MR. TAMBOURINE MAN HITS 7TH AND MONTANA ...

Mr. Tambourine Man made an appearance today at 7th and Montana ... and I don't mean Our Favorite New Neighbor Bob Dylan.  A mysterious newcomer arrived on the scene -- driving the wrong way through Starbucks' parking lot -- with one hand on the wheel and another on a tambourine.  As his radio blared, he sang at the top of his lungs and shook the tambourine for all he was worth. 

TOMATO INTERVENTION REQUIRED ...

You say "to-may-to."  I say "to-mah-to".  But my colleague Lisa Lake says, "Let's call the whole thing off."  Lisa, it seems, has an irrational hatred of tomatoes.  She won't touch them ... not even as an elegant garnish on her Birthday Cake (pictured here).  I think the crowd at 7th and Montana should plan an intervention! 

YELLOW PERIL AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

Call him "mellow yellow" at your (yellow) peril.  The resident of the bright yellow monstrosity on 7th Street made a brief appearance at 7th and Montana today.  Interestingly, photographic evidence suggests that his wardrobe is more subdued than his house.  I always thought he'd have more of a Ringling Bros. look to him!

COMINGS AND GOINGS AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...

There are so many comings and goings at 7th and Montana these days you need a scorecard to tell who's in town.  Comings:  Terri (returned from Firenze);  Leah (returned from Israel);  Karenina (returned from vacation).  Goings:  Howard and Cathy (to Vail ... see "file photo" of their departure from 7th and Montana on Sunday).  MIA:  Our Favorite Building Manager! 

"HAPPY DAZE ARE HERE AGAIN ..."

The crowd at 7th and Montana was treated to an impromptu concert this morning courtesy of a dazed and confused gentleman (picture here) who for some reason decided to belt out tunes at the top of his lungs between sips of coffee.  In the words of Our Favorite Barista, Nada, "He's drunk out of his mind ... you should see some of the weirdos we get in here."  Present company excepted, I hope ...!

"THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE HIM AWAY, HA HA ...!"

Sirens were blaring and tongues were wagging at 7th and Montana today as five police cars and an ambulance showed up to arrest a screaming adolescent.  The demented youth -- who according to reports was on acid -- had offered me $1 Million for my cell phone shortly before authorities removed him from the scene on a stretcher.  No doubt the poor kid was unaware that my cell phone doesn't even have a zoom lens!

CURB HIS ENTHUSIASM ...!

The Nincompoop of the Day Award goes to the gentleman driving the silver Volvo who -- unable to curb his need for caffeine -- accidentally beached his car in Our Favorite Parking Lot.  Perhaps someone should tell this Knucklehead that Starbucks doesn't offer curbside service!     

NO SHRIMPS ALLOWED ...!

Animal activists were aghast this morning on reports that Starbucks coffee is fatal to Brine Shrimp.  According to the man standing in front of me in line at 7th and Montana, tests indicate that a shrimp will die if you drop it into a Starbucks Grande Drip.  By the time I thought to ask him how he came by this information, he was gone ... no doubt to prepare his favorite lunch:  Shrimp in a PETA pocket!

SOL SOURCE OF INCOME ...?!?

Kudos to Howard and Kathy on the conversion of their home into a solar powered paradise.  Imagine watching a meter tell you each day how much energy you're pumping back into the city, not to mention how much money you're saving.  Congratulations to you both ... we always knew you had a lot of Solar Flair!

A SYMPHONY OF TRASH ...

They say one person's trash is another's treasure and that must be true for our friendly neighborhood sanitation worker.  Every morning this Maestro of Garbage arrives at 7th and Montana -- music blaring -- to rock the neighborhood as he empties the trash.  His visit today was so distracting, I couldn't resist capturing this photo for posterity. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHARLIE ...!

Rumor has it that our friendly neighborhood mascot, Charlie, celebrated a birthday today.  Happy Birthday, Charlie ... and many happy returns!

A TALE OF TWO STARBUCKS ...!

Imagine starting the day at Starbucks in Kyoto and ending it at Starbucks at 7th and Montana?!?  I guess it's fair to say I covered a lot of grounds today.  In between Starbucks, I toured the ancient Kiyomizu Temple (#1-17), strolled through Kyoto's famous Geisha District (#18-19) and checked out a Palace of Gold (#20-22).  My favorite attraction?  Lunch at Patrick's Roadhouse, followed by a walk on the beach!

A REAL "CAN-DO" TECHNOLOGY ...!

People often ask me when I return from Japan, "What's the most impressive technology you saw?"  The award this time goes to the toilets at the Hotel Granvia in Kyoto.  The so-called "Toto Washlet" features a control panel that even the Starship Enterprise would envy.  It "oscillates," "ventillates" and more.  Admittedly, I didn't press any of these buttons.  Let's just say I was afraid to find out what happens if the system crashes!

ANOTHER BENTO MOMENTO ...!

What's purple, putrid, pustulent and a taste sensation in Japan?  I'll bite.  On second thought, maybe I won't.  Anyone who can identify the mystery substance in my Bento Box (see Photo #1) wins a big surprise.  Meanwhile, dessert, featured in Photo #2, consisted of bright pink and blue nut-filled bean paste resembling an igneous rock formation.  Bon Appetit!

GOOD MORNING, KYOTO ...!

The sun rose early in Kyoto today and so did I, intent on exploring this city known as the "capital of capitals" before my day began.  Imagine my surprise on encountering locals ranging from a formidable little old lady with a walking stick to homeless vagabonds wheeling carts of trash ... all meandering their way to the local "Coffee Boss."  It might not be 7th and Montana, but I guess it really is a small world!

LONG DAY'S JOURNEY INTO FLIGHT ...!

