Quick, call the National Audubon Society! A new species of Loon has descended upon Goose Egg Park and, by all appearances, it means business. Found in the early morning hours, the typical specimen measures just under six-feet tall, weighs 150 pounds, has a goatee and appears to be practicing some form of Taekwondo in slow motion. Little is known about this species' migratory patterns, but it is believed to be indigenous to a Padded Cell. Forgive me for not getting a close-up, but this Particular Loon is also known to carry a Samarai Sword ...!