Stomachs were turning at 7th and Montana this morning as Starbucks introduced the latest in a new series of menu items, Pasta Salad with Chicken, by handing out "Free Samples" at 7:00 a.m. Earlier this week, also at 7:00 a.m., they tried passing around another crowd pleaser, Marinated Mozzarella Balls. Take it from me, there's something frankly repulsive about the notion of eating a Marinated Mozzarella Ball out of a plastic petrie dish before you've had your morning coffee. "I don't know why we're offering this stuff so early," said one insider. "We're just told to put the free samples on the counter." No doubt it's all the handiwork of a Highly Caffeinated Marketing Expert at Starbucks World Headquarters. To this genius I offer some advice: You might need to start replacing the cream in our coffee with Milk of Magnesia ...!