I'm writing this entry from 36,000 feet, just as United #877 to Osaka is crossing the International Dateline.  We just passed over the Gulf of Anadyr, but one look at the Japanese businessman beside me tells me we've crossed into the Twilight Zone.  He began the flight by reading a Japanese newspaper but quickly switched to porn once the lights went out.  Now he's reading a Winnie the Pooh book!

A BICYCLE BUILT FOR SIX ...?

I've heard of pedal power, but the crazy contraption I saw in Times Square this afternoon beats all.  For one low fee, six lucky tourists can hop aboard this "uber-cycle" and make the rounds in the Big Apple in style!

MEET CAPTAIN BLINDY ...!

They say bats fly pretty well despite their less than 20/20 vision, but imagine my surprise when the Captain of United Flight #840 to NY stepped into the cabin, gave me a nice big smile and said, "How-dee-do!  I just had my eyes checked and got these terrific new glasses. Whadya think?"  Then, as he cackled his way back to the cockpit, a Flight Attendant noted, "He sure is a trip!"  Personally, I think he's a bit batty ...

CUT DOWN IN THEIR PRIME ...

If anyone has been wondering why that tasteful Hearse (with the slogan "Rent and Live with Westside Rentals") has been inching its way up 7th Street these past few weeks, I think I have the answer.  Today marked the beginning of the end for eleven of Our Favorite Eucalyptus Trees, as an eager beaver crew began hacking away branches at a feverish pace.  Why the rush?  I'm stumped! 

THE NEXT BIG THING ...

Kudos to Melinda for the work she does with her charitable organization, The Next Big Thing, a group which helps underprivileged African children get badly needed medical attention.  Today Melinda brought a special guest to 7th and Montana, a 2-year-old girl from Ghana who just arrived for an operation she can only get in the U.S.  What a great cause!

CONFESSIONS OF A CHAIR THIEF ...

O.K., I'll admit it.  I'm a chair thief.  This morning I lurked in the shadows, just waiting for a poor, unsuspecting couple to turn their backs so I could pounce on one of their chairs.  And I almost got away with it, too ("if it hadn't been for those meddling kids ...").  On the other hand, as a certain unmentionable Slumlord once said, "What are they going to do about it ... send me to the Electric Chair?!?"

ANIMAL MAGNETISM AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

News Flash:  Noah reigns supreme as the official "chick magnet" of 7th and Montana.  In the five minutes I spent watching the lovable pooch this morning, virtually every woman who walked by stopped to pet him.  Later in the day, I decided to put my own "animal magnetism" to the test with an excursion to the Hustler Cafe near my office on Sunset (see photos 2-3).  Where was Noah when I needed him?!?

LIKE A GOTH TO A FLAME ...

Every morning we see her -- our Favorite Lady in Black -- and every morning we wonder:  What gives?!?  Is she Bela Lugosi's daughter, an understudy for Elvira: Mistress of the Dark or merely a Southern Belle in disguise, sent to establish a beachhead at 7th and Montana?  In any case, as today's photographic evidence suggests, she drinks coffee (not blood).  How does she take it?  Black, of course ...!

ASPIRATIONS, POLITICAL AND OTHERWISE ...

The political aspirations of our neighbor Jonathan Levey were put on hold last night as he lost his bid for California State Assembly.  Meanwhile, it was aspirations of another kind for our very own Melinda, who had her knee aspirated to increase her mobility in the wake of her recent injury.  Judging from today's photo, the procedure came not a moment too soon.  Something tells me she aspired to beat a hasty retreat!

ELECTION DAY AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...

The prospect of today's statewide elections sent a shriver down my spine this morning as Our Favorite City Councilman -- Bobby Shriver -- took me by surprise by repeatedly urging me to vote.  Ironically, mere seconds before Shriver made the scene, Tom loudly proclaimed him a modern day "Carpet Bagger."  In any case, by the time Shriver left (see the back of his head receding into the distance), he had convinced me to vote!  

IDIOTS ON MONTANA ?!?

It's official:  Montana Avenue is infested with idiots ... and I don't mean the kind who leave remnants of their vehicles at Our Favorite Curbside.  The Aero Theater is running a special screening of Lars von Trier's memorable film The Idiots.   Still, one wonders what type of person would pay admission to see Idiots on Montana! 

COLOR THEM COLORBLIND ...!

Welcome to "Guess that Color" -- the guessing game we played at 7th and Montana this morning to identify the precise color of that garish monstrosity just North of Our Favorite Starbucks.  Is it "Dirty Gold?" "Yucko Stucco?"  "Sickly Urine?"  You decide.  But whatever you do, don't ask the owner.  According to the Online Color Test, this particular color -- whatever it is -- reflects an especially "stubborn and pompous" personality!

WITH APOLOGIES TO JOYCE KILMER ...

I think that I shall never see

a Poem Lovely as a tree.

But 7th Street is in dismay

as eleven trees will go away.

Farewell Eucalyptus, my heart doth sag

Our City hath given you a Big Red Tag!

 

HOME TOUR AT 7TH AND MONTANA ...!

Come one, come all!  Our Favorite Building Manager announced that on Saturday morning he will personally conduct a grand tour of the house being refurbished across from Our Favorite Starbucks.  "Not to worry," he said.  "The owners are good friends of mine.  They'd be thrilled to know I'm bringing the neighborhood through their new home before they move in!"  Perhaps we shouldn't mention anything to Officer Mike ... 

SEND TRISTAN SOME DRISTAN ...?!?

The crowd at 7th and Montana was in shock today on rumors that popular Barista Tristan was hit by a car.  According to Leah and Karenina, Tristan -- the victim of a recent hit and run accident -- was back behind the cappuccino machine today.  While Tristan was apparently vague regarding details of the accident, at least he's well enough to return to the daily grind.  Here's to your continued recovery, Tristan!