RADIOACTIVITY ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Things got downright radioactive at 7th and Montana yesterday as Mr. Transistor -- the wealthy local eccentric known for parading up and down Montana Avenue with a blaring transistor radio -- made the scene at Our Favorite Starbucks. As usual, he carried his radio in one hand and a garbage bag in the other. The radio was tuned to a conservative talk show and the garbage bag seemed to be full of dog poop and other trash. "There he goes, again," I said, "Mr. Transistor and his annoying radio." "Why can't he just get radio signals through the fillings in his teeth like other crackpots?" asked one observer. "In case you haven't noticed," I said, "He doesn't have any teeth."

THE ROCKFORD FILES ... AT PALISADES PARK!

It was Lights, Camera, Action at Palisades Park tonight as Actor Dermot Mulroney (pictured above) made the scene with a camera crew to shoot the pilot episode of his new TV show, a remake of the 70's hit, The Rockford Files. In the show, which is expected to air this fall on NBC-TV, Mulroney will play the title character of Jim Rockford, a role made famous by James Garner. Published reports describe the new Rockford character as "easily irritated by morons." I decided to put that to the test, at least as far as the crew was concerned. "Whatcha doin?," I asked, despite the fact that it was obvious. "Working," said a man who looked like a talent agent. "Really?," I asked, "In a public park like this? Aren't you afraid folks might disturb you?" He didn't answer. "Hmmm," I continued, "If I didn't know any better, I'd swear this was a TV shoot." "Alright already," he replied, "We're remaking The Rockford Files ... now you know everything." "Actually, not quite everything," I replied, but by then it was too late. The Agent left before I could find out whether Dermot Mulroney knows that everyone thinks he's Dylan McDermott.

MOOBIN' RIGHT ALONG ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Stomachs were turning at 7th and Montana this morning as two men made the scene sporting the biggest Manboobs (or "Moobs") I've ever seen. "Oy," I said, "I think I'm seeing double ... no -- correction -- make that quadruple!" "Those two look like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum," said Hunter. "More like Tweedle Double D," I added. The whole thing was reminiscent of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer invents a Man Bra -- called a "Bro" -- for guys like this, whose cleavage would put Dolly Parton to shame. I whipped out my Spycam, changed my settings to "wide angle," and hoped for the best. "You're not actually putting that in your blog, are you?," asked one witness. "Of course I am," I replied, "Someone has to keep the neighborhood abreast ...!"

HANNA AND HER SUITORS ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Romance was in bloom this morning at 7th and Montana as Hanna -- formerly known as Pajama Girl for her occasional habit of wearing Pajamas in public -- put her considerable charms into overdrive. The fun began when she was adopted by "the Persians," a large group of Middle Eastern men who descend on Our Favorite Starbucks en masse every Saturday, take up every available chair and spend the morning shouting at each other in Farsi. They bought Hanna an Iced Coffee and invited her into their midst. "We are all very successful businessmen," said one of them, "Wouldn't you like us to give you a nice job?" Unemployment is at over 12 percent in California, but Hanna is doing very well for herself in the entertainment industry. "No thanks," she said. "We all belong to a club and we meet here every Saturday," said another, "Would you like to be our Chairman?" Hanna declined, firmly but diplomatically. Afterall, she's used to such attention. Fabio of I-Can't-Believe-it's-not-Butter fame has apparently been spreading it on thick for weeks ...!

LOONAR LANDING ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Eyes were popping at 7th and Montana this morning as Rigolatte -- known for locking himself in the bathroom at Our Favorite Starbucks and belting out Opera Tunes for hours on end -- made the scene with an imaginary rival. "This will be the death of you," he muttered into blank space, "The Angel of Death is coming for you and he's coming quickly." I didn't bother hiding my Spycam ... I just whipped it out and clicked away. Then it occurred to me that perhaps he realized I was taking his picture. "Do you think he saw my Spycam?," I asked, a bit nervously. Robin burst out laughing. "Trust me," she said, "You can rest assured that he didn't notice a thing." No doubt she was right. By this point, Rigolatte was engaged in a heated debate with a packet of Sweet 'n Low.

CAREER KUDOS ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Cheers erupted at 7th and Montana this morning as word spread that one of our very own -- a Barista at Our Favorite Starbucks -- has put his career in high gear. How? By accepting an internship on Cannabis Planet TV, a 30-minute TV show that explores the various merits of Cannabis. He's even gone on assignment in his free time, helping the show cover HempCon 2010, a special expo for the medicinal marijuana crowd. No doubt today's news -- that a measure to legalize marijuana will appear on the California state ballot this November -- will keep him and the crew at Cannabis Planet TV busy, as well. Just who is this Mystery Barista? I'd tell you, but I wouldn't want his career to go to pot ...

MUCH MALigned ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

It was a Happy Reunion at 7th and Montana this morning as I met my friend and former colleague, Mal, at the "fancy schmancy cafe" across from Our Favorite Starbucks. Mal, a wheeler-dealer CEO type from New York, has been reading my blog and was quick to ask me questions about it. "All these people you photograph, do they know you're taking their picture?," he asked. "No," I replied, whipping out my Spycam, "I usually try to make it look like I'm on the phone or sending someone a text message." I held my phone aloft to prove my point, then snapped his photo when he wasn't looking. "By the way," I continued, "the fact that we're meeting here is something of a milestone. I've been boycotting this place ever since we caught the owner dropping a bagel on the floor, dusting it off with her bare hands, and putting it back in the display case." Mal smiled politely. For the record, I did a little fact checking and it turns out that the troubles with the "Fancy Schmancy Cafe" began on February 17, 2008 when Robb and Robin caught the same owner handling money, then grabbing and slicing bagels without washing her hands. Fortunately, none of this was a problem today. Neither Mal nor I ordered any Finger Food ...!