MAD HATTER ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the Mad Hatter, a man who made the scene at Our Favorite Starbucks this morning with a chip on his shoulder the size of a Ten Gallon Hat. The mere presence of a Mystery Hat on an an extra chair at his table caused him to fly into a rage. "Excuse me," I said, gesturing to the chair, "Can I use this chair? It looks like maybe you have it saved for someone." I was trying to be polite, but needed a chair. "Are you kidding me?!?," he said. I was dumbfounded. "No," I said, "I'm just looking for a chair." "That's ridiculous," he scoffed, "It's about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" I thought of saying "Right back at you," but kept my mouth shut ... and I'm glad I did. It turned out he thought I was trying to claim his whole table and that the Mystery Hat on his 'extra' chair was mine to begin with, as if I had snuck into Starbucks in the dead of night and dropped a hat at his table, just so I could later evict him. When he realized his mistake, he got very sheepish and apologized profusely. Frankly, I'd prefer to see him eat his hat ...!