COUGH-Y AND COFFEE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the Smoking Dope, a Puffed-Up Buffoon who made the scene at 7th and Montana yesterday with a chip on his shoulder and a cigarette in his mouth. He huffed and puffed his second-hand smoke in my direction ... but I was ready for him. For weeks, I’ve been researching applications that would turn my Spycam into an Anti-Smoking Device and I finally found one. It’s called “Sick Guy” and it transforms your iPhone into a virtual hospital ward. Just tap the screen or give your phone a good shake and it coughs up a storm. I pointed my Spycam at the Smoking Dope, turned up the volume and began shaking it vigorously in his direction. It worked like a charm. My phone started wheezing and choking as if it were about to cough up a lung. As for the Dope, he pretended to ignore me but I just shook my phone faster and faster at him until he turned tail and disappeared down Montana Avenue in a puff of smoke. “It worked!,” said Joyce, as the Dope receded in the distance. “Indeed, it did!,” I replied. And to any of you out there who think you might try blowing smoke at 7th and Montana in the future, let me assure you, you’re just Smoking Dope ...!