Pass the ear plugs, folks, the Local Oddball known as Phony Malone is back in town and something tells me he won't rest until everyone in a three-mile radius of 7th and Montana has heard at least one of his cell phone conversations. And what conversations they are, chock full of "intelligence!" You see, Phony fancies himself a Military Officer. Today he wore a U.S. Army baseball cap, backwards of course, and barked a series of orders into his cell phone. It sounded like he was discussing a "covert operation" in Afghanistan. "I'll be there's no one on the other end," I said. "You might be right," replied Joyce, "I just wonder what he's doing with the Plastic Rose." Indeed, despite his evident war-mongering, Phony was clutching a plastic rose in his left hand. I guess he's preparing for the War of the Roses ...!