Ladies and gentlemen, meet “Claudia,” an attractive young newcomer at 7th and Montana who – how can I put this delicately? – is a Clod. There I was, minding my own business yesterday, just trying to walk from the cash register to the condiments bar, when she stood up from her table and, without even looking, hoisted a large bag over her shoulder and onto my coffee cup. Coffee went flying all over my sport coat. “I’m soooo sorry,” she said, sincerely. “Not to worry,” I replied, “That’s why God invented brown sport coats!” Truth be told, it was custom-made, but I guess now, thanks to Claudia, it’s even more ‘customized.’ I quietly whipped out my Spycam and discretely took her photo. Later, when I looked at it, I realized that I wasn’t so discrete, afterall. She was staring right into the camera, as if she knew what I was up to. Oh, well ... I guess that makes me a Clod, too!