Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Stepford Starbucks, the squeaky clean cafe near the Rancho Bernardo Inn where every day is "spectacular" and the baristas whistle while they work. I knew something was up as soon as I walked in the door. "Hi there ... what will it be?," asked a barista whose name, Stephanie, was neatly embroidered on her apron. "I'll have a Grande Half Caff," I said. "Spectacular," she replied. There were no super heroes wearing underpants on their head, no opera singers belting out disco favorites and no jittery nutcases throwing hot chocolate at passersby. Just a "Happy Housefrau" who hopped from table-to-table telling everyone to have a Spectacular Day while spraying everything down over and over with a bottle of window cleaner. I left before she could spray me down, too ...!