Tires were screeching and tempers were flaring at 7th and Montana this morning as an Anonymous Hothead crashed the party in more ways than one. The fun began when the Hothead-in-Question -- a man in his mid-fifties -- rammed his pick-up truck against a pillar in Our Favorite Parking Lot and burned rubber trying to extricate himself. Onlookers gaped in astonishment as he threw his coffee cup out the window and quickly accelerated his way into oncoming traffic, narrowly missing a head-on collision. "Why don't you just chill-out, man?!?," suggested a Scrawny Teenager who was standing nearby. In response, the Hothead jumped out of his truck, put his hands around the teenager's neck and threatened to strangle him before moving on to the rest of the crowd. "Stop looking at me," he shrieked, "I'm having a bad enough morning as it is!" His morning got worse, however, when Robin -- ever handy with the cell phone -- dialed 911. Officer Duke Torrez arrived moments after the Hothead fled the scene, but just in time to get a description of him from the crowd.
"He was a doughy man, rather long in the face, not a snappy dresser," said Tom Bergeron, host of the hit TV series Dancing With The Stars. "I got a photo of him," I chimed-in, helpfully, "but unfortunately it was of his rear end." "That was his best feature," said Tom.
Moments later, Officer Torrez set off in hot(head) pursuit, but the Hothead -- perhaps aware that the police were on his tail -- circled back to 7th and Montana to apologize for his emotional outburst. "I'm so sorry," he said, "I had spilled coffee all over myself and got upset." While everyone accepted the apology, I, for one, am grateful that he spilled his coffee. Can you imagine this guy fully caffeinated ...?!?