UNITED WE STAND AND STAND ... AND STAND ...

  

It was a case of "United we Stand" at the Los Angeles International Airport this morning as dozens of people stood for ages in a seemingly endless line to board United Flight #946 to Amsterdam.  The flight, you see, had "mechanical difficulties."  I wouldn't have minded waiting if I hadn't been sandwiched between the Travelers from Hell.  In front of me was the Swiss Family Obnoxious, a family of six who seemed to take great pleasure in cutting in front of me in line by ducking under a cordoned area.  "Mommy," said one of the little girls very loudly, "We just cut in front of that man."  "Shut up!," replied the mother (pictured above), "Do you want him to hear you?!?"  At this point, the man standing behind me in line -- an elfin creature with a mischievous grin -- tapped me on the shoulder.  "They say the plane has a mechanical problem," he said, "Of course, I know all about mechanical difficulties ... Airline Disasters are my business!"  "You don't say," I replied, "Are you traveling on business or pleasure?!?"  "Alas," he chuckled, "Duty calls."  "I know the feeling," I said, "If you'll excuse me, I need to check-in with the office."  And with that, I ran as fast as my legs would carry me to the nearest airport lounge and rebooked myself on another flight.  Last time I checked, "Mr. Disaster" was still regaling the crowd with details of Eastern Air Lines Flight 401 which crashed in the Florida Everglades in 1972, and the Swiss Family Obnoxious was busy staging a Family Feud ...

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