Head for the hills, folks! A Mysterious One-Eyed Bandit made the scene today at 7th and Montana and it looks like he's fixin' to take over this One-Horse Town. The fun began when the Bandit-in-Question -- a deranged cross between Billy the Kid and Captain Kidd -- strolled nonchalantly into Our Favorite Starbucks for a Decaf Espresso. While the crowd gaped in astonishment, the Bandit muttered to himself in increasingly agitated tones. "That's it," I said, knowing when to make an exit, "I'm getting the Hell out of Dodge!" Where's our Octogenarian Security Guard when we need him?!?