THE FUNNY PAGES ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

It was a Taste of Toontown at 7th and Montana this morning as an Unfortunate Fashion Victim made the scene wearing a pair of skin-tight Lycra pants festooned with comic book scenes. "Now I've seen everything," I said, "Could anyone look more like they've walked right out of a comic book?" Moments later, as if on cue, a woman arrived looking like something out of "Tales to Astonish." She wore a sideways baseball cap with a skull on it, an orange bandanna, and large, leopard-print sunglasses. Her hair was like a vision from 1976, the year the FDA banned the use of Red Dye #2. Plastic skeletons dangled from each ear. "Holy Mary, Mother of God," I said, "Duty calls." I whipped out my Spycam and followed her into Starbucks. Unfortunately, she saw me walk in behind her. I put the phone to my ear briefly to create a cover story, then held it aloft. "I'm on hold," I said, quickly taking her picture, "Don't you just hate when that happens?" She ignored the question but surprised me with a comment of her own. "You look just like the actor who played Harold in Harold and Maude, one of my favorite movies!," she said. Her voice was raspy, almost as if her vocal chords had been dipped in nicotine. "Yes, that's it," she continued, "Harold and Maude. A great movie about a young man and an older woman. They don't make movies like that, anymore." Now it was my turn to feel like a Comic Book character. A thought bubble appeared over my head reading "Abbadee ... abbadeee ... abbadee ... That's All, Folks ...!"