Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the King of Babylon, a Royal Pain in the Ass who specializes in babbling on and on -- on his cell phone of course -- in a strange tongue that might as well be ancient Babylonian. "Is this seat taken?," he asked me. "It's all yours," I replied. But I might not have been so generous had I known what he had in mind. He dragged the chair behind mine, situating it within inches of me, all the better to soak up some sun. And then he did what he does best. "Blachma ... Drachma ... Bleckety Bleck!," he screeched into his phone, and then went on and on in his peculiar language for at least twenty minutes. I swear, one of these days someone's going to take that phone of his and crown him with it ...!