Another "phoney" celebrity did her best to make an impact on the crowd at 7th and Montana this morning, first crashing her BMW SUV into the Curb from Hell, then holding up traffic while she continued blabbering on her cell phone for all to hear. Eyewitness accounts suggest that the woman -- known to insiders as "Oblivia Newton John" -- seemed entirely oblivious as her tire exploded against the curb with an earth-shattering kaboom. By the time I arrived on the scene, she was still oblivious, chattering away on her cell phone while absent-mindedly backing her SUV into my path. "They never learn," said Our Fearless Parking Lot Manager. "Just talk, talk, talk on the phone." "Yes," I agreed, "Too bad those Protective Pylons have disappeared ...!"