A WHEEL LOON ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

It was a Low Speed Chase at 7th and Montana yesterday as a Crusty Curmudgeon in a white sedan putt-putted his way down 7th Street, followed by no less than four police cars, all blaring their sirens. One of the officers was shouting "Pull Over ... Pull Over!" at various intervals, but the Curmudgeon would have nothing of it. He clutched his steering wheel for dear life, gritted his teeth and kept shaking his head back and forth like a human bobblehead, as if to say "You'll never take me alive!" The fact that he couldn't have been going more than two miles an hour -- and that any police officer worth his salt could have outrun his car -- made the whole thing seem surreal. "He's probably just confused his horn with the Life Alert button," I said as the Curmudegon made a left on Montana. Later, the whole thing was in the news: Pursuit Winds Through L.A. Evidently, the Curmudegon was first spotted "driving erratically" in Malibu, then chased down Pacific Coast Highway through to 7th Street. A helicopter joined the chase shortly after his rendevouz at 7th and Montana. The whole thing ended 90-minutes later in Mid-City L.A. where he crashed at the corner of Pico and Redondo and was taken to the hospital. I hope he's O.K. -- at least well enough to lead hospital officials through a merry chase down the corridors of Cedars-Sinai -- but the whole thing is really a cautionary tale. Remember, folks: The same loons who serenade us at 7th and Montana spend their spare time driving around the streets of L.A. ...!