PAJAMA PARTY" AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

                             

Cathy kicked-up her heels this morning at 7th and Montana in anticipation of a much-ballyhooed "Slumber Party" tonight with 80 of her friends.  But don't jump to any conclusions:  Tonight's shindig is unlikely to include Sleeping Bags, Pillow Fights or Jiffy Pop popcorn.  It's being held at the Four Seasons Hotel to celebrate a friend's 65th Birthday.  Still, one wonders what they'll do when Cathy's friend turns 70 ... a Pizzafest at Chuck E. Cheese, perhaps?!?  Meanwhile, as for Howard, Pizza might be a Safe Bet for dinner in Cathy's absence.  Rumor has it, last time he was in the kitchen, he accidentally incinerated a copy of The Wall Street Journal while trying to "dry it off" in the Microwave.  Now that's what I call a Hot News Flash ...!

KETTLEBELLS ARE RINGING AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

    

Robin made the scene at 7th and Montana this morning, still aglow from her latest workout at the Fitness Factory in West Hollywood, where she exercises alongside the likes of Scarlett Johansson and Hugh Jackman.  What new Fitness Regimen could possibly compel her to cross the 26th Street Mason-Dixon Line out of Santa Monica?  It's called Kettlebells and Robin swears by them.  "It's quite a workout," she said, "It involves lifting big, metal balls.  After my first session, I couldn't walk for four days."  Kettlebells are castiron weights resembling cannonballs with handles.  Russian Athletes have used them for years to increase their strength, endurance and agility.  I guess this means that Robin will be in Tip-Top Shape this Summer.  Either that, or she'll grow a mustache and have to change her name to "Olga" ...!