Tension was mounting today at 7th and Montana as word spread of a "211 in progress" last night at the Wachovia Bank near Our Favorite Starbucks. A "211," I'm told, is Police Lingo for a Bank Robbery and, indeed, there has been a robbery in our midst. At approximately 5:30 p.m. yesterday, an Anonymous Nogoodnik barged into the bank and demanded that the employees "fork over" all their money. Word spread quickly throughout the neighborhood and, within minutes, Barista Robb had chased me down and Robin was text messaging me. "You have to check it out," Robb urged, "The Bank was just robbed!" "I'll take a look," I said, marveling at how nice it is to have friends who urge you to attend a Bank Robbery. I timed my arrival to be "fashionably late," making sure that the Nogoodnik was nowhere to be found. "What's going on?," I asked a Police Officer wearing a Surgical Mask. "I'm getting fingerprints," he answered, "There has been a robbery here." "Yikes," I said, "What's the world coming to?!?" "We've already apprehended a suspect," the Officer volunteered. The Parking Lot behind the Bank was swarming with Police Officers and Bank Employees. I quietly befriended several Tellers.
Me: Tell me, were you scared?
Teller(s): Not really. This is the most entertainment we've had all year.
Me: Wow ... I never would have imagined that being held up at gunpoint could be entertaining.
Teller(s): The guy was unarmed.
Me: Unarmed?!? I guess he had an Especially Nasty Note. Tell me, what did he look like?
Teller(s): He sort of looked like a Derelict.
Me: Really? Did he by any chance have an Orange Bandana covering One Eye?
Me: Was he riding a bike and carrying a stack of Old Newspapers?
Me: I know this must be difficult, but try to remember ... Was he wearing a Clown Suit ...?
And so it went. I ran through a Littany of Local Looneys and all of them seem to be Completely Innocent. Then, again, I wouldn't Bank on it ...!